heart strings

116

I've been reading this postcard for two weeks now. Over and over again.

"Dear October I hope you remember me. I've been trying to get the courage to write this to you for over a year now. I'd really like you to come see me. I'm actually in the L.A. county prison. I know you probably hate me. But please come see me. Love Jacob your father."

Seriously?

He wants me to come see him?! After the shit Carol put me through he can piss right off!

"Hey baby girl. I brought you a club sandwich."

"No mayo?"

"No mayo, extra pickles and cheddar cheese."

"Ugh I love you."

"Oh and curly fries."

"I love you even more now."

"I'll go grab you a water."

He hands me the box and I just tear into this sandwich. I swear I feel like I haven't eaten in a week.

But in reality I just ate like two hours ago. This little jelly bean is a little piggy.

"Still reading that baby?"

"Yeah. I don't want to see him at all but."

"Your curiosity is getting the better of you?"

"Of course!"

"October it's your decision. If you don't want to see him I'll understand but if you do I'll be right there next to you."

I just start crying out of nowhere.

Yes the hormones are getting worse. I'm at the horny part but everything makes me cry part.

I cried yesterday because Blaze wouldn't give me back his tennis ball! Not to mention my whole sock fiasco!

Who cries over socks!

And of course Dominic found my socks and even put them on for me.

Dominic's been making the guys come over so they can write and record downstairs. So just in case I need him for anything.

It's really sweet but I'm starting to get annoyed. And I hate that part of these damn hormones.

I hate that I'm getting emotional and pissed at the stupidest thing. Dominic just keeps telling me it's normal and he can take the abuse.

"Hey Halloween!"

"Of hey Dimitri, hello my bestie Lynn."

"How's my niece doing."

"Oh geez not you too!"

"We both agree with Dominic. You're having a girl."

"I'm gonna disappoint a lot of people if this little greedy fetus grows a pee pee."

We all laugh.

"Come on Dimitri let's go downstairs. Baby if you need anything."

"I've got Lynn. Don't worry about it baby. Go downstairs and go do what you do best."

"I'm not fucking my cousin."

Oh my god really?!

"Ok the second best thing you do."

"Ok miss red face."

He kisses my nose and goes downstairs with Dimitri.

"How's all the baby growing doing!"

"It's going good. I think I finally stopped having morning sickness."

"Oh that's a big plus."

"Oh you have no idea. A couple weeks ago I was in the bathroom for over an hour. Luckily Dominic was right there. Holding my hair and rubbing my back."

"At least Dominic's being very attentive to you."

"Unfortunately I'm getting to the part where every little thing piss me off easily. Oh speaking of pissing me off guess what?"

"They breed pygmy giraffes?"

"Oh that'd be so cute! But no. My biological dad sent me a postcard!"

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah look."

I hand her the postcard.

"That asshole! He just thinks you're gonna go see him? After everything you went through with Carol!?"

"I'm curious Lynn."

I hear her sigh loudly.

"I would be too actually. What's Dominic think?"

"He's behind whatever decision I make. If I choose no he's ok with it but if I decided to go see him, he'll be there."

"Are you?"

"I think I might."

It's been a couple days and I've made the decision to go see Jacob.

"Baby it's ok if you don't want to go do this."

"I know it is. But I would like to hear his side of everything. See how accurate Carol was."

"And if he turns out like her?"

"Well with the experience with her I'll know a lot sooner."

"That's true."

We both get dressed and go downstairs.

"Do you want me to go with you sweetheart?"

"Thank you for offering mom but I'll be ok with just Dominic."

"Ok. When you get back I'll have a nice dinner for you and my little granddaughter."

Yes my mom has jumped on the it's a girl bandwagon.

Dominic and I arrive at the jail and I let them know who we're here to see.

We get taken to a room with a table and chairs. Of course my nerves are starting to act up. I feel Dominic's hand rubbing my back.

I hear a loud beep then the door opens. A guard comes in with a guy. He sits down on the other side of the table. He looks up at me.

"Hi October."