JEALOUSY IN DEATH

43.

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43. Desiree

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Desiree was back to her old job and it felt different, there was no kick nor excitement this time. She just felt exhausted and unaccomplished all the time. She'd spent the entire week trying to convince herself that this was in fact her dream, it was all she had worked for. Why did she feel awful then? Even though she'd gotten her boss' position, she wasn't contented.

She got the shoes she'd kicked to the corner of the room and put them on. The house was eerily silent and when her brothers had called to invite her out, she'd jumped at the opportunity to get out. Something was missing in her life and it was chaos and noise. Taking care of Bobo was like a disruption to her true self. She didn't always know what would happen the next minute and she'd grown to like that. She missed the noise and warmth that filled the house whenever he got back from school. The kid had made her old life seem so mundane and uneventful.

There was no one to talk to. She had no one showing her the tiniest bit of love like saving her pieces of chocolates or tugging at her locks. She thought about him every minute and worried about Lucas. Did they have dinner regularly? Was Lucas back to being a stay home dad? These kinds of questions swirled around her head and she always hoped that they were okay.

Bobo had not called her since she left. She'd thought Lucas would at least allow him reach out. Desiree cleaned her eyes as she felt tears roll down. She grabbed her purse and left the house. She got to the spot her brothers had chosen and saw them at the parking lot waiting, so they went in together. She drank every last drop of wine that was poured in her glass after they settled in a table.

"Are you okay?" Hanye asked with brotherly concern.

"No."

"What's the matter?"

"I just miss my old job."

"Because of the kid?"

"Yea."

"You can go see him," Sugar reminded her.

"I was fired."

Sugar looked at Hanye. "You told us you quitted."

"I lied."

"Why were you fired?"

"I don't want to get into that right now."

Sugar bristled. "How can you bring up a topic and say you don't want to get into it?"

"PMS," Hanye said.

"I need to get some air."

"Go with her, Hanye."

"Let's just leave her."

Desiree left them and wandered round the mall. She entered a children's clothing store and went to the boys' aisle. She sniffed the clothes as she shifted the hangers around. They didn't smell like Bobo as she'd thought they would and she cleaned the tears from her eyes as she turned back to leave.

"I used to do the same thing when I lost my child," a male voice said behind her and she turned to see a white haired man she'd seen at the check-out point.

"Oh, no. I didn't lose anyone," Desiree explained as she understood what he was saying.

"Still in denial?" He came close to her and hugged her when she started crying again. "Let the tears out, it's better that way."

Desiree cried loudly and sniffed. She didn't bother to correct him as he comforted her. "I just miss him so much."

"I miss mine too. One day after his death, I walked into this store and never left."

"I'm so sorry for your loss."

"It's okay, lady. You have to stay strong."

She nodded. "Okay."

He smiled. "Good. I have to close the store but you can come here tomorrow."

"Thanks a lot."

"It was no problem. We have to look out for one another."

Desiree left the store and blew her noise into a tissue. She sat on one of the benches placed in the long hallway, she couldn't join her brothers yet while looking so distressed.

"Dee!" She heard Bobo's voice and turned to look to make sure she wasn't hallucinating. "Dad, look she's back." He ran towards her and blood rushed to her ears as she saw both Lucas looking wholesome.

"Bobo, come here. I told you she traveled and everyone with dreadlocks isn't Dee, leave the poor lady alone," Lucas scolded and tried to catch his son.

"She's the one."

"Lady, I'm sorry...Dee?" her asked when he really looked at her.

"Told ya."

Desiree stood from the chair and started walking away. He'd lied that she traveled. What was wrong with him?

Lucas reached for her arm. "Dee, wait up."

She turned to him. "What?"

Lucas gave her a glance over and she remembered she wasn't wearing the clothes he was used to seeing her in. "You look amazing- I mean beautiful."

Bobo came to her side and took her hand. "Dee, I saved so many chocolates for you, I knew you would be back. Dad said you can get yours but I didn't want you spending your money."

"Thank you." As if it wasn't bad enough that he'd lied that she traveled, he'd also discouraged his son from being kind to her.

"Now that you're back, will you come to the house? I miss you, Dee."

Desiree remained silent and Lucas dug into one of the bags he was carrying, he gave Bobo a ball to go play with and pulled Desiree to the bench.

"I'm so sorry."

"Yea, you should be."

"Are you okay? Your eyes are swollen."

"I'm fine."

Lucas was sitting right beside her and she didn't know what to do. She wished she could kiss him for the last time but Bobo was looking at them instead of playing with the ball.

Desiree saw her brother approaching and quickly stood up. "I have to go."

Lucas stood also. "See you around."

She left and hurried to meet her brother.

"You were gone for so long. Are you feeling better?"

"Yes."

"Who's the big guy you were talking to?"

"My former boss."

"You lived all alone with a guy like that?"

"Don't do this here, Hanye," she whispered.

Desiree looked back and saw Bobo running towards her, she waited for him to catch up while Hanye looked at her in confusion.

"Dee, you didn't say goodbye to me," he said with hurt in his eyes and her eyes watered as he hugged her knees and started crying.

"What's going on?" Hanye asked.

"I want to go with you, please," he begged.

Lucas joined them and cleared his throat. "Come, Bobo."

"Dad, let's go with her."

"Some other time, we have to leave for grandma's."

"No!" Bobo held on tightly to her legs and Lucas had to forcefully pry his fingers before dragging him to his side.

"Sorry for the embarrassment, we didn't mean to disrupt your date."

Desiree heard the chill behind his statement. "He's my brother," she said as he turned to leave.

Bobo screamed her name as Lucas dragged him away. "Behave." She heard Lucas warn as they left the mall.

"That wasn't weird at all. What happened between you and your boss?"

"Nothing."

"Can you stop that already, please? You've lost the sparkle in your eyes since you left that job so it's obviously not nothing."

"Let's join Sugar."

Sugar looked at them as they sat solemnly in their chair. "Did somebody die?"

"We saw Dee's boss, the one she lived alone with."

"Oh, so what happened?"

"The whole experience was just weird."

"It should be since she slept with him."

"Sugar, she didn't, she wouldn't. The kid was just clingy and the guy looked like he'd fire anyone his kid loved more than him."

"Why would you profile him based off his looks?" Desiree asked in annoyance.

"How does he look?"

"Strong and tall. I'm sure he fights because those biceps, man."

"Does he, Dee?"

"Ask Hanye since he's so good at guessing."

"On a serious note though, if you keep drinking more wine without touching your food, you'll hate yourself tomorrow morning," Hanye directed at her.

"What's wrong with her? Most importantly, should we be concerned?"

Desiree stood from the chair and got her bag. "I'm going home."

"Not alone, you drank too much."

"I'm fine."

"Sugar will take you home."

"Why me? I just saw a cute number in red skirt."

"Cut it out, your sister needs you not some piece of ass."

"Fine."

Desiree changed her mind so she didn't inconvenience Sugar. "I'll leave with you guys and stay over. Go get her."

He smiled and left the table.

"By the way, I wasn't profiling your boss. It was just a random guess."

"It's okay, I was just being a bitch."

"You said that not me. What happened to his arm?"

"I don't know, he never told me about it."

"So this guy you slept with doesn't open up to you."

"You just told Sugar I didn't sleep with him."

"It's obvious that it's not just the kid you miss and you were so quick to let him know I'm your brother instead of the date."

Hanye was way older than her and as much as they played and joked around, he still assumed the role of a father in a life. She didn't know if he felt disappointed in her now that he knew she slept with her boss.

"I mean, it's okay though. When two grown people of opposite sex find themselves alone, things are bound to happen."

"Yea."

"Will you eat your food now or you'd rather cry over a situation you're not making an effort to change?"

Desiree dragged her food closer and ate knowing she truly wasn't making any effort.