Save Me

Chapter 10

I was so confused....

Throughout the entire night, we chatted and had a great time.    Jared definitely seemed like he wanted to be there.    Something went wrong somewhere though.   Or, it was just me and my imagination again.

I suppose if I really think about it, those flirty signals I thought I saw at the concert weren't really  there or at least they weren't as obvious.    He was friendly and curious, talkative even but was he eye fucking me like on stage?   Nope.   Was he whispering in my ear?  Nope.  Or stealing every opportunity to touch me?  Nope.   

Hell, he didn't even hug me goodbye.  

I'm an idiot.   Why on earth did I think for a minute he was going to kiss me?   Clearly all that flirting was in my head and I was embarrassed all over again.

There was probably a very simple reason for everything, even him spending the remainder of his evening with us.   Maybe he just wanted to connect with people outside of his small circle.    To be around people who treated him like a regular person and not a celebrity to fangirl over or maybe he just likes kids.    I'm certain the girls made quite an impression.   I can't deny there may be a slight chance he did come over because he wanted to know more about me but maybe he just didn't like what he saw.   

I could go around and around and around with reasons why instead of going to bed he chose to come over here until almost three in the morning but it's just not worth it.   Knowing why wouldn't change the outcome.  

What it comes down to is this.   If Jared was attracted to me, I think it's safe to say he would have done more than grab the tops of my arms.   He had more than enough time and plenty of opportunity.   We all know he's not a shy, timid guy.   But, he didn't.    I was left with an over the shoulder 'goodnight' and he was gone. 

Turning the lights off and walking to my bedroom, I couldn't wait to close my eyes on the day.   Even though there were more than enough cringeworthy moments,  I guess there were a few positives that came out of the night.    I needed to keep those in the forefront of my mind not the embarrassing ones.    

The girls had dinner with a famous rock star, I hopefully redeemed myself from my earlier idiotic moments and the most positive of all...   I would most likely never see Jared again.   And, as shocking as this may sound, I was very happy about that.  

The next morning we slept in, though not as late as I had hoped but I suppose I would live.    

"Auntie Vivie.."  Kenzie whispered shaking my arm,  "Are you awake?"

Pulling my sleep mask partially from my eyes,  "Kinda, why?"

"It's like ten and we're hungry."

What the hell?   It felt like we just ate and went to bed.   How could they be hungry or awake yet?

"Okay...gimme a few minutes and I'll be right there."

I've said it once and I'll say it again.   All I know is as hard as my job can be, being a parent is harder.     It's been proven to me time and time again over just the course of a few days.   I was amazed at how little sleep these kids can live on and missed the days when I could actually function on a few hours of sleep too.    Based on the fact that I was dragging serious ass this morning those days were far behind me and it made me kind of sad.     Getting older sucks.   

Considering the busy day we had planned, on top of already being tired in the first place, it was going to be easy to make tonight an early bedtime.   Pulling myself from bed and into the bathroom, when I looked in the mirror I even scared myself.