"Is this how my happily ever after supposed to look?" I thought to myself. "Me and Spencer sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G?" All signs may have been pointing to yes, but nothing inside my heart truly screamed so. Despite the empty feeling, I allowed myself to fall into Spencer for a brief moment. I opened my eyes mid-kiss and the look on his face was that of pure satisfaction. He wanted more, but I released the connection-- awkwardly trying to find the appropriate words to say next.
"So!" I breathed.
"I know," he returned with a grin.
"I guess I should...uhhhh...start preparing that dinner I promised you now, huh?"
"Oh no pretty lady...slow down for a sec. Don't you wanna...?" He said grabbing my hands and gesturing with his eyes toward my freshly made bed.
By now I surprised that one, Spencer was being so forward with me, and two, that he wasn't taking the hint when I initially changed the subject.
"Look, Spencer, we've come a long way. That doesn't mean we have to be all in, all at once, right? I'm not saying we won't get there tonight, but let's at least make the first time special. Can we do that? Plus, it's a big day for me. This is the first time I've ever lived on my own. I wanna celebrate that too!"
"No, you're right! I feel like an absolute ass right now," He replied apologetically. "This day SHOULD be special!"
"Really?"
"Yeah! In fact you can start cookin' and I'll make a quick run to the liquor store. I'm pretty sure I saw one up the street about a block and a half away. I don't drink, but since today is "special" I wanna switch things up," he said. I nodded in agreement and with that, Spence kissed my hand, grabbed his wallet, then disappeared out the front door.
"LORD, WHAT HAVE I DONE?" I shouted to myself. "I can't believe that I'm really gonna do this...I'm going to DO Spencer! Tonight! Ugh!" Part of me felt like he truly deserved to have me after all his efforts. So, backing out on the deal because I wasn't fully ready didn't feel like a fair choice anymore after all the games I've played. My only option now was to get us as drunk as possible and hope that we both pass out and forget ever discussing it. Suddenly my ringing phone and a simultaneous knock at the door averted my attention.
It was too soon for Spencer to be back...besides he took my key, so I was a bit confused about who could be knocking. There was no peep hole carved into the old wooden door and the entrance to my basement apartment was not facing the street view, so looking out of my front facing, small-scale window didn't help.
"Hello?" I said, answering incessantly ringing phone.
"Hey baby, I miss you!" The voice on the other end spoke. Suddenly the wind was knocked out of me.
"Jeremy? How did you get my new number!" I demanded.
At this point, my heart raced and I could feel my body temperature rise. Backing away from the door, my first thought was of Spencer. Knowing that Jeremy was capable of anything had me genuinely concerned about both of our safety.
"Shi Shi, let's make this right...can start over?"
"It's too late, I moved out of Chicago a few days ago. I'm actually back in Washington..."
"Oh, so you didn't just move to this blue house that I'm looking at right now...out south?" He laughed. "Why you lyin' to me?"
"Jeremy, please just leave me alone!" I begged. "IT'S OVER!"
"Over? Nah...It'll never be over, B***H! YOU KILL MY UNBORN CHILD, LEAVE ME ALONE TO DIE, LIE TO ME, THEN THINK IT'S GONNA BE OVER JUST LIKE THAT? HUH? JUST BECAUSE YOU SAID SO? YOU WILL DIE, BE REBORN, THEN DIE AGAIN BEFORE WE'RE EVER OVER!" He screamed between my sobs. "YOU OWE ME YOUR LOVE AND YOUR LIFE BABY! YOU TOOK THE LIFE OF MY UNBORN CHILD AND YOU CAN NEVER MAKE THAT UP TO ME! NEVER! Oh, by the way...I forgot tell you the funniest part..." He laughed. "Since you don't wanna be with me I might as well spill the beans, don't you think? WELLLLL, remember when you mentioned to me a long time ago that you thought I trying to get you pregnant on purpose? WROOONNNNGGGG! The truth is b***h, I WAS TRYING TO GIVE YOU HIV!!!"
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Fault
Non-Fiction"If you leave me, I will kill you," he said. This is how my story started. I left him 7 months ago, he'll swear we never parted. Recollections of such memories just brings my eyes to tears, it's the most pain I've ever experienced in my 21 years...t...
