My Name Is Bucky

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I felt chills down my spine. Which was weird. I recognized the voice. Slowly, I spun on my heel.

"I put a tracing device on you," Natalia said cooly. "I'm surprised you didn't notice."

I didn't speak, I just watched.

She continued. "Remember how we trained together? I figured you'd notice my old tricks."

"Remember how I beat you every single time?" I growled and launched at her, grabbing her shoulder and pulling her down.

She shoved her weight onto me, and she tried to contain my metal arm by using all the strength she had. She shoved her foot on my wrist.

I grabbed her foot and pulled her off of me before attempting to run again.

She shot my leg. "Why are you running? What happened to no surrender? You're not scared, are you?"

I growled and attempted to get up, but I felt a shock pulse through me and everything went dark.

I'm sick of this.

***

I woke up in a containment unit. Made of bullet proof glass. Something covered my mouth. I was strapped down.

They caged me.

I had flashes of the men saying the code words, and I started to freak out.  I flinched and pulled my arm free of one of the restraints, but it snapped back into place. I tried to scream for help, but the mask silenced me.

I tried to stand up and hit the wall, to try and get somebody's attention or to try and break free myself. Nobody was going to let me out. Why would they? Anyone who was here has probably fallen victim to my assault at any moment in time.

Suddenly, my head started to spin. I screamed out in pain as I fell to the floor.

I was strapped down to a table. They were doing something to me. Testing? Experimenting? Then, there was a loud noise and they left me. I was just repeating my name over and over and over and over again. James Buchanan Barnes. New York. James Buchanan Barnes. New York. James Buchanan-

Suddenly I saw a familiar face above my own. Captain America. Except he wasn't. I knew him as Steve. I smiled so widely, I was so tired. He pulled me up and I felt safe. He was familiar. He was good.

We escaped. He tried to sacrifice himself but I wouldn't leave without him. The face he made when I yelled 'not without you!' It stung. It stung me when we were away.

He wore my dog tags. I asked him about it. "I didn't think you were coming back" he whispered in his small voice. No matter how big the machine made him, he was still tiny.

I screamed and pounded my fist against the glass. Let me out. Let me out. It's too much. I held my head in my hands. My mask seemed to clink, letting my voice travel through the metal that was made to silence me.

"S-Steve..." I whispered to myself. I felt tears rolling down my cheek. How could I survive years of torture and neglect, survive being electrocuted and frozen over and over and over and over and over again? Yet this man broke me.

I put my hand on the glass. "Steve..."

Steve wasn't there.

A man with a beard stared back at me. He wore glasses and some sort of armor on his hand. "Did it work, Nat?"

Natalia stood in the dark corner and nodded. "You'd think he'd remember me..."

I punched the glass out of anger and pain. "Let me out..."

The man turned around. "No can do, buckaroo. You've attacked Cap way too many times to be stable. Wasn't he like, your best bud back in the '40s?"

I screamed in pain as memories flashed back. They skipped around like a broken record, but they were still there. Loud and blaring. Making sure you couldn't ignore them.

Natalia looked at me. "Why does he do that?"

"I think it's a trigger?" The man said as he typed quickly on his computer. "Anything to do with Bucky's life and he goes haywire."

I groaned. "I'm....not....Bucky...."

The man scoffed. "And I'm not a genius, billionaire, playboy, or philanthropist."

Natalia looked annoyed. She walked over to the glass and crouched down in front of my face. She seemed sorry for me, although I know she would never show it.

I punched the glass. Natalia sighed. "Buck, I know you're upset and scared but you need to cooperate-"

"I'm not your lab rat! You take me from freedom and you call it mercy. You take me from the others who used me to kill! I've killed more than you and I'm not afraid to stop! You think memories of Steve will end it? You think I'm unaware of the monster I've become?"