"Hey, Spence! Ya know, for a minute it seemed like you were avoiding me. But now from the looks of it, you've just been hiding in the gym," I said, flirtatiously squeezing his bicep. "It's been a while though, so what's up? ...missed you..."
The fact that he was noticeably more buff caused me to blush in genuine attraction. What's more, along with my compelling and vulnerable admission, came a bright and inviting smile eagerly awaiting reciprocation. Now, surely my alluring personality would be enough to warrant his forgiveness. No doubt my charming demeanor would swiftly override the "I-should-know-better" sector of his brain, which is customarily backed by logic. In my mind, this was the perfect strategy! However, to say my plan backfired was a gross understatement.
"Listen, I'm done with your s**t, okay! I don't even know why you're talkin' to me right now!" Spencer said in a severe and calloused tone. He took a step back and pulled his arm away in an exaggerated fashion. The unnatural distance and slightly elevated volume of his voice caused a few students to stop and stare.
"Okay...wait a minute," I chuckled. "I'm totally confused here..."
"Still confused, huh? Clearly! Nothing has changed for you...but for me it has. I'm happy! Happier than I've ever been...without you and your constant drama...show's over, sweetie!" He said while taking a bow.
Never in my life had I felt so embarrassed...so...rejected. This reaction wasn't due to the fact that my feelings were genuinely hurt, but it was more-so because those steeled and heartless words were coming from HIM, in front of everybody! Although I was proud of his firm decision to not take my s**t, my pride wouldn't allow me to go out like that.
"Real cute Spencer," I said, slow clapping. "You're standing here acting like it's a surprise that I'm talking to you, but you just..."
"I just what? Smiled and nodded at you? Nah, I saw a REAL friend of mine standing behind you. That was for him!"
"Ha! You're such a liar!" I laughed hysterically, before lowering my voice to a stern whisper. "You know damn well that was for me. It's cool though! But, you can save this "tired" and "fed-up" act for someone who doesn't know you like I do. Now, I'm not gonna continue to make a scene here, but just know it ain't over! Matter of fact, call me when you're done acting!" I asserted before walking off, leaving him speechless.
Little did Spencer know, he was fighting an uphill battle. It's hard to manipulate someone who isn't mentally or emotionally invested. But...he still got a B+ for the effort.
After walking away from the "drama," a degree of guilt and irritation began to fill my spirit. Accepting my fault in the ordeal was something I could readily admit to, but could HE? WOULD HE EVER? He wasn't so perfect either! Again, just because he's a "good guy" doesn't automatically make him the right guy for ME...and, just because we were close didn't mean he could apply some expectation or unspoken claim on me when weren't in a relationship! Playing off his naiveté may have been morally wrong, but unlike those previously in my life, the end goal was never to leave him hurting. Truth be told HE knew it too, that's why I was certain that he would call...well, eventually.
* * * * * *
The remainder of the afternoon was light and enjoyable. As a fete of my newfound direction and positive disposition, I decided to stop by a local market to gather items for a nice family dinner. I was almost tempted to invite Spencer just to be funny, but I didn't get that immediate callback I was hoping for. It wasn't until I got to the register that his text notification came through reading, "I can't stand you! Everything about you is wrong and you know it!" His words were rather harsh, but the glaring transparency in them sent a different message.
"Yep, he still loves me..." I laughed while exiting the shopping center. I loved him too in a way.
While attempting to text back and cut through the parking lot, I was nearly run over by an angry driver hurling expletives. The PG-13 version of what was said directed me to put my phone down and pay attention whenever moving cars were around. There was no getting upset because technically he was right. However, as I jumped back, I knocked over an elderly gentleman making his way into the store. The familiar-looking man was finely dressed in his Sunday best and despite the circumstances, wore a gentle smile to match.
As I helped him to his feet, he gleefully recognized me straight away. It took a minute to recollect his name, but the person before me was none other than Jeremy's former boss. His extreme cheerfulness rang slightly odd considering we'd only seen each other in passing, and those encounters were extremely rare and brief. Nonetheless, we continued to swap superficial pleasantries, then he encouraged me to visit the church. In return, I happily accepted, knowing damn well that would never happen. I just figured, why not keep the conversation positive and light?
"Well, it was so nice running into you Mr. Tolliver, maybe I'll see you this Sunday!" I lied, holding my unwavering and vibrant smile.
"Okay, well just make sure you and Jeremy remain civil with one another in the meantime. We don't need any more confusion in the mix now do we?" He returned. "...and tell him if he needs a ride since he doesn't have his car yet, I'd be more than happy to pick you both up if I have to."
"Wow, I'm sorry, sir," I said modestly. "I guess you haven't heard the news about him being in jail..."
"Oh, no darling, I bailed him out this morning, remember?" He said with a pause, slightly cocking his head to the right. "He said you already knew about it..."
The terrifying words reverberating from his mouth stole the wind from my own. All sound was now muted by the ringing of my ears, and the fierce thrashing of my heart could be felt in the breadth of my temples. I was anxious...angry, but, more than anything, I wanted answers!
"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!" I whooped.
His eyes nearly ejected out of their sockets, as I watched him struggle to find the words...
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Fault
Non-Fiction"If you leave me, I will kill you," he said. This is how my story started. I left him 7 months ago, he'll swear we never parted. Recollections of such memories just brings my eyes to tears, it's the most pain I've ever experienced in my 21 years...t...
