If The World Was Us (A UsUk Fanfic)

Chapter 7: My Good Luck Charm

Chapter 7- My Good Luck Charm

It had been almost two hours since the Brit had fallen asleep and I couldn’t sleep. Every time I closed my eyes they just opened again. There was no point in even trying to get back to sleep now. I had to give my mind the satisfaction it wanted before I fell asleep.

What did it want? What could it possibly want more than sleep right now? I gazed towards my hands in which they were shaking, but at least still there. I knew that in my heart and my mind I was scared. No, scared is an understatement. I was terrified.

I was terrified to see everything around me crumble. Everyone I knew would be gone forever and what would I become? An angel of some sorts floating in heaven? I laughed at the silly idea of me with wings. I was no angel.

When would my whole existence disappear? When it did would anyone remember me? Did I live a life worth living? Would anyone miss me?

I stood up and yelled at myself in my head. Of course I lived a worthy life! I did what I had to do to protect people. Everything was for the people. None of it I spent on myself. So why do I feel like I did something wrong?

Why did I feel like this was my punishment? What did I do to deserve having to leave? I already told myself I wouldn’t say goodbye to anyone. I was just going to disappear in a way that kept everyone free from hurt.

As I made myself a cup of coffee I heard a few silent squeaks from down the wooden hall. The creaking of the floorboard behind me was what caught my attention. As I turned around I could barely make out a detail without my glasses.

“What are you doing up so early?” I heard.

“I could ask you the same question.”

He just shrugged and handed me the black frames, his small, cold fingers brushing against mine. I looked down to make out the shape of my glasses and sighed as I put the frames back over my eyes. Now that I could see I turned to look at him again.

His dirty blonde hair was mangled into a mess and he had hairs sticking out everywhere. He was clutching onto his elbows with his hands, maybe to regain warmth. His eyes were slanted as he could barely keep them open. He rubbed his eyes and returned his gaze to me.

“Well I thought I heard a voice and it woke me up.”

“A voice? I don’t remember saying anything. You must’ve been dreaming.” I said drifting my eyes back to my cup of coffee.

“I could’ve sworn it was yours. You said something rather important but I can’t remember what it was. What did you say?” he asked, eyes in a serious stare.

I could tell he wanted a serious answer but I had none for him. Did I tell him anything at all in the last two hours that could’ve woken him up? In all honestly I couldn’t remember. Maybe my memory was gonna go first.

“Sorry dude. I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

“Don’t play dumb, you twat! Answer the question!”

“If I knew I would’ve told you already.”

“You, you… Ugh, forget it. I’m sure it was nothing important anyways. I must’ve really been dreaming.” he responded, seeming really disappointed.

His eyes darted to the floor as he turned, facing away from me. By then I had already finished my coffee and I set the empty mug onto the counter and filled it up again. It really sucked that I couldn’t even remember if I had said something but I must’ve. The Brit’s memory was always spot on when it came to the events, just not the conversations.

“What kind of important statement were you looking for? An apology? A lyric from a song? What?” I asked.

“I don’t know. Just something that I thought you had said but I realize it would only happen in dreams.”

“What did you think I said?”

He paused and began to walk toward the edge of the kitchen. He waved goodnight as he began to walk away. I guess I would have to read his mind if I wanted to know the answer to that question. I followed him to the bedroom door and waited until he was ready to go back to sleep. I waited at the door, my hand holding onto the handle.

“If you hear my voice again know it was a dream ok?” I told him, smiling.

“But I don’t want it to be a dream.” I heard him whisper.

“You really need a psychiatrist you know that? You aren’t gonna get to sleep babbling like that.”

“Would you wait here? Just so I know if you were the voice I heard?”

“What? Now who’s acting like a child?”

“Please. I have to know.”

“Stubborn to the core.”

I sighed as I walked into the room. I sat on the edge of the bed and stared at his now sleepy face. He was staring at me with those bright eyes of his and I instantly kissed him on the forehead without hesitation.

“What was that for?” 

“It’s a good luck charm to help you get to sleep.”

“So it’s my good luck charm?”

“I guess you could say that. Now just get to sleep already will ya?”

I got a smile from him as his eyes closed. I rested my head on the pillow and stared at the ceiling above me. I knew I had less time the next day then I did today. It seemed a good luck charm was all I could give him.

“You’re the only charm I need.” I heard him say beside me.

Was I imagining that? As far as I was concerned he was asleep but maybe he was just trying to mess with my head. He was winning. As my thoughts turned dark all I could hear was that one line echoing over and over in my head.