icebreaker | nolan patrick

25

Fiona
Center City, Philadelphia

"What the fuck is going on, Nolan?"

He looked up at me, then quickly returning his head to the same position.

"Fuck," Nolan whispered under his breath. It was silent for a few more seconds. I was waiting for him to say something, hoping he would say something.

"What is it, Nolan? Did I do something?" I said, more frustrated than angry.

"No, Fiona. You didn't do anything. It's just me on some dumb bullshit and I wasn't thinking."

Wasn't thinking.

I really, really hope that he's not saying what I think he is.

"What are you saying?" I asked quietly.

"Fi, I don't know. I was just drunk and I had a lot on my mind and—"

"Who is she?" I whispered.

The apartment went silent. I decided that if he didn't have the balls to tell me who he cheated on me with, I had no business still being there. I started towards the door.

"No, Fiona, don't leave," He pleaded.

"Why, Nolan? If you can't tell me who the fuck you cheated on me with, why should I stay? Give me a reason," I nearly shouted. He was quiet again.

"You know what? Fuck you. Fuck you and all of your fucking lies. I can't believe I trusted you again. No only that, I can't believe that you would break it again. You are a real fucking asshole, you know that?"

At this point, I was so heated. I wanted to leave, but I had started something and I'm going to finish it.

"Fiona—"

"No, Nolan. You know that I've been to hell and back in the last few months. You knew that, and you still hurt me! Do you not have a brain?"

"It hurt me too," Nolan said almost inaudibly.

"So that's what this is about? The fact that I had a miscarriage? Did the fact that my body couldn't take care of a fucking baby make you stop loving me?"

"I still fucking love you, Fiona! Meeting your family put so much stress on me and I had so much going on, I just wanted to let loose and get drunk." He took in a deep breath, " I guess I just drank too much. There was this chick that was hanging onto me the entire night and when she realized I didn't have a single brain cell left in my body, she took advantage of it. I honestly don't think I even remember her name and—"

"Oh cause that makes this so much better! You cheated on me, and you're being a fucking douche bag and don't even remember her name. You're making yourself a great case here, Nolan, really." I stated sarcastically.

Tears were streaming down my face and my words were jumbled. My voice had begun to disappear due to the yelling, and the building stuffiness of my nose due to the crying.

"We haven't had sex in two months, Fiona. Two months. I was confused. I didn't know what was going on and I didn't know how to feel or what to do. I didn't know if maybe you didn't feel anything between us after what happened or—I don't know. I was just confused."

"Being confused is not and excuse, Nolan. You should have fucking talked to me."

I was so angry and frustrated at this point. He was trying to justify his actions by being confused or hurt. I was fucking hurt by this too.

"I felt like if I brought it up you would just get mad! Every time I tried to start something you would get upset and leave!" Nolan said, putting his arms up.

"Is this really about the fact that I wasn't ready to have sex after having a fucking miscarriage? You just though, 'oh, if my girlfriend won't have sex with me, I'll just go mindlessly fuck some other girl who's begging for it!" Is that really what you thought would make this situation better?"

He didn't say anything. He realized he fucked up and didn't have a fucking excuse for this one. So, I left.

I opened the door, throwing the key that Nolan gave to me behind me on the floor. Slamming the door as hard as I could, I started running down the hallway, calling an Uber as I did.

"Fiona, wait!"

I didn't answer. My Uber was three minutes away and I was dreading those three minute of Nolan bugging me to come back upstairs so we can talk things out. All I wanted in that moment was to leave and have space.

"Nolan, I don't want to talk to you! You're pissing me off!"

"Why do you never want to fucking open up? All the time I tried to get us back on track and all the times I tried to talk to you? I wanted to save this so bad!" His shouts echoed through the parking garage.

"Nolan, just face it, you didn't try to fix a damn thing!" I was starting to cry again, thinking about all the times I doubted us and our relationship.

"You're a fucking brick wall, Fiona! I feel like I don't even know you anymore. After all this, I don't even feel like you're the girl I fell in love with."

My heart shattered when he said that. I had been through so much in the past few weeks and our relationship just wasn't my first priority.

"You're fucking selfish, Nolan. That's all. Even though you knew I was hurting and that I was going through a lot, you didn't care. You just cared about the fucking sex!"

Nolan looked at me like I had just killed a puppy. I've never seen fire and anger stronger in his eyes.

"I wasn't fucking using you! You're a fucking bitch for saying or even thinking that!" Nolan yelled, his rosy cheeks growing redder in frustration, "I honestly can't believe you just said that."

"I hope you have a nice fucking life, Nolan. Try not to fuck it up with someone else, if there's another girl out there that would fall for a piece of shit like you."

My Uber pulled up and I opened the door, stopping when I heard a string of words come out of his mouth.

"I can't believe I wasted seven months of my life on someone like you," He muttered.

"I hope you remember what she sounded like, it was probably the first time you've heard a girl actually orgasm in those seven months you wasted."

I slammed the door behind me, feeling proud of myself for saying that. It was far from the truth, but who am I to not make him doubt himself after all the shit he said.

Fuck, what did I do?

——
i'm sorry, it had to happen.

this isn't the end i promise lol there is much to come

goodnight to all and to all a goodnight 🌙