icebreaker | nolan patrick

28

Fiona
Nassau, Bahamas

I tried my best, but absolutely failed at not balling my eyes out during the wedding. The water works started the second we started getting Ashley into the dress, and never ended. I began to full on sob when I heard the crack in Carter's voice while reciting his vows.

"I didn't know how much I needed you until I met you and I'm eternally grateful for the happiness you've brought into my life."

It was one of the most beautiful weddings I've ever seen. The shining of the setting sun and breeze blowing past made it feel so special.

"I can't believe you're married," I mumbled, embracing Ash and still crying.

"I have a fucking husband!" She shouted, "But you'll always be my lover."

I laughed when she whispered that to me, looking around and catching sight of a particularly beautiful pair of blue eyes talking to TK.

After having a nice conversation with Ashley's parents and then congratulating Carter and his family, I went to the bar at the cocktail party and ordered a piña colada.

Hearing someone clear their throat from behind me, I turned around. I immediately locked eyes on Nolan. My breath hitched. I hate the fact that all he has to do is look at me and my entire body freezes. He has this power over me, he always has, that I cannot seem pinpoint but all I know is that I can never control myself around him.

"Beautiful wedding, eh?"

There was pain in his voice, and I knew exactly why. He was thinking the same thing I was.

That could have been us.

The fact that if Nolan and I didn't have that fight, or really the miscarriage, I could be the one changing my last name and wearing a gold ring around my finger, makes me heart physically ache. I know for a fact that I'm in love with him and I never stopped loving him, and I think the feeling is mutual.

The truth is, I'm scared. We broke up for a reason, a reason that wasn't necessarily out of the ordinary for him and it wasn't his first time. Obviously, it's been three years and he's not the same 20-year-old rookie hockey player he was when I met him, but cheating can be hard habit to break.

"Absolutely gorgeous. I'm so happy for them," I smiled, thinking about how happy Ashley is right now.

The bartender set my drink out, asking my room number. Before I could answer, Nolan did for me. I gave him a questioning look. He might have matured in those three years, but he never lost his generosity.

"You didn't have to do that."

"Fiona, you know damn well I can't pass up an opportunity to pay for a gorgeous girls drink," He said.

My face flushed and I looked down. He still had his charm. Him saying that gave me this giddy feeling. The release of dopamine in my head also gave me the bravery of considering just kissing him there. The pregame shots I took earlier probably contributed to that as well.

"But seriously, I didn't think it was possible for you to be more beautiful," Nolan said, stepping closer to me and looking down.

"Thank you," I choked out, "You look good too. I like the hair."

His hair was still long, but he definitely grew out of the "flow" phase. It was obviously typical among hockey players to have obnoxiously long hair, and Nolan pulled it off pretty well, but a near 24-year-old man should not have hair down to his shoulders just win a competition with his friends.

"Yeah, my mom yelled at me and told me I looked like a homeless man," He laughed.

"Aw, how is she doing? I haven't talked to her in so long."

"She's great, trying to cope with the fact that all of us are moved out and it's just the two of them still left. Aimee isn't too far from home though," He explained, then mumbled, "They miss you a lot."

I smiled. His family is the sweetest bunch of people ever. I never personally met them but we did FaceTime a few times, and Aimee and Maddie are still loyal followers on my Instagram.

"Lily talks about you a lot, too," I said shyly, "Mostly asking if I'm sure you don't have a younger brother."

Talking to Nolan like this felt weird. We weren't nearly as awkward as before, but making small talk was something I hadn't done with him in a long time. He still had the same introverted, shy personality he did before, but he had a lot more confidence now. I'm sure it has something to do with how he's doing hockey-wise. I restrained myself from looking at any articles that may have contained his name because I knew just seeing his name would make it impossible to get him off my mind.

"How's Sydney's kid? Zoey, right?" Nolan asked.

"She's doing great, just turned two a few months ago," I responded, a little surprised he even knew about her.

"I still remember the night she told us. You were so happy," He said.

I felt a twinge of sadness hearing him say that. I could tell he did too. The fact that Zoey might've had a little cousin too, breaks my heart. I don't think Nolan and I were mature enough or ready to be parents at that time, but I know we would have made it work. He would have been such a great dad. He has such a sensitive heart, and it hurts me to think that he's been just as sad I have.

"I wish I could see her more, but she really is the cutest little thing," I stated, pouting, thinking about how much I miss her.

"Your mom friended me on Facebook a little while ago, that's how I know about her. She is really cute."

We stood there, a half-awkward silence weighing over us. Nolan just stared down at his feet, while I played with the skirt of my dress.

It hasn't even been 24-hours since we saw each other for the first time, but something tells me that unexpected meeting this wasn't an accident.

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i'm sorry i haven't updated in so long school is kicking my ass

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