Just Some Be More Hansen Headcanons and One-Shots

Oneshots 1.0

(Holy mother of angst)

What is wrong with me?

Jared roams the hallway, looking around to find his fr- family friend Evan Hansen. He finally sees him by Connor Murphy's locker and is about to wave him over when he sees Connor shove him against the locker and starts... Making out with him...? Jared is about to go push him away from Evan but he sees the anxious boy start to smile and lean into the kiss. Connor's arms snake around Evan's waist and Evan puts his arms around Connor's neck.

Jared, who was holding his hand up to either slap Connor, wave to Evan, or hug them both, he doesn't really remember, drops his arm and feels a lump form in his throat. He's always liked both of the boys but what do you do when you see both your crushes making out in the middle of the hallway? The shorter boy quickly turns around and rushes outside to get into his car. He locks himself into the car and lays his head on the steering wheel.

"Fuck, what is wrong with me...?" He asks softly to no one in particular. He feels himself tear up and immediately sits up and wipes the tears away. They keep coming, though, and eventually, he's sobbing into his hands.

After a few minutes, he calms down a little and curls into a ball in his seat.

Jared doesn't know how long he stays like that for but soon enough, someone's tapping on his window. His head snaps up and he looks out the window to see Evan. He makes sure there aren't tear stains on his face before getting out of the car and leaning against the door.

"'Sup." He says as if he hadn't been crying for hours. Evan bites his lip before answering.

"A-are you o-okay...?" He asks softly. Jared raises an eyebrow at him.

"Seriously? You're asking if I'm okay? You're shaking like a twig! Wait... Do twigs fall out of trees?" Jared asks. In all honesty, he isn't okay. He's just trying to avoid the question. Evan gets red.

"J-just answer th-the q-question!" He whisper-yells. Jared runs his fingers through his hair and sighs.

"Yes, I'm fine." He lies, glancing around nervously. Evan narrows his eyes at him.

"You're lying." He says firmly. Jared looks at him in shock and gulps.

"N-no I'm not! Leave me alone. Go find Connor or something." He mumbles the last part and turns around. Evan's eyes widen and he puts his hand on Jared's shoulder only to have him yank his shoulder out of his grasp. Evan clenches his fist as Jared feels himself tear up again.

"Jared...?" Evan says softly. Jared turns his head slightly to show he's listening. "A-are you... Jealous...?" He asks quietly. Jared freezes and turns around.

"I'm not jealous!" He shouts. Connor walks up behind them and grabs Evan's hand softly.

"What the fuck are you yelling at, Kleinman?" Connor growls. Jared covers his blushing face, mostly because he feels like he's about to cry.

"He's jealous of our relationship," Evan mutters. He sounds like he's smiling.

He's enjoying this. Neither of them will ever love you. Jared mutters a quiet 'no I'm not.' but neither of the taller boys hear it.

"Really? Which one of us do you like?" Connor asks. Jared doesn't know why but his brain interprets it to make it sound like he's mocking him.

He is. They both are mocking you. Why would anyone want to be with a freak like you?

"Just fucking leave me alone!" Jared shouts. He spins around and sprints somewhere. He isn't really paying attention to where he's going. The boy eventually makes it to the orchard he and Evan went to as kids. He doesn't doubt Evan showed it to Connor by now, too.

Jared lets out a breathy laugh and he goes to sit beneath one of the taller trees. He rolls up his sleeves to see new and old scars littering his skin.

This is why you're unlovable. He sobs and hugs his knees to his chest, burying his face into them.

~Meanwhile~

Connor and Evan chase after Jared, losing him just before they get to the orchard. Connor looks around worriedly and Evan begins to panic.

"Shit..." Connor mutters.

"Oh god. This is all my fault. I shouldn't have called him jealous. Oh god oh g-" Connor cuts off Evan's rant by kissing him. It only lasts a moment before Connor pulls away again.

"It's okay. It isn't your fault. We'll find him." Connor whispers softly. Evan takes a breath before nodding slowly. At that moment, they hear faint sobs and they turn their heads towards the direction of the sound.

"Oh god, that's Jared..." Evan says quickly. He runs in the direction of the sobs with Connor following close behind. Eventually, they find Jared curled up underneath a tree. They immediately run over and Evan bombards him with questions.

"Oh my god, Jared, are you okay?!" Evan shouts, scaring the shit out of Jared. The smaller boy screams and scrambles sideways in fear. His eyes are red from crying and he looks on the verge of a panic attack.

"I-I told y-you to leave m-me a-alone," Jared says quietly, pulling his sleeves down. Connor catches a glimpse of the scars and grabs his arm, slightly rougher than he meant to and hurting Jared. "Ow! Ow ow ow." Jared whimpers, trying to pull his arm back. Connor doesn't let him, though, and shoves his sleeve back up. Jared gives up and looks away, not wanting to see the disappointment in their eyes. The taller boys' eyes widen and they look up at him. Jared has tears in his eyes and he refuses to make eye contact.

"Jared, look at us," Connor says sternly, his voice still wavering slightly. Jared looks down and closes his eyes, shaking his head slightly.

"Jared, please," Evan says softly. He takes one of Jared's hands. The shorter boy chokes back a sob before finally looking at them.

"You're our best friend, Jared. We don't want you getting hurt." Connor says, taking Jared's other hand.

"See, th-that's the thing! I-I don't j-just want to be f-friends! I'm a f-freak for w-wanting more than th-that..." Jared says.

"What do you mean?" Connor asks softly. Jared sobs and looks away, pulling off his glasses and wiping his eyes.

"N-nothing... Nevermind..." Jared mutters. Evan bites his lip before speaking again.

"Jared, please." He says softly.

"Jared, thank you," Jared replies, standing up and shoving his glasses back on. Connor and Evan stand up as well.

"We're trying to help, Jared! We can't help unless you tell us what's wrong!" Connor shouts a little louder than he means to. Jared flinches a little and bites his lip.

"F-fine." He says softly. "I... I like you... Both of you. I don't know how long I have but I do. And I know I'm a freak and you'll never return the feelings but it doesn't matter... Sorry I need to get home." He says quickly. He turns but before he can go, Connor grabs his hand and pulls him into a hug. Evan joins it a few moments later.

"We were gonna tell you after school. That's why we were looking for you." Jared looks up at them in confusion.

"Wh-what do you m-mean...?" He asks quietly. Evan giggles.

"Jared, we like you too." He replies. Jared looks between them to see if their joking. They don't seem to be and he starts tearing up. He buries his face into the boys' arms and starts crying softly. Connor gets a worried look on his face and Evan starts to panic a little.

"D-did we do something wrong?" Connor asks, running his hands through Jared's hair. Jared shakes his head and chuckles softly.

"N-no I'm just happy." He says quietly. Evan sighs in relief and smiles.

"I'm happy too." He says. Connor chuckles at his boyfriends.

"Me too."

So that was the first one-shot and hoo boy that was angsty. It was also shitty so sorry about that. This is my first time writing a polyamorous relationship. Anyway, see you in the next one-shot/headcanon. Bye!