Falling Apart

Chapter 10

I'm walking on the streets of the Southside. I've never been here before. The houses are smaller and the people are poorer, but the kids are still playing outside and laughing. Only the difference is that they have high fences around the small houses. Jug told me it can be dangerous on this side here, gosh he didn't even want to let me walk here alone, but it was too risky for him to walk me to the trailer park he lives at. Now that people are back from either big cities or the countryside, there are so many more possibilities of them seeing us together. Of course it makes me sad that we can't be public, but I don't want to get more scars or bruises by my father. Just got a few new ones yesterday.
The thoughts about my new bruises make me grab the ends of my sleeves and pull the more down and more against my arms. Because even though I'm wearing a white a little oversized sweater over my blue skinny jeans and sneakers what will never show any of my scars, I have a feeling that everyone can see them. That everyone will judge me if they do.
I reach the trailer park. Some people are outside, a bunch of leather jackets having a barbeque. I can hear their laughter from far away. For me, they don't seem scary or dangerous at all.
I start walking between the trailer labyrinth and looking for the one that has Jones written on it. As I do that, I feel so many eyes on me. Of course they know who I am, but the also know where I live and have no idea why I'm here.
“Hey Baby Coop,” I feel a boy's voice next to me. I get startled and my head shots up to look at him. Sweet Pea, Jug's best friend.
“A what now?” I ask with a little smirk.
“It’s the name me, Toni and Fangs came up with. Baby Coop. You look like your mom and you're obviously the shortest person out there,” he teases as I keep walking, he tracing right behind me. How do all of them know what my mom looked like? Even the kids my age.
I roll my eyes with a small grin on my face. “Toni’s shorter. Leave me alone now, thanks.”
He chuckles and puts his arm in front of me as he stops, making me stop too. I sigh and look at him with an annoyed look. “Yeah, not so fast. What are you doing here and what are you looking for?”
“The Jones' trailer?” I make it a question.
He raises his eyebrows and then narrows his eyes at me, looking suspicious. “Why?”
“None of your business.”
He narrows his eyebrows. “I don't believe you. Northsiders ha-“
“I just got here two months ago, the fact that I live on the Northside doesn't signify that I'm like the others there. I don't hate you guys. And you obviously don't hate me,” I say.
“Why do you think that?” he asks, narrowing his eyes again. His eyebrows go into a frown, making him look dangerous. Really dangerous.
“You made me a nickname, which I hate by the way,” I say, pointing my finger at him. His lips form into a small smile.
“I'll show you way to the Jones'. So that I'd know you're not here to steal or burn the trailers down,” he says with a cheery voice and starts moving, me following.
“How do you know what my mom looked like?” I ask him as we keep walking towards the end of the trailer park.
“Uh,” he sighs and looks at me. “Maybe FP should tell you.” He scratches the back of his neck, obviously uncomfortable with talking about it.
I raise my eyebrows. “Does everyone know what she looked like?” I ask. Everyone except me.
“Probably, why?”
I shrug. I don't wanna tell him that I've never seen a picture or anything. Even if he is Jug's best friend, I don't trust him. I don't even know him basically.
He stops in front of a trailer. I see the sign Jones written on it. My mouth forms into a little smile.
“Okay, come on,” he says, going up the steps.
I furrow my eyebrows and follow him. “You can just leave now, I know how knock,” I say.
He lets out a scoff. “Yeah, not gonna happen with me, Baby Coop. I want to be sure you're actually going in now.” He knocks on the door tree times after what he smirks at me.
“What am I supposed to do then?” I chuckle.
“I don't know, climb on the roof?” he says sarcastically.
“You're just making fun of yourself at the moment, you do realize that, right?” I ask with a grin while Jug opens the door.
“Hey,” he smiles with an unsure look on his face as his eyes bounce between me and Sweets.
“Hey, Jug. Cooper here says she's here for one of you guys, I'm just making sure she's not  lying or-“
“She's fine,” he says, placing his hand on my back and pulling me a little. I smile and step inside.
“Sorry mate, I'll lock you out now,” he says.
“Wait, wha-. Jughead, is she here for you?” he asks with an exited smile.
Jug smiles, “Goodbye.” He closes the door and then smiles at me. “How did that happen?”
“I told you, I suck at this. I don't think there's a person in this trailer park who didn't see me,” I whine.
He chuckles. “You’re fine,” he assures me and leans down a little to peck my lips. After the kiss he smiles at me and slides his hand over my blonde hair, looking into my eyes, his blue ones happy and loving. “Ready?” he asks quietly.
I know that someone is in the living room just a few feet away. I can feel their presence. I press my lips together not to burst out laughing ‘cause I also feel that they're shocked. Probably because he kissed me. No I mouth to him. He chuckles quietly and takes my hand into his.
“I didn't tell them anything,” he whispers, pointing out the last word, mouthing it too big.
I giggle quietly and nod. “As long as they promise not to tell anyone, I think we'll be okay,” I whisper, mocking him with the anyone. He shakes his head with a little smirk and kisses my hairline. Another fun fact, he can't keep his lips off of my skin. If he's nervous he prefers kissing my hand to holding it, though he loves that too.
“Come on,” he sighs, turns us around a little and takes the few steps into the living room. It actually looks so nice in here. It looks like a real home, cozy and well… a little too masculine and stuff, but I'm used to it, since I've lived with 5 men.
His dad is looking shocked, but grinning a little, sitting on the couch. Next to him is sitting a girl I've never seen. She has a little blonder hair than the two men, but she's still a brunette and has the same blue eyes. She is smirking so big, ready to start teasing his brother about the fact that he just kissed someone. She's sitting crossed legged, her phone next to her, white earphones attached to it, but out of her ears at the moment.
“Uh, dad, JB, this is Betty. My girlfriend,” he says, nervous at first, but when e says the last word he is grinning like an idiot. I chuckle at him quietly and look at his dad's and sister's reaction. His dad is surprised, but sister is totally shocked.
She looks at me with eyebrows high up on her forehead. “You’re dating him? Ew, why?” Jughead gives her a look, but I just giggle quietly.
His dad got up from the couch even before Jug started introducing me, but his sister just keeps siting, looking incredibly shocked from what he just stated. His dad smiles at me though and hugs me. Jug warned me he might do it, so I don't get scared or anxious or anything. I hug him back and it actually feels good.
When we pull away, I know I have to say something. “Uh…” I sigh. “I’m not really good in these situations, I'm sorry,” I say quietly. He grins and Jug laughs at me. I hit him with our linked hands. “Shut up.”
Jellybean gets up and comes to me, her face like she thinks I'm a fool. “What the hell do you like about him? He's boring. He's not even hot “ Jug narrows his eyes at her and they all look at me, waiting for an answer.
“I don't know, everything?” I ask. “It’s hard to choose one specific thing you know.”
“Wow,” she mumbles and shakes her head in shock.
“He'll be annoying you the exact same way when you get a boyfriend,” I smirk and look at Jug with my eyes. He's pursing his lips a little, holding his laugh back, knowing it's true.
“Well until I don't… I can tease you guys,” she smiles and goes into the kitchen. Jug gives my hand a little squeeze, so I look at him.
“I can show you around? I mean it's small and definitely not like you-“
“Juggie, I've lived in like 8 of those before and mine didn't have water or electricity… It looks nice in here, really.”
He smiles at me. “Okay,” he says quietly. I see his dad smiling as he sits back down and takes a laptop onto his lap, probably keeps on working. He seems nice.
Jug keeps my hand in his and shows me around making me laugh with his awkwardness. He's never been in my house normally, he always climbs up the ladder under my window.
The kitchen in here is really small, but the fridge is huge. Of course it is, look who lives here. He is able to eat all of the food inside it with one day if he'd want to. And he probably does. The bathroom is small, but really decent and nice. Then there's the living room, where his dad sleeps on the pullout couch. I've slept in the bath because my dad took the bed, so I really admire how he gives his children the only bedroom this place has.
We enter Jug's and JB's room. She's here now, lying on the bed, earphone in, humming the song, her eyes closed.
“Jellybean,” Jug says. A big smile forms onto her lips, but she keeps humming and her eyes closed. Jug starts to go there, but I keep holding his hand.
“Let her be, you can't kick her out from her own room,” I smirk.
“You have no idea how many times she's kicked me out of here,” he says. I roll my eyes and walk to his bed. I pop down to sit on it and he grins at me. “So what you wanna do?” he asks.
I shrug and let myself fall down on his small bed what feels oddly comfortable. Maybe because of his smell everywhere. “It feels nice being somewhere in peace, knowing there isn't a chance my dad could walk in,” I say.
He smiles sadly and sits down next to me. I stare at his face as he’s trying to figure out what we’re supposed to do. Suddenly his eyes start sparkling. “Hey, you wanna know what your mom looked like, right?” My eyes go wide and smile grows huge on my face. He chuckles. “Come on.”
He takes both of my hands into his and pulls me up from his bed. We go to the living room. “Hey dad? We have pictures of Alice, right?”
He looks up at us, “Yeah, why?”
Jug raises his eyebrows and shakes his head a little. “What do you think?”
His eyes go on me and then he sighs. “Right, sorry.” I smile sadly and he gets up. “I don't know if I have ones you've never seen, but…” He opens a cabinet and I see piles of photo albums.
“Uh, I've… never seen a picture of my mom.”
He looks at me with widened eyes. “Wait, seriously? Not even one?” I hive him a small shrug. He frowns, handing the two picture albums to Jug. “Hasn’t your dad any showed you one?”
“Um, not really…” I say quietly, my head lowered a little. “He’s not really the best dad, so…” He frowns looking worried, but nods. Jug takes the pictures and we sit down on the other couch. All the furniture fits just perfectly, it covers everything, but leaves room for moving.
Jug takes a comfortable position and I smuggle myself into his side, pulling my legs up on the couch. He smiles as I rest my head onto his shoulder and I hit his arm for that. He chuckles an opens the first page. I tense up a little. It's me.
“Is that… her?” I ask in shock.
“Probably, why?” Jug asks.
I let a sharp breath out of my tightened chest. “It's me.” I feel him smiling as I look at the picture with a shocked face.
“The eyes are not you, baby,” he says quietly after we change the page and he studies the picture of a young girl and a taller little boy, who for sure is Jug's dad.

An hour later, we've watched through all the pictures and Jughead's dad –who insisted I call him FP not Mr. Jones– even told us a few stories about her. She was a badass. So not me. I'm the good girl. The ultimate good girl. Which is logical considering my past and how I'm afraid of everyone.
I like FP. He's a good dad and a lot like Jughead. No wonder my mom fell for him even when they were best friends for life. He's a great example of what a supportive and loving dad should be like. He's exactly the kind of dad I'd want.
I turn the last page. The four last pictures. It's made when my mom was like 30 or something and so was FP. They lived here for so long. On one of the last pictures, there are all my brothers on as well. The twins have just been born, Nick is 5 and pouting and then Matt is 7 at this moment probably.
“Is it possible that they remember you?” I ask FP with a small smile.
He lets out a small chuckle. “I’m not sure. But I remember them. How old are they? Do they have families?” he asks.
“Um,” I smirk. “Matt's 28 and no, he's just in the army and hasn't been home for like 5 years.”
He smiles sadly. “Is he okay?”
I smile and nod. “That’s what he tells me, but he's really overprotective so I wouldn't be surprised if he's missing his arms or something and he wouldn't tell me.”
They’re both smiling sadly. “And the others?”
“Well Nick's in LA and focuses on his music. He has a girlfriend, but it's a new one so I haven't seen her yet. And the twins are just idiots. They went to college in Spain and they didn't even talk Spanish.” They both chuckle at me. I still can't believe someone thinks I can be funny.
My eyes go back on the last two pictures. One is of mom and FP and the last one is just mom, laughing. I smile sadly. She looks so happy and carefree and beautiful. His skin seems so soft and I start thinking about what it would feel like to hug her. Or what it would feel like to hold her hand. My chest tightens. This time it's not a good feeling. I feel sick. I keep my tears inside my eyes though and slide my thumb over her face on the picture.
“Take it,” FP says. My head shots up and I look at him. He's looking really sad and like he'd be guilty in what happened with my mom.
“What? No, it's okay,” I say and turn my head back down, my cheeks turning pink. He just saw the tears in my eyes and I feel embarrassed.
“Betts, you don't even have one he has like a hundred,” Jug says. I turn to look at him with an unsure look. His eyebrows are risen up and he nods slowly, encouraging me to take it.
I gulp and look at FP sadly. “Really?”
He smiles miserably and nods. I smile a little and look at the photo. I carefully slide it out from the thin layer of plastic surrounding it. I shouldn't show them how happy I am to get a picture of her to myself. To have it on the nightstand in my room. To know what my mom looks like. So I just smile to myself and then look up at FP. “Thank you,” I say really quietly.
He smiles sadly, “If you wanna know anything, just ask, okay?” I nod with a thankful smile. He smiles and gets up, I know he has to go to work.
I look at Jughead. He is staring at me with a soft smile. His head quickly turns away from me, knowing I saw him doing it. A red color creeps onto his neck. I start smiling and cup his face with my hands, carefully turning it to face me. There's red on his cheeks as well. I raise my eyebrows and my face grows really happy. “You can blush,” I tell him like I'd be either really excited or I'd be talking to a puppy.
He purses his lips a little and starts blushing even more. I lean more closer to his face, closing my eyes; I touch his nose softly with my lips, kiss his cheek, his jawline, and then press my lips against his.
When I pull away, I open my eyes slowly and we smile at each other softly. He pulls me closer to himself and I snuggle my face into his chest. I feel him pecking the top of my head. “Why haven't you been able to blush earlier?” I ask quietly.
“Maybe you weren't trying enough?” he says the same way, his voice really low and quiet like he'd be really careful with me.
“I’ve been trying,” I protest. I smirk in his shirt and look up at him. He looks into my eyes lovingly. “Or maybe I haven't caught you staring at me with this look in your eyes before?” I smile.
His cheeks go pink again and I purse my lips at him. “You’re so cute,” I say with a quiet baby voice. He purses his lips at me like I'd be cute saying he's cute. He tightens his arms around me and I rest my head back onto his chest.