Runaway//a blesiv love story 😍

tapes pt.2

d-come on brandon put the 4th one 

b-calm down diego I need  to clean it

j-its a tape

b-ok ok stop being bullies you assholes number 4 2017 13 year old jen 

j- whats up jen its me..jen ahh ok so its let me see the time oh ok its 11:54 pm and im back you know to tell you more about me I honestly got into thinking what do I really dream about I mean were as I grow up im getting advice from like 9 different directions I mean this year over all has been confussing teachers and adults say never give up but the generation says if you fall stay down no one is helping us up jen we got to it ourselves this year we lost connection withour family it sounds impossible but look I made the impossible possible I seriously or we dont talk to mom or dad or zoe unless were at the table which we barley even talk there either Im just so tired of life and the way it is ik nothing about our family don't even know their favorite colors like wtf but there are goods to this year like I think brandons the one ik you future jen your probably laughing on how stupid I sound but its true idk I mean hes stuck with me for years now hes the only person I let in at my worst hes actually the only one whos seen me at my worst I  started writing raps its actually something were really good at its another way of expressing our feelings without all that emotional type of shit oh damnit it 12:03 am im an idiot well happy new year jen I hope were doing better then right were you are.

b-I love you jen im always here for you 

a-same here 

de-always

d-not a doubt 

h-girl id never drop you you ma main

g-we love you 

c-forever 

j-thx guysyou guys are like family I love you all so much

b-well lets pop in #5 

j-WAIT!!I um I said a few things in that one I don't want this one to be heard 

b-come on jen what could possibly be that bad 

j-its not bad just emotional and um regretful I meant nothing I said in here...ok some of it....ok at the time all of it but now im seriously regreting it 

b-putting tape #5 year of 2018 14 year old jen 

j-hey its jen you know you know yea you know *deep breathe* this year has been pretty good or pretty bad idk anymore I mean this year we did it we ran away to LA with brandon also brandon finally said he loved me then 2 weeks later cheated on me after years *scoffs* everything does happen for a reason like if he didn't cheat I wouldn't have met hailey my bestie which brings me to I feel like the fakest person ever you know hailey and brandon started dating I had an ibsf which I meet carlos kissed another girl I don't know why I was mad or sad I really don't remember but I was bothered hailey and brandon broke up so did diego and desi then gio comes out of the blue asks me out I say yes just to find out later that I actually like my ibsf who now lives in la and is dating hailey so in took the day with desi and got a call then just to find out my 12 year old sister is sobbing because she misses me like my family didn't notice me when I was there all of a sudden im gone and im their whole world *deep breath* like fuck kill me already I want to die there is nothing in this world holding me down im so done matter a fact im leaving im going to move as far away as possible im fake my family's not here to help when I need them and I cant talk to my friends because im just not that type of person to go crying to everyone I mean brandon ok desi maybe hailey but my self esteem is way to low if I start crying id never stop so instaed of trying to end the tears lets just end our life like damn happy new years jen see ya 

j-im hungry lets order pizza 

g-yea you know what she said she regreted it now shes happier and you know lets just not talk about it

h-im down 

de-same

everyone-ok

a-wait are those the blades you used to cut through your life 

j-um actually ima be honest but you cant get mad 

b-depends jen 

j-come ooon b don't be like that 

b-wait I already know 

j-how?

b-the look in your eyes

j-and what do they say 

b-these five blades are the ones you used last year you actually were gonna kill yourself weren't you and you were gonna do it on new years day that's why the water in your bathroom ran for hours that night 

j-wtf how did you know that 

b-ik you jen 

j-you know me better than ik myself that's bad