Save Me

Chapter 33

Some moments between us felt so right, so easy. This wasn't one of those. Unfortunately, this was on the totally opposite end of the spectrum.

Immediately, I felt so embarrassed. I understand that everyone is new at some point and I also understand Jared already knows that I don't have any experience. Regardless of that, I'm quite sure it's been a very long time, if ever, he has been with someone so new to this world. Even I feel I've got to be exhausting to be with.

"I'm sorry I'm so inexperienced that you have to go through all the basics with me." I replied, turning my nose against his shoulder.

Using his fingers to turn my eyes to his, "Baby girl, it's not like that at all." He said, using his fingers to turn my eyes towards his, "I told you that the way I am with you, I've never been with anyone else and that's completely true. Have I dominated other women?"

The question was rhetorical and I wanted to stop him right there. In no way, shape or form did I want to hear the answer to that.

Not. At. All.

"Jared, I don't need to know this..."

Now, I wasn't naive enough to think I was ever the only one, his obvious experience told me he had plenty of practice. He knew exactly what he was doing. At the same time, I also didn't want to think about it. I didn't want the vision of another woman in my place stuck in my head. The only thing talking about this did was bring back those feeling I had after I read all the groupie stories about him online.

"Vivie, you DO need to hear this."

Like a child unwilling to cooperate, I tucked my head into his shoulder and placed my hand over my exposed ear. I'd much rather live in the unknown in this case.

Grabbing my hand, he pulled it away from my ear, determined to make me listen, "Just hear me out, you need to listen to me."

As if he knew I wanted to run, Jared quickly pulled his leg from under mine and laid hit across both of my legs, essentially pinning me in place. Knowing I was securely under him, he knew I didn't have a choice in the matter anymore. He was forcing me to listen.

"No, I really don't." I disagreed, shaking my head.

I might not be able to move but I wasn't just going to sit there helplessly and not say anything either.

Tightening his arms around me he spoke, "Yes, I've dominated other women. Most of those experiences were solely learning experiences. To be a good Dominant, it takes skill and knowledge to hone your natural instinct. The only way to develop that is through guidance and experience. I always took this part of myself just as seriously as I take everything else I do. It's a part of who I am just like being a submissive is very much a part of who you are."

I was perfectly still and quiet as he spoke. If I wanted to look into his soul, he was giving me the opportunity right now.

"There was always a mutual respect between myself and the submissive I was with but I guess the only way to kinda describe how it works to you would be to say it was kinda like a business transaction. We would meet then sit down and agree to limits and set a safe word. When it was over it was over. She got what she wanted and so did I."

That was exactly what I didn't want to have etched in my brain forever. I actually felt sick to my stomach and because I wear my feelings on my sleeves, I know it showed.

"Vive, I didn't have sex with them." he said, "Maybe a few, but certainly not all of them."

I could feel my stomach continue to turn.... I couldn't say anything even if I tried.