Fault

Chapter 34

Fumbling several attempts to find the right key, I felt his dark presence closing the distance.

"Shi Shi, WAIT!" Jeremy shouted in an attempt to halt my actions.

"Oh my God, he's really here to kill me!" I thought, feeling my body temperature rise. Adrenaline ferociously thundered through my veins.

The door finally swung open, but I was dismally greeted with resistance by the tenacious Chicago wind when I attempted to push it closed.

Once secured, I took several step backwards and watched Jeremy press both fists against the transparent door. Expeditiously switching the baby from my left hip to the right, I held him close before reaching for my cellular device.

"ON MY SOUL, JEREMY, IF YOU WON'T GET AWAY FROM MY HOUSE I WILL CALL THE POLICE!" I panted from exhaustion.

"What are you talking about? Why would you call the police? You think I'm gonna hurt you or somethin'?"

"WHY ARE YOU HERE? I ALREADY TOLD YOU ONCE BEFORE ABOUT POPPING UP AT MY HOUSE UNANNOUNCED!"

"I didn't pop up unannounced, girl! Have you checked your phone within the last 10 minutes? I told you I was on my way to apologize and let you know that I support whatever decision you wanted." He reasoned with an innocent laugh.

"Nah, the last thing you said to me was, you were gonna kill me!"

"Really, Shauna?" He said smacking his lips. "You sound goofy as hell! I was just mad when I said all that. Will you please just check your messages so we can stop making a scene out here. Think about it, I'm trying to get you to keep my unborn child, so why would I ever bring harm to you, baby? Why would you even take that serious?"

I unlocked my phone to verify whether he actually texted as claimed. Sure enough, a long heartfelt message was sent to my phone 13 minutes prior.

It read, "Baby, I'm so sorry for getting upset about your decision. My actions clearly show that I'm being selfish. Just because it's not the best time for a baby right now, doesn't mean we can't try again in the future when things are better between us. Maybe we should just wait until after we get married and do things the right way...? Anyway, I'm going to stop by in 10 minutes so we can talk face to face. If you don't want to speak to me right now, I understand, just tell me not to come, otherwise, I'm on my way. I LOVE YOU FOREVER!" He wrote.

"Wow," I exhaled audibly while staring at the screen. "Did I really just overreact like this?"

"See!" He laughed, still standing in the cold after seeing me smile. "You were about to get me locked up for nothing. I would never intentionally hurt you...EVER! I would hurt myself before I let harm come your way, so ca..."

"Okay sooo, I'm just now seeing your message," I said, cutting him off with a laugh. "Obviously, I wasn't expecting you."

"I know babe, now open the door!"

"I can't though, Tionna has company upstairs," I lied. Things were still too weird between us. "Can we talk a little later though? I just need some time to decompress after my shenanigans."

I could tell Jeremy wasn't expecting the rejection, but for the moment, he knew better than to show signs of anger or ill-intent. Because of his calm demeanor, I called shortly after to hash out our differences. It was my conclusive decision not to tell him about the upcoming appointment just to avoid any added stress. Once again, all was well.

* * * * * *

The week seemed to fly by and I juggled my time between school assignment after assignment and being the best mother I could be to my one and only child. Amid this span of time, fatigue and morning sickness ravaged my body in the most callous and uncaring manner. The more it reared its ugly little head, the more I couldn't wait to be relieved of the displeasure.

Plagued with unsettling fear the evening before the procedure, I reluctantly set my alarm clock for 5 am. Instead of leaving from my own house in the morning, I decided to crash at Mone's. Her support meant everything to me and the fact that she lived closer to the facility was even better. As for the baby, I instructed her to drop him off at daycare by 8:30 am. Keeping the secret from everybody was a breeze this go-round, and with luck they would never find out. In order to achieve this agenda, business had to go as usual.

When making the initial appointment, the receptionist stressed that I was to arrive at the County Hospital promptly by 6:30 am with my medical card, cash, and I.D. in hand. Arriving any later would risk the chance of being turned around. I couldn't handle the thought of having to make another appointment at a later date.

After a sleepless and emotional night, I watched the clock strike, 4:49 am. For the next 60 seconds, I gave myself a pep talk and acknowledged the fact that it wasn't too late to change my mind. By 5:00 am, the alarm clock obnoxiously rang out...forcing my hand to make an excruciatingly arduous decision...