JEALOUSY IN DEATH

36.

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36. Desiree

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Desiree went back to work on Tuesday and Bobo was literally jumping from excitement when he saw her. He was like a cute little puppy and she couldn't stop smiling along with him. He'd spent few days with his grandmother and he told her everything that happened between his dad and his uncle when they had a cooking competition. Lucas had left the house immediately she arrived and it was better, for her at least.

Bobo took her to his room and when she sat on his bed, he produced some wrapped chocolates. "I saved some for you."

"Thanks, you're the best."

"Dad said I can't call you mom."

"He's right. Bobo, you have a mom so it's not right calling me that."

"I know but she's in heaven."

"Heaven?" Desiree hand stilled as she was about to pop a chocolate piece into her mouth.

"Yes, but I still talk to her."

"Wait a second. If your mom is in heaven, how do you talk to her?"

"She comes around. I told her about my new glasses."

Bobo was freaking her out and she didn't know what to do. If his mom was indeed in heaven it simply meant she was dead. How could he communicate with a dead person?

"Bobo, you know it's very wrong to lie to me."

"I'm not lying, ask daddy."

Desiree rubbed her arms as goosebumps formed on her flesh. He had to be making things up or joking. No one could talk to the dead, it was simply absurd and impossible.

"Do you like the chocolate?"

She smiled and ate the piece in her hand. "It's delicious, where did you get it?"

"My grandpa." Desiree gave him one of the chocolates. "Dee, don't worry you can still be my friend and I love you."

"Aww, you're so cute. Come here."

Bobo giggled as she hugged him and he gave her a noisy peck then blushed when she smiled.

"You won't go to heaven also, will you?"

"No, not anytime soon." She hoped.

"But if you go, you can talk to my mum and the electric fishes."

"Sure."

"And then you'll come back."

Desiree nodded from lack of what to say. He'd talked about the fishes in the same context as his mom in heaven. Bobo had accepted their demise without questions and she was starting to think it was because he'd experienced loss before. It wasn't new to him, hence the lack of tears for the fishes. He probably thought they'd come to talk to him. Maybe, he wasn't making things up after all. She sighed and stood. She didn't know what to think so she pushed everything to the back of her mind before it drove her crazy.

"I told dad about the farm and he got me tools and seeds."

Bobo was jumping from topic to topic that it was so hard for her to catch up. She'd forgotten about the visit to the farm and him talking about wanting one of his.

Desiree moved from the bed. "Let's go downstairs. I need to check what your dad bought so we can get started on the farm."

"Awesome."

Bobo held her hand and swung it as they went downstairs. Desiree checked the kitchen and saw colorful plastic farming tools with some grains of corn. They went to the backyard and she took her phone along. She went online and got a detailed explanation on how to plant corn.

Desiree and Bobo squatted as they loosened the loamy soil. They made four ridges and Desiree patted the soil with her bare hands before they buried three seeds each in them. Her back was dripping with sweat as they watered the soil. Bobo was making another ridge she didn't ask for when Lucas joined them.

"I see you guys are getting down and dirty."

Desiree dusted the soil off her hands. "Yea."

"Dad, I planted one for you, one for Dee and two for myself."

"Oh, wow. That's brilliant."

"Let's get you cleaned up," Desiree said and Bobo got up.

Lucas went into the house while they washed their hands by the tap outside. They joined him in the kitchen and she saw a box of donuts on the kitchen counter.

"I got some donuts, who's interested?"

"I want two, dad."

Desiree straightened her shirt collar. "I need to get back to the guesthouse, I've something to do."

"Alright, take some donuts with you."

"Thanks, but I'm fine."

Lucas looked at her and shook his head.

"Dad, can I sleep at the guesthouse tonight?"

"No."

"Okay. Love you, Dee."

"I- " She cleared her throat and looked at Lucas.

"You can say it back, there's no crime in loving the boy."

"Love you, too."

She went to the guesthouse and stripped to her underwear then got under the bed to sleep even though the sun was still out. She woke up when she heard a knock at the door, Desiree grabbed a dressing robe and went to the door. Lucas was standing outside holding a basket.

"I got you dinner. Can I come in?"

"Sure, it's your house."

He walked in and went to the kitchen while Desiree remained at the door waiting for him to leave. He came out with a plate of stemming rice and Desiree resisted taking the bowl from him and cleaning it like a glutton. Lucas sighed and dropped the bowl on the table then came towards her. He took her hands and stared into her eyes, Desiree closed them and shook her head. She didn't want him to see her feelings, that would only make him get away with telling her she was trying to steal his kid.

"Please, look at me."

Desiree opened her eyes. "Lucas, I know the boundaries now and I don't want to cross them."

"I just want to talk and apologize."

"I forgive you."

"But you haven't forgotten, I see it every time you look at me. I know what I did was wrong but you have to understand that series of events made me this way."

"I understand."

"You don't."

"I do, but I don't want to be your door mat anymore. You can't keep walking all over me and resenting me for things I've no idea of. I can't take it anymore."

"Dee, I'm so sorry."

"I am too."

"How can I make it better?"

"Trust me. I've told you I'd never hurt your kid and now I'm saying I'd never hurt you also. You just have to believe me."

"I told you I'm trying and I still am. My life isn't easy and it's hard navigating through these ups and downs."

"It's no excuse to treat me like that."

"I know that. I pray a day comes when I can tell you everything."

"Yea, I have to go to bed."

"Desiree, please eat."

"Thanks, I will."

Lucas tried to peck her and she moved her face away from his mouth.

"Goodnight," he said with so much hurt in his eyes and Desiree tried not to feel bad for hurting his feelings.

"Goodnight, boss."

Desiree ate the food on the table and went to bed thinking about what Bobo had told her that afternoon. Her brain was connecting it to the strange things that had happened to her when she fell into a deep slumber.