Beautiful Princess | Bellarke

Chapter 1

Clarkes P.O.V

I watch as everyone walks into Camp Jaha. My mother, weak on the stretcher being pulled in by some of the guards. Kane is by her side, I know that if I leave he will be able to keep her safe for me. Something has been going on between them recently, and I think I know what. But that is their business.

I spot Raven getting carried in by King Roan and a girl called Echo. Her leg looks pretty bad and now that they have drilled into her to collect bone marrow she looks even more worse for wear.

All of my friends pile into the camp's open area; Lincoln and Octavia, Monty carrying Harper, Raven with Roan and Echo, even Lexa was here. She was clutching onto some girl that I didn't recognise, but they looked very close as if they knew each other well. Even closer then I think I'm letting on to, considering the glints in their eyes as they glance at one another.

I look around at the camp I kinda called home. It was worn down and had a long way to go yet until it was a proper village, but it was a home. I scan over to make sure no one is left behind me. There are only two people yet to enter the gate Bellamy and Jasper...

Jasper... I feel so bad for him. Not only did he lose his girlfriend but three of his closest friends were the ones to kill her. It was all my fault, I shouldn't have pulled that lever. I knew what would happen but I still did it. He walks past me silently, anger and pain embedded in his face. "Jas..." He looked up at me with a sombre expression. I could feel the tears start to well in my eyes, but I pushed them back. I did this, I had to deal with it. I bear it so that they don't have to.

"I'm so sorr-"

"Spare me the apology Clarke." Jasper pauses, turning around to look at me properly. He was crying, and god I didn't blame him. But no, these tears were full of anger. Possibly even hatred...

"Maya is dead. You killed her. You killed the one person who did everything she could to help us, to help you. And not only that, but you got the rest of the innocent people in that Mountain killed too. People who helped us. Children. Sorry isn't going to bring them back... Bring her back..." He started to raise his voice before the realisation hit him again, 'Sorry wouldn't bring her back.' I bowed my head, the tears threatening to spill again.

With that, Jasper scoffs and brushes away his tears, turning sharply on his heel to head back into camp. I stare after him for a few moments until I see Raven make eye contact with me. From this far I couldn't tell what she thought, she could have been mad too. Or understanding. But I don't want to stay around long enough to find out.

As I turn around again, Monty stops a few metres in front of me. He looked like he felt the guilt I had on my shoulders, and to be fair he probably did. He was somewhat apart of the whole process too... And I know fully well if there was anyway I could have done it without pulling him into it. I would. He's too young to deserve that kind of weight on him.

Monty must have noticed the similar expression on my face, as he doesn't waste any time in marching up to me and pulling me into a tight hug. I let out a sigh of half relief, half stress and hug him back, knowing he needed this just as much as I did.

We part without saying another word, and after a curt nod of his head Monty is making his way back up to the camp again. Leaving me to deal with the most difficult person to deal with of all.

Bellamy.

He knows me too well to not see the way things affect me. And that is why I know saying goodbye to him is going to be the worst.

Speaking of, Bellamy is quick to walk down the hill and join me, the two of us looking into the camp as parents reunited with their children, and the rest of us 100 having rejoiced hugs of relief.

"I think we deserve a drink." Bellamy's deep voice says. I glance over to him, and then to the camp, a small chill in my bones telling me that if I walked in there that I wouldn't get that kind of greeting from people. "Have one for me," I reply, not looking back up at him to see his expression. Well, more so he couldn't see mine. "Hey, we can get through this." He tries, his voice soft, soothing almost, yet husky.

I knew Bellamy would try and reassure me that it was all ok, but its not. "I'm not going in..." I can't bare to look at him. If I do, then I know that I would start crying. And when I start crying, I know he will be able to persuade me to stay with him in camp. So, I have to stay strong.

"Clarke..." he starts. His voice sounds upset, maybe even a little hurt. "If you need forgiveness I'll give that to you..." He turns my head up to look at him, and when my eyes meet his I can't stop a few tears dripping down my face. Bellamy reaches forward slowly and brushes them away with the pad of his thumb, immediately making me want to succumb to his touch. "You're forgiven." I look back to the camp, another tear slipping down my cheek. "Please come inside.."

I can't carry on... I can't stay here now... And I most certainly can't keep this conversation going on for too much longer... For I fear that Bellamy Blake will get the best of me and convince me to stay. I have too much of a soft spot for him...

"Take care of them for me..." I whisper, watching out of the corner of my eye as Bellamy tries to find the words to make me stay, but I cut him off before he finds a viable excuse. "Seeing their faces everyday is just going to remind me of what I did to get them here." And somehow I give it to him. "What we did. You don't have to do this alone." He says frantically, as if he is scared that I really was going to do this.

I can't look at him. I know all too well that a part deep down inside of me wants to bury myself in his arms and cry until everyone's pain goes away. To walk back to camp with him and pretend I was ok. But I wasn't, and no facade could hide the pain, regret and sorrow of what I did.

I cast one look back to camp see my mum one last time before looking back at Bellamy. The guy I had once hated and now, liked?  Seeing death's face makes you see everything in a different perspective... People you once had bad views for change as you understand why they did what they did in one rational thought. And in my case, I started to fall for one in particular.

"I bear it so they don't have to..." I say, my voice breaking off at the end, more tears slipping down my cheeks. "Where are you gonna go..?" Bellamy asks, desperation etched into his features. "I don't know..." I sigh, my breath hitching at the back of my throat.

I hug him, tightly, scared that this would be the last time I ever saw him. I kissed his cheek letting more tears slip. "May we meet again." I say confidently, as if I wasn't reassuring him but myself. I turn to walk away, the tears now flowing down my cheeks and I have no will-power to stop them. I walk down the path, taking one last pause to breathe. And then I walk away, tears streaming down my face as I leave my friends and family behind me...

Sorry this chapter was quite short! I just had to change a few bits and thought I'd go right from the end of the series. Hope you enjoyed it! xx

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Hi!! I am going back over the book and editing it again, as I have realised that not all of it makes sense!! xx ~September 2019

Hello my lovlies! As Season 7 comes out in no more than 10 days, I have started to rewatch The 100 all over again! As I did, I got the real feel for writing Bellarke again but the problem is that I am in the middle of writing a different series for a different fandom. And as per usual my track record isn't great at finishing things before a shiny new idea pops into my head. So I have settled on editing this series again. Only small things will have been changed so if you have already read this book then you don't have to worry, it won't have changed significantly. And if this is your first time reading then HI! I hope you enjoy it lmao. xx ~ 10th May 2020 (during Quarantine!)