Manual of The Forbidden ➡ Irwin

Chapter 29.

I didn't want Luke to go, but the truth is that I had to face a lot of feelings in my beating heart every time I saw him by myself.

I bit my fingernails nervously, making plans in my head of how to avoid Ashton, yes that's what I was going to do from now on, after thinking, and over thinking I decided it'd be good for all of us if I did that, maybe I would get rid of these absurd feelings.

I looked at my wrist watch nervously, I felt like when you are having a math test, the time is running out and you haven't even done half of the test. 12 minutes to 7pm.

Telling Luke all of this made everything crystal-clear, but now it was ringing I'm my head constantly, I knew which my problem was: I had fallen in love with someone I shouldn't, and that had brought many consequences to me.

-What if I do not open the door?- I though to myself. Maybe when he got here I would ignore it, he would go away and I wouldn't have to break my heart letting it sing in his presence and then shut it down when Sharon comes. I ran to my room ready to get in my own little word and ignore the external noises, and that included the knocks on the door that were soon to be heard.

I turned on some speakers my dad had given me like four years ago and let the music blast all over the room.

When the first song of the playlist was playing I heard those knocks on the door, I tried to ignore them but, above it all, ignore that I knew who was on the other side of the door, making my heart beat so hard it was ridiculous.

His hands were still knocking, but I had already made my mind, I wasn't going to run and open the door to reveal the face that took my thoughts away, even when I wanted to do it I couldn't. I turned the speakers off and plugged my headphones to my phone and turned the volume to it's max until I couldn't hear anything close to me.

I dropped my weight in bed, shut my eyes tightly and burrows my face on the pillow, I sang absentmindedly some verses of All The Small Things by Blink 182 and my voice sounded so far away I couldn't even recognise it.

Forty minutes passed until I decided it was enough, it wasn't in my plans being deaf before I was thirty so I turned my phone off and unplugged the headphones too.

I sighed, how was I going to see Sharon?, was I so hypocrite keep a "sincere" smile on my face whilst talking to her? She didn't deserve getting hurt, by no one, much less by me, and I couldn't afford loosing her.

I stared at the ceiling for awhile thinking how I was the worst person in this world by hurting Sharon like this but then I heard the door opening and the sound of their voices mixed as they talked, what was I going to do?, I couldn't just walk out my room like nothing in the world happened and behave like a hypocrite in front of Sharon and shutting my heart down every time he said my name. And I couldn't hide in my room forever.

"Dawnie! Are you home?" asked Sharon in a loud yell, "there you are." she answered to herself relieved to see me safe and sound when I opened the door of my room, however I felt the opposite, Ashton's stare was on me and I felt vulnerable.

I smiled nervous and dumbly, I could have jumped from the window if Sharon didn't live on the third floor. I couldn't look at Ashton, well, better said, I couldn't keep my eyes on him; I could not with Sharon either, if somehow my eyes met hers she would see pain and guilt in them and I didn't want that.

"Why you didn't open the door for Ashton?" Sharon asked confused.

"Oh!, sorry," I looked at Ashton and his hazel-green eyes melted my heart even before it could beat, so I looked away to Sharon so I could answer her, "I fell asleep with my headphones on and I got lost in stereo." I excused my way to the kitchen to escape from them, because from every angle possible I was guilty. And I FELT guilty.

"Do not worry Dawn." he spoke so softly that my legs trembled.

"I found him sitting outside, for how long, God only knows" she muttered and then gave Ashton a hug.

It was really stupid how a simple hug made me feel, I was jealous and I couldn't help it.

The doorbell rang stopping the kiss they were about to share, and the Shrew jumped excitedly inside her cage thanking whoever was outside.

I was greeted by a bouquet full of red roses, I couldn't see anything but the hands that were holding it, we were all looking confused and astonished. The bouquet was lowered by the person behind it and I could finally see Michael's young face smiling at me.

(^.^)