Fault

Chapter 61

The time was now 7:28 pm and the heavy police presence in the area gave me an added volume of comfort in knowing that Jeremy wouldn't be coming back anytime soon— well, that's if he was even still alive at that point. The possibility of him being dead had me shaken to my core all over again. Most may find it hard to understand, but despite everything he'd put me through I still didn't want him dead— just permanently out of my life, ya know?

The cool spring air abruptly enveloping my skin, was everything I needed to both clear my mind and make sense of things. A triple shot of Hennessy could have also done the trick, but for now, I had to deal with reality sober-minded. Despite my efforts to remain optimistic during this sour stage in my life, all progress quickly dissipated as thoughts of Jeremy continued to monopolize the whole of my attention. Where was he? How was I going to explain to my Aunt what he did to her hallway? Hell, what was I going to do to keep myself safe moving forward since the police wouldn't help? The list went on and on as I continued to make my way up the street to meet with Mone'.

The moment she saw me advance toward her car, Mone jumped out and anxiously began surveying the area. Witnessing her being a complete wreck in this way was totally atypical of her usual demeanor and made me deeply concerned.

"Girl! Are you okay?" She urgently inquired as she threw herself into my arms. "Is he still around here?" Her panicked expression alone was a direct reflection of just how much my situation was affecting others.

"Yeah, everything is everything," I exhaled reassuringly. The secret shame I felt prevented me from looking my own best friend in the eye. "Not sure where he ran off to, but I'm just happy to be away from that house, ya know. You should see the bloody mess he left in the hallway, girl. It's UNREAL!"

"OMG, It's still there!" She gasped.

"Damn right! Who the hell did you think was gonna clean it up?"

"Yeah, I understand," she laughed, trying to make light of the situation. "Well c'mon, let's get in the car cause we have no idea where that lunatic is. It's scary as hell to think about the fact that he could pop up at any minute. I don't even know how you people can live like this," she ranted. "I mean think about it! Somewhere in the world, countless women are going through the very same thing as we speak and many of them will end up staying. It's scary!"

Fully aware that Mone' was right, I simply chose not to refute or respond to her comment. Thankfully she caught my vibe, so I was grateful for her subsequent attempt to keep the conversation positive and light until we arrived at my grandmother's house. Once there, Jamal and I said our goodbyes and safely went inside.

* * * * * *

Making our way up to the second floor of my grandmother's two-flat building, I could hear and feel how lively the place was. While I appreciated seeing everybody, what I really needed more than anything was uninterrupted rest. Unfortunately, the moment I opened the door I was immediately bombarded with back to back accusations, questions, and comments.

"What the hell do you got goin' on in my sister's house!" Millie interrogated the second I opened the door. She didn't give a damn about who was present in the room.

"What are you talkin' about Auntie?" I asked slightly confused as to how she knew anything had occurred in the first place.

"Oh, cut it out! You know exactly what I'm talkin' about, Lil' girl. Tionna already called and told me what happened..."

"Ooh, cuz I heard what happened too...but, you don't look beat up to me though!" My younger cousin Kennedy stated. I was nothing less than mortified.

"Is it true your boyfriend tried to kick the door in?" A family friend questioned.

"Why didn't you tell anybody that boy was jumping on you! You KNOW we don't play that!" Millie chimed back in.

"Ok first of all, hi everyone...it's not so good to see you all right now...yet, here we are," responded sarcastically. "Secondly, I don't know how Tionna could have called and told you anything considering the fact that I was the only one there! At this point, all of you can stay out my business."

"How are you trying to push away the people who are trying to help you?" Millie stated angrily.

"Because you're NOT trying to help! Half of you just want to know the details, and everybody else is trying to tell me the story of something that happened to ME! NONE OF YOU WERE THERE!" I shouted, beginning to tear up. The conversation annoyed me beyond measure.

"Okay baby, well since it's like that then, you don't have to worry about me being in your business at all. But, what you NEED to worry about is what you're gonna do next. Leave that boy alone! Let his ass go already! If a man hits you he doesn't love you and will continue hi..."

"Listen! This..." I gestured with my hands after setting Jamal down. "...THIS right here IS EXACTLY what I'm talkin' about! You're all in the kool-aid and don't even know the flavor! HE IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND!"

After going back and forth for some time, the elevated voices in the room must have prompted my uncle to step in from the kitchen. Seeing for the first time that I was visibly upset, he began trying to calm me down. 

"NO! Unc, I would never let a man put his hands on me! How is it that I am being blamed for this? YOU THINK I INVITED HIM OVER THERE? Y'ALL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M EVEN GOING THROUGH!"

At that moment, I wanted so badly to explain myself equally as much as I wanted to keep everyone out of my business. I wanted help just as much as I wanted to prove to everyone that I could fix the problem alone as a grown woman. Instant chatter and commentary filled the room in response to my outburst. Everybody was talking, but who was really listening to me? In the end, it didn't really matter because the room fell silent after Tionna unexpectedly came bursting through the door with the energy of an enraged bull...