Falling Apart

Chapter 33

I sigh and check my phone one more time. He still hasn't called. He isn't out of his plane yet. I sit on my bed and let myself fall onto my back. I'm still in my normal clothes, but I have to start going soon to get dressed and my hair and makeup done.
“Hey,” Nick says, coming into the room with Noah. He sits next to me and puts him onto my lap, making me smile. “Come on, he'll either be late or he'll get here right after.”
“Yeah,” I sigh. “At least he's coming.” He kisses my cheek and I rest my head on his shoulder, holding his son. I look at Noah with a smile. “He’s cute.”
“Yeah, really chubby,” he says with a smile and kisses his cheek many times in row. I smile and give him back to him.
“I need to go,” I sigh. He nods and we get up. I throw my backpack over my shoulder and we go downstairs. The others are coming later, for the show, but me and Jug have to go now. He comes to me with a sad smile.
“No answer?” I shake my head. He sighs and kiss my temple. “Ready to go?”
“Yeah. But… Can we take my bike? Or yours? I'm not really in the mood for a walk.”
“No, I don't care, we're walking,” he says.
“Why?” I ask, pulling my Serpent Jacket on.
“We have too much time, I don't wanna be the first one,” he smirks.
I chuckle. “Well, lets take your bike and go for a ride? It calms me down,” I say.
“Nerves, huh?” he smirks.
“Mm, you have no idea,” I say. He chuckles and grabs his keys.
“Bye!” we yell to the others and they shout it back to us. We go out of the house and then Jug pulls me back in. “Helmet,” he says.
I roll my eyes. “I don't-“
“Yes, you do.” He pulls me into the living room where everyone is at and takes my helmet. He hands it to me, but I cross my arms. “We’re walking.” I roll my eyes at him and grab the helmet, making him chuckle and the others hold their laugh back. “Fuck off,” I mumble and now Jake bursts out laughing, followed by Sarah and Nick.

“Ready?” Cher whispers. Me and Ronnie nod and we hear our place come in the first song. So we go on the stage and I see everyone smiling at us. I freeze, seeing the oddly familiar smile. It's Matt. He's here. He's sitting next to Nick, holding Noah who is sleeping, looking at me. I freeze just for a second, but I feel Veronica nudging me a little as they start to sing the Heathers' part, which means we have to start acting and singing and dancing now. I shake my head a little, thrilled that he is here, wishing I could sit on his lap or hug him right now, but I know I have to act. So I hide my smile.
“And then there's the Heathers. They float above it all,” Josie says, sitting on the edge of the stage. The music stops, we freeze as we're supposed to in our bitchy positions and Josie starts walking around us and talking about how powerful the Heathers are. Jug is sitting next to Matt, filming us with a big smile. He understood I saw my brother and he can for sure see even from my serious face, that I'm holding my tears back.
They say how they wished the Heathers were kinder and how they'd like to be their boyfriend or sit in their table. And then it's Dilton's turn.  “I’d like to kidnap a Heather and photograph her naked in an abandoned warehouse and leave her tied up for the rats,” he says rapidly, but dreamingly, making the whole crowd laugh and us hold our smiles back.
They all move somewhere out of our way and I kneel down and fake that I'm puking. Not really, but yeah. “Grow up, Heather, bulimia is so 87,” Cheryl says.
“Heather, you should see a doctor,” Veronica says, fixing her hair.
“Yeah, Heather, maybe I should,” I say.
The teacher (Evelyn) comes and talks to us and Josie and then it's my line again, after what Cheryl tells me to shut up, making everyone laugh again.
We never really leave the stage, but there a few scenes more and then comes Candy Store, my favorite one. I see Jug sitting up normally and Jelly smirking while saying something to him.
“Are we gonna have a problem? Did zombies eat your brain? We've come so far why now are you yanking on my chain?” Cheryl asks like a total HBIC. The crowd laughs at the words, normally there are other ones. “I’d normally slap your face off. And everyone here could watch. But I'm feeling nice, here's some advice, LISTEN UP BIATCH!” she yells and the music goes on, making us dance immediately and public cheer. Most guys.
When comes the place where I have to sing and dance along for a few seconds and Cheryl has to yell for me to shut up she does a huge mistake. “Shut up, Betty!” she yells and pushes me on the ground. The crowd starts laughing, understanding that she wasn't supposed to say my name. And me and Veronica also laugh while singing and dancing. Cher smirks, but we all keep doing the number.

After the first half of the musical is over and the curtains close, I run back on the stage immediately and jump off of it and jump on Matt. He chuckles and hugs me, lifting me up from the ground. He's still in his uniform, he just came straight from the plane probably. I missed him. I missed these arms holding me, I missed his shoulder what I'm crying into, I missed his hair, his presence, his- “Hey baby,” he whispers. -voice.
“Hi,” I cry. I feel him chuckling and then kissing my cheek, but he's crying too, I know he is. When he finally places me down, it's like 5 minutes later. He looks at me while I wipe my tears away, then sighs and drops his head onto his nape, trying to hold his tears back. I start grinning bigger and he pulls me back against him, his arms hugging me again. I hug him back and hide my face into his chest now. He's taller than Jug or any of our other brothers. I feel his hand on the back of my head, starting to fondle my hair softly, just like when I was little.
In another few minutes, we break apart after the first curtain call that someone plays behind the stage with a piano. “You look…” he can't find words.
“Different,” I finish with a sad smile. He nods. His hands tickle my sides, making me squeak and push them away. “Stop,” I giggle and he kisses my head.
“Hey, sorry to interrupt,” Kev says, so I turn around and rest my back against Matt. “We need you backstage, last practice for the final. You too,” he says, looking at Jug. “Betty, give him his line and choreography.” I nod.
“My line?” Jug asks taking my hand. “I’m not part of the cast.” I see his anxiety raising.
“Baby, calm down, it's just a big statement in the end, everyone's doing it, all the jocks, everyone.”
“No, but. My line? Choreography? I told you guys when we started this, that I'm never ever going up on that stage.”
“Well, I guess you were too naïve enough to think we wouldn't make you,” Kev says and walks away.
“Kev! Help me!” I protest, but he just goes. I groan, making the others chuckle. I look at Jug pleadingly.
“Betty,” he says.
“It's just like five words with music, weird dance moves and I have another thing for me and you what you will for sure love.”
“Bab-“
“Just follow my lead, it's basically a costume change, come on,” I say and pull him with me after kissing Matt's cheek.

The curtain goes up and everyone is looking at us. “Listen up folks, war is over,” I sing.
“Brand new Sheriff's come to town,” Jug continues while we both look at FP in his Sheriff's uniform. That's what Hermione wanted him to do for her the day we got Sheriff Keller arrested.
“We are done with, acting evil, we will lay our weapons down,” Cheryl sings, looking at Veronica sadly.
“We’re all damaged, we're all frightened, we're all freaks but that's alright,” Ronnie sings, looking at Cheryl the same way. It's not acting anymore, though we're still our costumes.
“We'll endure it, we'll survive it, Martha, are you free tonight?” Josie sings. I look at Jug. He's really tense, his arms crossed on his chest, his face wrinkled up like the first time I saw it. I put my hand down for him to take it. He looks at me for a moment and I give him a little smile. He smiles back and takes it after what we look back in the crowd.
“I can't promise no more Heathers,” Cher sings.
“High school may not ever end,” Archie sings. Of course it may not if you have all F-s, jerk.
“Still I miss you, I'd be honored, if you'd let me be your friend,” Toni sings, looking at V sadly. They've been fighting all of these months and the fact that Veronica's dad went to jail after we investigated didn't help either.
Me, V, Cher, Josie and Toni start singing the girls' part softly and then the other girls join too. “If no one loves me now. Some day somebody will,” I sing, thinking about my childhood and then look at Jug, who smiles at me lovingly. The boys all start to sing base for us, including Jug and even everyone who said they can't sing and now sing great (all the stage workers, word changers, choreographs, clothes' department, etc.).
I squeeze Jug's hand softly and we keep singing. “We can be seventeen. Still times to make things right.” We're looking at FP with little smirks and pouty faces and I hear him laugh even though everyone looks at him for a moment. “We want a better world. So why not start tonight?” we sing, still staring at him. He grounded us after we got bad men arrested and investigated the truth.
We keep singing and then comes the best place. We throw our jackets and stuff off what belongs to the characters, pick up our own clothes from behind us and put them on. Me and Jug pull our Serpent Jackets on at the exact same moment and he pulls his beanie on after what I see him relaxing a little. I'm wearing my sweater under the jacket, so this is exactly me. White sweater, serpent jacket, and well the skirt what isn't mine, but I'd totally wear it. Jug ties the flannel around his waist and looks completely satisfied even while singing and dancing. He's holding my hand and I see that relaxes him a lot as well.
When the song ends, the whole town sits in shock. They all know what we've all been gone through. Kev is living with a foster family, my whole life, Veronica's family, Jughead's family, Toni's parents dying, Cheryl's dad murdered, Sweet Pea's mom died, Archie's mom left them and dad died, etc. But then comes the cheering and the applauding. Everyone seems touched by our performance and especially the last number. They stand up and start clapping.

“Were you trying to make a statement up there?” Slurpe smirks at us as me, Jug and Sweet go to our families.
“Maybe it's unfair to get grounded for a month for getting the right people arrested,” Jug says under his breath and I grin.
“What?” FP smirks.
“Nothing,” Jug says, making me chuckle. I lean against Matt and he kisses my hair, making me smile.
“What's the time?” I ask all of them.
“Like 7,” Dan says.
I sigh and look at Jug. “Give me a ride?”
“Yeah, sure,” he says, touching his pockets to see if he still has the keys.
“Where are you going?” Matt asks me.
“Therapist,” I say.
He smiles at me softly. “I should find one.”
“Why? You've never said that before,” I say.
“PTSD, you know what that is, right?”
I raise my eyebrows. “Something happened?” I ask worriedly.
“Calm down, Lizzie, he's been in the army for 7 years,” Nick says. I keep looking at Matt worriedly.
He kisses my forehead. “Go ahead, we need to get ready for that dinner of yours.” I groan, making all of them laugh.
“Do we have to?” I whine.
“Come on,” Jug says and pulls me away from all of them.

“Hey,” Matt says, coming into my room as Jug just went in the shower.
“Hey,” I smile. “Jug, Matt is here, don't come out naked!” They both laugh at me, but Jug knows he would've come so I hope he's thankful.
He sits next to me on the bed. “What’s up?” I roll my eyes at him with a smile. He chuckles. “Okay, um… I thought I'd wait for a few days, but I think you should know,” he says, looking at me.
“Know what?” I ask with a smile.
He gulps. “I’m not going back to the army.” I look at him with a shocked face, but then it changes into a smile, making him sigh. “There’s a reason for that. Look.” He gives me a warning look and tugs the bottom of his pants up a little. My eyes go wide. It's metal. It's just some metal thing. A fake leg. Why and how the hell does HE have a prosthetic leg? I start shaking a little and he wraps his arms around me as the tears start coming too. “Baby, I'm okay. I had an accident, they gave me a new leg, lots of money, just I can't go back anymore.”
I feel like a jerk for being happy that he can't go back for a second. He should be able to go back if he wants to. He wasn't the one who should've lost their leg. He… A sob takes over my body as I'm still staring at the terrifying thing attached to his body. He pulls me onto his lap, not giving a shit about the fact that I'm 17. He holds me against him tightly and tells me he's okay. My hand touches his knee through his black jeans. He has this thing attached to his knee gap.
“What are you gonna do now?” I ask quietly in a few minutes, still sitting on his lap.
“I don't even know,” he sighs. “I was thinking about getting an apartment somewhere. And finding a job… Hopefully finding him. You obviously have already.” His fingers touch my silver ring on my right hand's ring finer. I smile. “And maybe if I do find him some day, we'll adopt a baby,” he says quietly. I turn to look at him with a smile and he smiles back at me. Our family has never been a normal family and yet, we all want babies. We all want families. We all want to be loved.