Citrus and Wine | Jung Jaehyun

Chapter 11

"Jaehyun."

"No, I'm tired of sugar-coating things for you. I clearly told you to stay the fuck away from him, but you don't listen."

"How am I supposed to trust you? You always act like I'm in your way, you're always an asshole to me, and I'm supposed to believe you care about me?"

"I can't believe you. Why is everything about you? Why are you so fucking selfish, do you really think the world revolves around you?" he yelled, "Because I have news for you, it doesn't."

"I am not selfish." Your voice cracked, and tears threatened to fall down your face.

"Yes. Yes, you are." He scoffed. "I can't believe I even thought about asking you out." He whispered, low enough for you not to hear, before leaving to his room.

"Y/n, He didn't mean that..." Rose tried calming you, knowing things like this always trigger you.

"No Rose, he did." You whispered as the tears slide down your cheeks. "He meant it. I am selfish."

"Y/n-"

"I will go out, please don't look for me." You said and grabbed your car keys.

"Y/n you can't drive like this." She stood up to follow behind you.

"Rose, please, just let me be." You a said and walked away, leaving Rose and Jaehyun behind.

You drove to the pier a few blocks away, there was a spot near the lighthouse where you would always go when you needed to be alone. You sat with your back pressing of the light house's wall giving you a full view of the sea. You took a deep breath before letting a strangled sob. A few tears becoming a lot. Jaehyun was right, you were selfish, you never listened to anyone else but yourself. No wonder your family hates you. You love being miserable, cause you make yourself feel this way. You seek things that make you unhappy. You are the only one responsible for feeling this way. Not Jaehyun. Not Johnny. Not your sister. Not your father. But you.

All your life you had blamed your misfortune on your father, but if you were strong enough you wouldn't have to suffer for something that happened so long ago. It had been ages since you last saw him, but his words were engraved in your head. Every single one of his insults played on your mind repeatedly 24 hours a day.

You couldn't understand why Jaehyun's words always seemed to hurt you, you've never had this problem before. Words would only trigger you when they came from someone close to you, someone important, but Jaehyun was not important to you. You hated him, cause he was right.

"Y/n?" a soft voice said, making you look up. You've seen him before.

"Do I know you?" you asked trying to place him somewhere in your mind.

"We've met each other once. I'm Mark, Jaehyun's friend." He said. Great, more Jaehyun. "Can I sit here?" he pointed to the spot next to you.

"Of course, yeah.." you nodded.

He sat next to you, he was quiet, but the silence was not awkward, at least not for you. He shifted and hesitated to turn and talk to you.

"Did," he started. "Did Johnny do anything to you?"

"Ah, no. Not that I know of..." you said and flashed him a sad smile.

"Jaehyun cares about you a lot." He blurted before he could stop himself, earning a soft chuckle from you.

"He doesn't."

"Why do you say that?" he asked, interested in what Jaehyun had done to make you think otherwise. "If you don't want to talk about it, I understand."

"it's okay, when someone cares about you they show it. Jaehyun has never shown any signs of caring, he doesn't care about me, he pities me." You sighed and continued talking. "Plus, to care about someone you must know the first, he knows nothing about me." Mark nodded and looked down at his fiddling hands.

"You seem like a nice person." He said, his cheeks turning a soft shade of pink.

"You're the first person to think that." You said quietly.

"You're really pretty too, no wonder Jae- Johnny likes you." You laughed out loud, Mark following.

"And you're the only sane one from your friend group. You're funny."

"Jaehyun's right." You hummed in confusion. "About... Johnny. He's not good for you, or for anyone to be honest."

"Yeah... I have my doubts too." You looked up. "You should leave, Jaehyun wouldn't like me talking to you."

"Why?" he questioned.

"I don't know."

"I don't care. I told you, you seem like a nice person." He stared at you with doe eyes. "I've seen you volunteer at the shelter where I work."

"That doesn't mean I'm a good person, Mark."

"May I ask... if Johnny didn't make you cry, who did?" he innocently asked.

"Jaehyun." For a moment he thought that maybe, you had feelings for Jaehyun. "He yelled at me, but I guess I deserved it."

"I'm pretty sure that, whatever he said, he didn't mean it." He said, his hand shyly touching yours, his thumb gently stroking the back of your hand. The sudden contact making you blush.

"I know he did."

Rose knocked on Jaehyun's door.

"Go away, y/n," he yelled.

"It's Rose..." he slowly opened the door, peeking through the little opening. Rose took a glance at him, his hair disheveled and his eyes were a little puffy and red, she assumed because he was sleeping.

"What do you want?" you whispered.

"I heard what you said, about y/n..." he looked at her puzzled. "About asking her out." His face dropped, and he swallowed hard.

"Don't worry about that, I don't feel the same way anymore." He said. "She has Johnny now."