Bullied. → Magcon

Chapter 21 // It'll Never Be

*Olivia's POV*

Sunday afternoon, and I'm sitting in my car, that's in Shawn's driveway. I spent all last night thinking about what I'm going to do, I barely slept. Running my hands through my hair, I step out of my car. Walking up his door step, I ring his bell. The door opens to reveal Aaliyah.

"Hi, Olivia!" She says to me. "I'll get Shawn for you."

She races up the stairs, I hear heavy footsteps and see Shawn come into view. Wearing a white tee and pajama pants. I chuckle to myself about his appearance.

"Hey." He brings me into him for a hug. Why is he doing this to me? It's just going to make eveything worse.

"Um, could we talk?" I ask him. His expression goes from happy to confused to worried in a matter of seconds.

"Sure." He replies uneasily and leads me upstairs, we get to his room and sit on his bed. I turn to him and take his hands into mine.

"You know I love, and I will never stop loving you." I say.

"I"m sensing a but."

"But, if we continue this relationship,  all I would be doing is hurting you, and I don't want to do that. I car eso much about you." I tell him.

"If you care about me, why are you doing this?" He says this more as a whisper.

"Shawn. My feelings are so confused, I can't think straight. I don't want to hurt you, that would be the worst thing I could ever do. So please, we can't be an us anymore. Find someone whose going to treat you better then me, please move on." I told him, my vision blurred by the tears. I get and walk out, closing the door, but not before I hear.

"But I've already fallen so hard for you." I feel the tears coming down heavier, rushing out of his house, I get into my car and race off.

While I was in Shawn's house it started to rain, now it was pouring buckets. Parking infront of his house, I step out of my car. Getting soaked immedialty, along with my tears. Make up smearing down my face, I ring his doorbell. The door opens with him standing there.

"Oh my god, Olivia. Are you okay, come inside." He tells me.

"No, Matt." I say. " Tell me this. Why do you like me?"

"I'll tell you inside, just come on."

"No!" I scream, he jumps. "Why do you like a despicable human being, I ruin everything, I hurt everyone. No wonder people hate me, I hate myself too. Look at me, I just came from breaking up with one of my only sources of hapiness, to you the only other. Here I am, standing on your doorstep soaking wet. Why don't you hate me like everybody else."

The tears stopped, it was anger now, anger the world, anger at myself.

"Just come inside Olivia." Matt tries to reason with me.

"No." I say turning around, going to my car. Knowing what I have to do when I get home. Fidgenting with my keys. Matt comes up from behind me, pulling me into him.

"Let me go, let me go do it, let me just kill myself. "I say while hitting him in the chest. "I don't deserve to live."

"Shh, it's okay." Matt tells me.

"No it's not, it'll never be." I explain breking down in tears in his arms.

***********

This sucks so much, I'm sorry.

I started high school, and I've been so busy, and tired.

ok peace

leila