Tom Holland Imagines

18 | Together

*WARNING: If you're sensitive to miscarriages, don't read this chapter!* 

Your index finger traced over the edge of the crib you and Tom had built not even a week ago. He had messed up the bars, but with a little bit of help of his father, he managed to get it together before you had finished making dinner. 

The bedding was perfect. No creases in sight and it was spotless. The soft grey of the sheets perfectly matched the coral pink mattress cover. The pink stuffed fish Nikki had gifted you on your baby shower lay in the corner of the bed, but without the small arms of your baby to hold them, it looked sad and abandoned.

You turned around, picking up the baby monitor you had installed the night before the day you lost everything. Tom had been telling you how excited he was to watch the baby sleep. 

Next to the monitor stood a cupcake built out of spit cloths. Zendaya, Laura Harrier, Angourie Rice, and a couple of other of Tom's female costars from Spider-Man had made it for you along with a lot of other supplies, but you had already put most of them in place. The cupcake was the only thing you hadn't taken apart yet, simply because it was too cute. The pastel blue and pink looked perfect with the pastel yellow and Tom agreed that it would look better on a shelf than in a drawer. You had enough spit cloths anyway. 

"Darling?" you heard your husband's voice behind you and you froze, placing the monitor back on the shelf. You heard his footsteps approach and he placed his hands on your shoulders. "Have you had dinner yet?" he asked softly. 

You shook your head. "I'm not hungry." Your voice was hoarse and it felt like it belonged to someone else. 

"Y/N, you have to eat someth-" Tom started to say, but you cut him off. 

"Don't tell me what to do," you snapped, turning around to face him. You had clearly startled him as he took a step back, removing his hands from your body. 

"Sorry," he mumbled, averting his eyes to the floor. 

You closed your eyes, shaking your head as tears fell. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled," you muttered, your bottom lip heavily trembling. "I know you're hurt too." 

He sighed and you heard a shiver. "Not as much as you." 

"That doesn't matter." You wrapped your arms around his neck and his snaked around your waist, holding you close to his body. 

You woke up to the feeling of a sharp, numbing pain in your abdomen. You fearfully looked down and discovered a dark stain on the mattress. 

You started shaking Tom's arm and he groggily sat up. "Tom, wake up." You couldn't keep your voice from cracking. "I'm bleeding." 

This woke him up. "Bleeding? Wh-" 

"I don't know what's happening. Tom, is it the baby?" you asked him frantically, tears threatening to fall down your cheeks. 

"We're going to the hospital," he said, getting out of the bed and tossing you a sweater. He hurried the two of you to the car and raced to the hospital. 

Twenty minutes later, your doctor told you the news that caused your entire world to collapse. The child that had been growing inside of you for the past seven months was gone. Her heart just stopped beating. Like it had never mattered to anyone. 

The doctor told you that you never could have prevented it, but you had never felt so guilty. Not only had your body failed you, but you had also taken Tom's chance at a first child away from him. You hated yourself. Your body was meant to do one thing and it couldn't even do that. 

You had spent so long waiting for your daughter to arrive. You had thrown a baby shower, a gender reveal party. Hell, even a last trimester party simply because you were so excited to meet her. Tom was the most supportive father you could ever wish for. He talked to the baby every night before you went to sleep and he made sure he was home as much as he could. He had even denied a couple of roles in movies that you were sure he was dreaming of. This only proved to you how committed he was to you and your unborn child. 

After the doctor informed you about your condition, you didn't react. You sat still in the hospital bed, staring at the wall in front of you as tears streamed down your cheeks. No sound, no sobs, no cries. Only a gaping void inside your chest that you knew you could never fill. 

Tom's hand was on your back as the other covered his mouth. Tears leaked from his eyes but his were accompanied by choking sobs that he tried to mute. 

The stinging pain in your abdomen wasn't gone, but it as nothing compared to the pain you felt everywhere else. 

And here you were, trying to live with the fact that you lost your baby. Your daughter. Tom had offered to get rid of everything in the nursery, but you refused, not wanting to erase what your daughter would've had if she were still with you. 

Two months. That's all she had to do. Make it through two more months inside of you until she would be welcomed in the most loving family a child could wish for. Your parents were so excited. She would be the first child of that generation. 

Nikki and Dom had never been so involved in your lives. They came over at least once a week to see if they could help with anything. Dom had helped Tom built everything you would need for your child. Nikki had spent countless evenings at your house to make you dinner when you were too tired to cook a proper meal. She had given you at least a million tips as you were terrified of becoming a mother, but also too excited to express in words. 

Tom's brothers, Sam, Harry, Paddy, they helped you out whenever they were available and they couldn't stop talking about how excited they were to meet their little niece. They talked about how they were going to show Tom's movies to her when she was older, simply to point out how ridiculous her father was when he was younger. 

"Tom?" you asked softly, never letting go of his body. 

"Yeah?" he asked, his voice barely audible. 

"Why does it hurt so much?" Your throat burned as tears threatened to fall, but you managed to hold it together. 

You heard him suck in a breath. "We lost our daughter, Y/N. There's no pain like that." 

You looked up to hold back the salty tears. "How can we ever get through this?" 

A sigh was heard and the two of you fell silent. "Together."