POTION ✔

Epilogue

Six years later

To my beloved Ariana,

I'm sorry if it took me years to write to you. Hindi ako sigurado kung naaalala mo pa ba ako pero ako si Isabella, yung mangkukulam na nagbigay sayo ng potion. Ang totoo niyan ay hindi naman talaga ako mangkukulam at sigurado akong alam mo nang hindi rin totoo ang potion na ibinigay ko sa'yo. Isa lang iyan sa mga kasalanan na nagawa ko sa'yo at humihingi ako ng tawad. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko uumpisahan sayo pero iku-kwento ko nalang sayo ang naging buhay ko at marahil ay nagtataka ka kung bakit ako sumulat sayo.

I was an orphan and I got pregnant once. Yun nga lang ay tinakbuhan ako ng lalaking nakabuntis sa akin. I've never seen him since then at nalaman ko nalang na namatay ito dahil sa isang aksidente. Hindi ako nakapag-aral at wala akong ibang trabaho maliban sa pagiging isang komadrona kaya hindi ko alam kung paano ko bubuhayin ang anak ko nang mag-isa. I even thought of getting rid of my child pero hindi ako ganong kasamang tao. Hindi ko kayang patayin ang sariling kong anak.

I also have cancer but I was living alone, no relatives to live with and take care of me. I even gave birth alone to a beautiful little girl. It was a very hard labor but it was all paid off when I saw her. I think I saw an angel the moment my eyes set on my child, she was the most beautiful thing I have ever laid my eyes on but I doesn't change the fact that I cannot support my child. It's only been days since I gave birth and I was already struggling with keeping my child alive. Kaya napilitan akong ipalit ang sarili kong anak sa namatay na anak ng babaeng pinaanak ko.

This woman's child was already dead even before the child came out from her mother's womb. The mother didn't know about this for she lost consciousness after her labor. Her husband was devastated saying his wife can't lose another child. So I offered the husband a deal. I gave him my child with the promise that he'd take care of her like their own. The husband took this secret to his grave. Mahirap na desisyon iyon sa akin pero kailangan kong gawin dahil gusto kong magkaroon ng magandang buhay ang anak ko kahit na ang ibig sabihin nito ay hindi ko siya kasama. Malala na ang sakit ko pero ang ikinakatakot ko ay ang maiwang mag-isa ang anak ko kapag nawala na ako. Sa paglipas ng mga taon ay sinubaybayan ko ang paglaki ng anak ko. She grew up to be a beautiful and smart girl. Kasabay din nito ang paglala ng sakit ko.

Ariana, you are that girl. You are my child and I'm sorry for hiding behind shadows for years. I am a coward and I am glad that you didn't end up like me. I wasn't proud of what I have done but I am happy that you ended up in a good family and a great mother. You deserve all the love that she had given and I'm sorry if I couldn't give you the same. I am ashamed of myself. I hope that one day you'd forgive me. That is all I ask for.

Patawarin mo ako kung hindi na kita nakuhang mabisita at makita bago ka umalis ng bansa. I was very sick and while I was writing this letter, I knew that I only have little time left. I wrote this letter to tell you the truth if ever I couldn't tell it to you in person and if you are reading it now, that means I'm already in a better place. I cannot leave this world without telling you the truth. Again, forgive me if we couldn't be together. Just remember that I've always loved you. I've always longed to feel you in my arms and call you my child. Please live a joyful life and I wish you happiness always. Just know that I am proud of you. I love you.