icebreaker | nolan patrick

26

Fiona
Nassau, Bahamas
|| three years later ||

I never thought that one year after graduating college, I would be standing on a beach, rehearsing for my best friend's wedding. Carter popped the question to Ashley a little over a year ago, and now their wedding day is tomorrow.

The rehearsal dinner ended, and now we were heading back to the bride's suite to do pre-wedding preparations. Maddie and I had everything from chocolate strawberries to face masks stocked up in the room, but first it was time for manicures.

We called Uber's for the seven bridesmaids. Ash chose me as her maid of honor, Maddie and Katie as bridesmaids, and some cousins, her little sister, and some other friends.

Our crowd all got our fingers and toes done and we all headed back to our hotel. We left the underage girls in the room with a movie on and all headed to the poolside bar to get some drinks and hangout.

Ash and I both ordered strawberry daiquiris and everyone else got piña coladas. Maddie texted some of the groomsmen to meet up down here, but they said they would be a bit because they were still waiting on some to arrive, which is understandable because a lot of them are flying from their hometowns since it's the off-season.

We just mingled for about thirty minutes before we heard some clammed coming from the lobby. Soon after that, they began approaching.

"Shit," Ash muttered, I looked up, "Fi, I forgot something in the room, come with me to get it."

She strongly pulled my arm away from the bar and took me into the hallway of our suite. I took out my key card, beginning to scan it.

"Wait, I didn't actually forget anything, I just forgot to mention something," She said cautiously, "Or should I say, someone."

I gave her a look, trying to read her face.

"Okay?" I said, clearly very confused.

"Nolan is one of Carter's groomsmen."

My breath hitched in the back of my throat. Of course he is. How could I not make that connection? Ash was always so weird about giving me the list of groomsmen.

When I say I haven't seen Nolan since the night of our fight when we broke up, I'm not exaggerating. It was hard at first, avoiding him. We had mutual friends, we went to the same parties, we hung around the same places. I haven't been to a single Flyers game since we broke up. I haven't had a boyfriend since the night we broke up. I've spent half of my life for the past few years, just trying to figure out who I'm supposed to be without him.

I know, that sounds absolutely pathetic, but until you feel what real love is like, you really can't understand it. Nolan was my best friend and the connection we had was something I knew I would never find again.

Sure, I've kissed guys, had meaningless one night stands, had guys that I would talk to for months on end, but I could never make it official with anyone. I was constantly looking for the same spark that I felt that night I met Nolan, but nothing ever compared to it.

No one could ever make me feel the way he did. Despite the way our relationship ended, Nolan made me feel like I was so loved. He made me feel like I was the only girl that had ever crossed his mind. He had such a busy schedule, yet he always made time to make me feel special. His love was something I soon learned would make the next three years of my life a living hell.

I would slyly ask Carter how he was doing, trying not to be too nosy, trying to avoid Nolan finding out. His responses were never detailed, just a casual "he's doing fine," or "I don't see him much anymore besides games and practice."

There was one night I was feeling particularly brave, a little bit of vodka supporting that, and I texted Travis. The conversation went along the lines of, "How is the fucking asshole that broke my heart doing?" TK, being the decent human being he is, knew that telling me straight off the bat that he was miserable and hadn't left his apartment in months for anything except for practice and games would not be a good idea. He told me he had moved on and I should too, which was good advice, but I didn't take it.

"Are you okay, Fi?" Ashely asked me.

I hadn't noticed the tears pooling in my eyes while I was deep in my thoughts and memories.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm good," I reassured, sniffling and blinking away my tears.

I took a deep breath and strode down to back down to the bar. My chest tightened and my entire body felt like it was frozen when so caught sight of that thick brunette head of hair I hadn't laid eyes on in years.

I swallowed, my strawberry daiquiri threatening to come back up my throat. I felt like my heart had been ripped out all over again when his bright blue eyes locked into me, the small smile on his face instantaneously disappearing. We stared at each other for much longer than we should have, some others noticing it, tapping the people next to them to point it out.

I mentally debated going into my room, packing my stuff up, and catching the first flight back to Philly that I could find. I quickly scratched that idea when I remembered my best friend was getting married tomorrow.

"Ash, Ash, what do I do?" I whispered to her, tapping her and grabbing her arm.

"Just pretend he's not there. Don't worry," She comforted, rubbing my back, which helped calm my breathing.

My heart rate was at an all time high and I felt like I could run a marathon due to the adrenaline pulsing from my body.

Throughout the night, Nolan and I made eye contact an estimated amount of thirty times per minute. I couldn't take my eyes away from him, or my brain.

He was still the shy, sensitive guy I feel in love with, but he looked like he had aged more than three years. He no longer had shoulder length hair. I was now brushed over his head and gelled down. His shoulders had somehow broadened and his jaw was even more prominent. His arms looked like they were nearly bursting out of his T-shirt and my attraction to him was even stronger than when I was a 19-year-old college student.

Being deprived of seeing this man that was the center of my happiness for so many months had only made me want to go get our own room more. Only Nolan could make me literally feel like I was on cloud nine from a mere touch.

I decided that I could no longer torture myself, just staring and gawking at him. I said my goodnight to the girls and guys who were still left at the bar and went for the elevator.

Walking away, I took a deep breath, wanting to cry. I held back my emotions, remembering that this was all about Ashley. I couldn't make this ordeal a big dramatic thing, not wanting to take anything away from her special day. I pressed the button, hearing the machinery of the elevator wake up.

"Fiona?"

——

sorry this took so long i'm back in school again and i want to CRY

sorry for mistakes it's too late for me to spend time editing this a hahahaha

goodnight it's 2 am and i didn't do my homework