They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. I'll never forget the vacant and devoid eyes that Jeremy possessed the first time he savagely became unhinged. While I was initially fearful and confused about the reason for the happening, his eyes...they told the silent truth about everything his inaudible words held secret...he was empty inside. In the same way, I'll never forget the frenetic, rage-filled eyes that Tionna now had as she charged in my direction. There was no reasoning with or talking her off the ledge this time. With a contentious approach, she picked up a large metal serving spoon, that up until that point, lay unbothered on my grandmother's dining room table. I knew what was coming next so I braced myself for the impending assault.
"WHAT THE F**K DID I TELL! HUH?" She roared, repeatedly hitting me after every other word. "THAT CRAZY SON OF A B***H CAME TO MY HOUSE FOR MURDER? WE BOTH HAVE KIDS TO PROTECT! ARE YOU EVEN THINKING OF THEM?" She paused for a second to allow her words to resonate. "THE POLICE HAVE BEEN CALLED MULTIPLE TIMES, THE GODDAMN NEIGHBORS ARE COMPLAINING, THE PROPERTY MANAGER IS THREATENING EVICTION BECAUSE THE NEIGHBORS KEEP CALLING AND NOW. I'M. DONE!" The stinging sensation of the last three blows caused me to jump up and cry out in pain.
"STOP! DON'T TOUCH ME AGAIN!" I shouted in defiance. The look on my face and boom in my voice as I flinched in her direction, conveyed that I no longer gave a damn. It was beginning to seem like everyone wanted to have a turn at beating my ass these days, but enough was enough! I meant it!
"OH REALLY?" She shuddered in disbelief. "IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER, YOU GOTTA GO! PACK YOUR S**T AND FIGURE IT OUT!" She demanded. A single tear rolled down her cheek.
Beyond angry at that point, all I could think about was the fact that my 20th birthday was a couple of weeks away. In other words, I was too damn old to be getting physically punished in this manner. Despite my irritation, fighting back never crossed my mind due to the degree of love and respect I had for my second mother. For what it's worth, I towered over Tionna in heigh and surpassed her in brute strength. Because of this, a one on one bout would've been unfair competition anyway. Had it been anybody else though, I would have done everything in my might to take control of that spoon and return the favor 10x over.
"TIONNA! LEAVE THAT GIRL ALONE!" My grandmother ordered. "WHAT'S DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND WHAT THAT BOY HAS DONE?" Every spectator in the room agreed.
"Stay out of it mom!" Tionna returned, trying to catch her breath. "I'm the one that's been lookin' out for her! ME! I KNOW WHAT I'M DOIN'!"
"WELL THIS ISN'T THE WAY!" My uncle James asserted. "CAN'T YOU SEE SHE'S ALREADY BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH?" I picked up my baby with tears welling in my eyes, then he gently guided me into a safe space.
It felt good to have the support of everyone in the room. The moment they started speaking up on my behalf, I began to feel as though the worst was over. I mean, after all of this it couldn't get any worse, right?
* * * * * *
Several days had passed and I refused to go home for obvious reasons. In the meantime, Uncle James allowed Jamal and I to crash at his place and even offered to let me rent the basement apartment of a house that he had just purchased for rental property. Accepting his offer was a no brainer, but it also meant a fresh start on a completely different side of the city. Jeremy wouldn't know where I was and the baby would be much closer to Trey. The only catch was I'd have to quit school and get a job...IMMEDIATELY!
Another issue that troubled me was child care. While in school, the state covered the entire cost so I never had to come out of pocket. However, once I got a job, things would be different. Relying on Trey to keep our child while I saved money for rent was an option that I just refused to explore. Instead, I called my mother who resided in Washington State to see how she could be of assistance. Thankfully, she was completely overjoyed at the prospect of keeping her grandbaby for the entire summer while I got myself together and us into a permanently safer space. Prior to hanging up the phone, she committed to flying out in two weeks. I hadn't been this happy in quite some time. It seemed as though nothing in the world could steal my joy, except for the call I received from Jada...
"Shi Shi, please don't hang up!" She begged. I'll make it quick.
"Girl! What do you want!" I demanded angrily.
In my mind, there was nothing else to talk about. She got her "man" so she should be happy, right?. Instead, I could hear that she had been crying which sparked my attention. Not because I cared, more-so because I was nosy.
"This has nothing to do with me wanting to be with Jeremy, okay. I'm done with him!"
"Okaaaaaaay, so again, what do you want? What else could it be about?"
"Girl, well first off have you seen or talked to him lately?" Jada probed.
"I'm about to hang up..." I responded dryly.
"Okay, wait! Please! I just lost custody of my daughter! It's really NOT about him and I! It's about what he's done to my daughter!" She sobbed.
My heart sank at the various thoughts of what could have happened...
YOU ARE READING
Fault
Non-Fiction"If you leave me, I will kill you," he said. This is how my story started. I left him 7 months ago, he'll swear we never parted. Recollections of such memories just brings my eyes to tears, it's the most pain I've ever experienced in my 21 years...t...
