Save Me

Chapter 29

I sat there on his lap looking at him like a deer caught in the headlights. I was completely and utterly stunned.

Did he really ask me what I thought he did?

I thought I heard him say he wanted me to stay and spend the week with him but that couldn't be true, could it?

"I umm.." I mumbled, still at a loss for words.

Was he actually serious?! I was shocked he wanted me to share his room for one night let alone four more.

If I'm honest, Jared asking me anything even remotely like spending more time together was something I hoped for, of course, but never in a million years expected for several reasons. Most of those reasons were related to him but I also had a few that immediately popped up as well. All those reasons combined sounded off in my head one by one in long checklist.

Inturupting my chaotic thoughts, "Is that something you would want, Vivie?"

Jared demeanor suddenly shifted, I could sense it. He looked away.   It seemed like he was almost unsure of my answer. Nervous that I might say no.  

"I do, I just," I tried to be honest, "I guess it's not something I thought you'd ever want."

He seemed genuinely surprised and maybe even a little offended.

Crinkling his brow he asked, "Why is that?"

"I just thought you would want tonight...."  I said, my voice trailing off.

"I'm sorry you think that."

Glancing towards the windows myself, I couldn't look in his eyes. Does he seriously not know what his reputation with women was? I mean, it's not like he could hide very much, most of his life is pretty well documented.

"It was just an assumption, there's nothing to be sorry about."

I really didn't want to go into any detail on why I thought the way I did. I was still a bit embarrassed I sunk to the point I did so I didn't want to let on that after the last show I went back to my room and googled him despite that situation with those groupies. It wasn't necessary and would probably make me look bad instead of them which was the only reason why I did it in the first place.

The look on his face and his body language made me feel bad I didn't control my reaction better. It was obvious my response bothered him. I just assumed this was kind of like an extended one night stand. I couldn't help it. Even with all that happened between us, some of what I read was still floating around in my head. I mean, what I read was definitely not good.

Article after article, groupie story after groupie story told about Jared being a manwhore that uses women then tosses him out of his hotel room. The groupies were especially clear that if you do get "chosen" by him to have no expectations, it would never be anything other than what is was.

The self proclaimed "friends with benefits" or even the girls who were suspected of having "something" to do with him seemed to know they were one of many. Although they acted okay with it, their trolling proved otherwise. At least in my opinion.

Back to my own reality, as I'm sitting here on this incredible man's lap, I can not fathom why the world I'm so different. It's been that way from the start.   To treat me, basically from the moment we met so completely opposite of all those stories I had read was confusing. There wasn't a single story like mine out there. Not one.  

That made me constantly wonder, which was the real Jared? The one in front of me or the one I read about.

Turning me around on his lap, wanting us to be face to face with each other he spoke quietly, "Look, Vivie, I don't know what's going on between us. From the minute I saw you, I felt something and I didn't understand it then and to be honest I still don't. You confuse the hell out of me."