Rental [yoonmin]

52.

Jin took a deep breath when Namjoon took a step in the room.  "Hey," Namjoon quietly said.

"Hey," Jin responded a bit breathless. His heart was palpitating loudly against his chest wall.

"So, what have you decided?" Namjoon asked as he gulped.

It was hard for him to even think of the situation they were in. He admitted that it absolutely tore him to pieces.

He was willing to do everything and give up whatever for, Jin. He was willing to even run away with him if it came to that.

Why couldn't Jin do the same for him?

Did Jin honestly feel the same way, if he was still marrying Jisoo in less than a month now?

He tried to be patient. He honestly did. But sometimes patience wasn't enough to keep a heart beating.

He woke up everyday fearful of never seeing  him. Fearful that Jisoo might catch them seeing each other.  Fearful that Jin might walk away from him. He didn't want to live like this for the rest of his life.

"I..." Jin couldn't finish his sentence. Coward was the word he had engraved in his mind. He kept asking himself if he truly did deserve someone as pure and selfless as Namjoon himself.

Namjoon nodded sitting down on a stool. He looked down at the floor his heart slowly sinking.

"It's not enough is it?" He whispered.

"What?" Jin whispered back.

"What we have... what we feel...it's simply not enough." He said through a knot on his throat.

"Namjoon I—"

"Why isn't it enough? What else do you need to see or hear for you to make up your mind?"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've put you in this situation. I can't let my family down. I can't put the business in jeopardy. I'm his only son."

Namjoon laughed avoiding eye contact. Jin could clearly hear the hurt in his laughter. "I understand." He finally said.

"I don't think you do. I know it doesn't feel like it but I really care about you." Jin quietly said.

"You're right. I don't understand," Namjoon began as he looked up. "If I was in your situation I would give up everything for you. I guess we're not on the same page."

"But my father—"

"You said it yourself. You're his only son. Do you honestly believe he wouldn't forgive you if it put his legacy in danger? You and I both know he would. You just don't want to try with me. That's okay. I want you to be honest."

"I'm scared." Jin admitted.

"I know you are. You've told me before. Don't you think I'm scared too? Love is always scary, okay? Sometimes you just have to trust your instincts and let hope lead the way."

"What if this doesn't work out? What if we aren't meant to be? What would we do then? If we give up everything for each other and it isn't enough?"

Namjoon often thought of this too. It was a big possibility of course. But at the same time he was a dreamer and a believer.

He was a hopeless romantic and no matter how many doubts he had he always believed.

Unlike Jin, Namjoon lived in the moment. He appreciated the little things in life and didn't think much of the future.

Because in his mind what was the point of over worrying? Life was unpredictable and anything could happened.

No matter how much he planned his life it would never turn out like it. So why not take risks? Why not listen to your heart and take a leap of faith?

"What if it does work out? What if we are meant to be? Would you regret it then? Thinking of the what if's everyday? You just have to trust in us and in what we feel."

Jin remained silent for seconds. He looked at Namjoon's face that read hope. Namjoon slowly reached over to hold his hand.

"I want you to feel me. Can you feel the way I feel about you okay? I'm being sincere. Please, tell me you feel it?" Namjoon's warmth wrapped Jin's hand giving him the comfort and support he needed.

"I feel it." He said gripping his hand in return. He did. He felt warmth, love, and it suddenly all made sense to him.

He started thinking about it and Namjoon was right. What if ... they could be a thing? What if they were enough?

"I just want you to be happy, Jin. I want your happiness. Okay? So you tell me what do you want us to do with this? What do you want?"

"What do you want?" Jin asked in return.

Namjoon laughed once again turning a light pink. "What's so funny?"

"You don't want to know what I want."

"But I do." Jin insisted taking a seat next to him.

"I've been thinking of ... I don't know. Running away? Forgetting everything and everyone else. Just you and I."

"Running away?" Jin asked astonished. The thought had crossed his mind too. Plenty of times if he was honest. Hearing it from Namjoon himself was just giving him courage to actually make it happen.

"Listen here," he began. He had pulled his heart out of his chest to expose it to him. He hoped Jin was gentle enough with it.

"I love you. I'm in love with you. And I honestly, think that I will love you until the ends of my times, I just feel like we're running out of time."