Falling Apart

Chapter 27

I feel Jug's thumb stroking my cheek softly and a sweet smell in my nose. My eyes flutter open and I start smiling immediately. He's sitting next to me on the bed, legs under the duvet, leaning against the headboard. He has made my favorite breakfast; waffles with ice cream. And he has a pink rose on his lap.
“Hey,” he smiles and helps me to sit up as I look at him, lower lip pressed over my upper one. He hands me the rose. “Happy one year,” he says quietly, ‘cause it's still morning.
I chuckle and take it. “You’re adorable,” I say and kiss him. When I pull away, it's just an inch. “Happy one year,” I whisper and peck his lips one more time.
I sigh, placing the rose on my bedside table with a smile and then look back at him. “I love you,” I say, purely from the heart.
“I love you too,” he smiles and goes pink as I kiss his cheek. I giggle quietly. “What? I'm sensitive with the cheek,” he says. I peck his lips again and pull the breakfast more towards us. I move to sit against him and rest my head onto his chest as he places the breakfast on his lap.
He gives me one of the spoons for ice cream and I take it with a smile and take a bite immediately, earning a kiss on my head from him. He lets me take the first waffle and then takes the next one for himself.
“So what are we doing today?” Jughead asks softly as we start eating.
I smirk and look up at him. “I don't believe for one second you haven't prepared anything, Jones.”
“So it's a Jones now?” he asks softly with a teasing tone, leaning down to my face to give me a soft kiss on my nose.
“Uh-huh,” I smile. He purses his lips, obviously thinking about how cute I am. He would tell it to me if he wasn't eating.
“You'll see, Betts. I promise you, you're gonna love it. But we need to start going in a few hours to actually chill and read for a while.”
“Read?” I smile. Everything makes me happy if it includes the word read.
“Yes, read,” he says with a puppy voice and gives me a warm kiss on my temple.
“Can't you like hold your lips back from doing that once in a while?” I smirk.
He laughs at me. “Do you want me to?”
“Not really,” I smile and lean up to kiss his lips, covered in vanilla ice cream. He always eats like this when he's alone with me. He leaves ice cream and chocolate all over his lips so that I'd get the taste of it while kissing him. He might seem like a gang leader and a badass from the outside, but really under all the leather he's wearing, he is a big big softy.

“Juggie,” I breathe out, seeing the beautiful sight in front of us I saw on our spring break. The mountains, lake, flowers, sun, everything about this is beautiful. Only that now, the flowers are even more colorful and it is freaking hot out here. “How are we here? We only walked for an hour.” I knew about the tent and everything we have, but he never told anything about where we're going to set it up at.
He smiles. “We came with my bike, found a shorter way. Do you wanna stay here?”
“I'd love to,” I smile at his worriedness. I lean up and softly kiss him, before he gives me his hand and I take it. We walk down the mountain, him making sure neither of us falls. He pulls me to him and holds me by my waist many many times, just to make sure I didn't trip on the next rock. And even though it is really irritating, the feeling is flushed away by the warmness and love my heart provides to me, knowing he really loves me and is worried I get hurt.
We get down and to a beautiful place, not too far from the lake, on the shore of the small river taking water to it, with about half an hour. We both drop our backpacks; mine is small, only a few pairs of clothes he told me to get. His is the big camping one. He has food, clothes, mattress and a tent attached or in it. I'm holding the only sleeping bag we brought as well.
We set up the tent, laughing and joking around the whole time with his cheesy comments about how sexy I look, which obviously make me blush. After that, we take out all the food. He has bought my favorite chips he hates and many many more good foods, including Pop's. A lot of Pop's. Obviously.
We sit down on the grass, leaning onto each other and eat, laugh and talk. He tells me about funny situations what have happened in his childhood and we share great memories from that period of time as well. That's until we move to another subject. The fact that we have been together for a year now.
When he mentions that, we don't say anything. We both have the same pictures and situations in front of our eyes, we don't have to tell them out loud. I see a yellow butterfly flying over us as my head is on his chest, both of us lying down in the long green grass full of flowers. I point at the butterfly and look up at him. He smiles down at me and we both follow the little animal with our eyes. It keeps circling around us for a few minutes and then makes it's way out of our views. That's when I feel a hot tear in my hair.
I look up at Jug carefully. His eyes are squeezed together, head rested on the grass under us. He looks in pain, but he keeps holding me. “Juggie, what's wrong?” I ask softly, my hand resting itself on his cheek.
“I love you,” he cries out, eyes still squeezed shut.
“I love you too, baby. Tell me what's wrong,” I say quietly, sitting up a little.
“That's what's wrong Betty. I love you,” he cries.
“Why is that wrong?” I ask sadly.
“I shouldn't love you that much, Betts. It hurts,” he cries.
“What hurts? I don't understand what you're saying, Jug,” I say softly, helping him to sit up too.
He opens his eyes. Now the pain from his face is gone and I can only see love in his eyes. Only that. “Look,” he breathes out, looking anxious suddenly. How can his emotions change that fast? “I’ve always loved you so much, but it never felt like this. I feel like I just wanna press you in my body and leave you there. And it hurts that I can't do that,” he cries.
I chuckle softly and cup his face with both of my hands now. “You’re crying because you love me?”
“I'm crying because it hurts,” he cries. “Sex doesn't help, it doesn't get me close enough to you. I want to just… Hold you somehow, but it's not possible. I need to hold you.” He starts sobbing, panicking for some reason.
“Hey,” I say to him quietly and move onto his lap, letting him hold me. He squeezes me so tightly that I know it will leave bruises, but it feels good. It feels good as he snuggles his face into the crook of my neck and leaves really powerful hickeys there. It feels better than good. It feels amazing.
He has calmed down in a few minutes, so I look at him sweetly. “Baby, what was that?” I chuckle.
“I don't know,” he breathes out, looking embarrassed. “My mind doesn't get satisfied after my body does. As I said, sex doesn't help me handle that feeling.”
I smile so big. “Baby, I've felt like this before.”
“Yeah?” he asks, looking a little less embarrassed.
“Yeah,” I say softly, pushing the lonely strand of hair from his forehead to join the other thick curly black ones on his head. “I've cried because of it. But it was during when we had sex, so it probably felt too good and make me want to pull you to me and never let go, literally.”
He nods and sighs. “You were just so damn adorable, watching that butterfly, I just got this feeling like...”
I smile and kiss him softly. He is holding me on his lap, my legs parted around his torso, our stomachs together, his arms around me, my hands cupping his face.
We pull away just for a second and I pull his shirt off. “Baby, how long are we gonna stay here for?” I ask.
“As long as we can live with that small amount of food,” he breathes out, standing and picking me up with him. I let out a quiet giggle as his lips attack me again and he walks us to the tent.

“Princess?” Jug asks me quietly. It's the second night here. And honestly, this is the best time of my life.
“Queen,” I correct him with a grin and look up at him. He chuckles and pecks my nose.
“Are we tired?” he asks me, making it plural once again, asking for only my opinion and I know damn well he isn't.
“No, but we're sweaty,” I whisper, making him squeak in cuteness. We've had lots of rounds now, I lost the count after the fourth one I think, but again, I'm not sure. We're both dying in the heat of each others' bodies but don't seem to bring ourselves to let go of one another either.
“I know it's like 2 or 3am, but… Let's go swimming, the water should be pretty warm in the river,” he whispers.
“Let's go skinny-dipping,” I whisper.
His face grows even happier. “You really wanna do that?” He touches my face lovingly.
“It's only me and you, Juggie. I'm not ashamed of my body around you,” I say.
He smiles at that sadly. “And I love that, but you shouldn't be ashamed around others either.”
“I went swimming with Veronica in the river one day,” I say with a shy smile, looking down at our bare bodies.
“You did?” he asks and the proud tone in it makes me want to cry, honestly. “I’m so proud of you,” he says and sounds sincere. He feels sincere as well as he kisses the pink on my cheeks before we sit up.
“Let’s do it, we're already naked,” he whispers. I giggle and we both climb out from the tent.
I take his hand into mine and we walk towards the river only a couple feet away. About 10 or so. “We should just sleep outside,” he murmurs as we look at the beautiful sky above us. It's full of starts and a small moon what isn't quite full yet.
Suddenly, the cold water is on my toes. I look at Jug with a smile and he looks at me the same way, then down at our bare bodies, not hiding anything, and then back up at my face again. He leaves a kiss on my temple, lets go of my hand and makes his way into the water, deeper with every step he takes. He stops when he's in to his waist and then looks at me. I smile and go after him, shaking a little. The water isn't cold, in fact it's warmer than in Riverdale normally, but it's refreshing after all the heat.
When I reach him, he wraps his arms around me immediately, pulling me against him, protecting me from the cold water and the mud covering our toes.
“You know what I wanna do right now?” he whispers.
I giggle. “No.”
“I wanna kiss you,” he says quietly, making me laugh again and him smile as we look at each other. “Then why aren't you doing it already?” I tease. He smiles lovingly and leans down, bringing me even closer to him if that's possible and kissing me. I'm happy.