My Name Is Bucky

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A/N
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I swung my legs over the side of the bed. Steve insisted I take his bed while he slept on the couch. I just wondered why he didn't have a guest bedroom I glanced at the clock which read 3:27am. Groggily, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom.

Steve was snoring slightly in the other room, which was a peaceful noise to me. Somehow, the man Ive-I mean- Bucky's known his whole life still brings me comfort.

The bathroom door creaked open and I turned the sink on. I splashed some of the water in my face and contemplated. Tony had given me permission to go with Steve and Sam on the mission. The pending question was: did I actually want to? I mean sure, I'm with people I know- I mean people Bucky knew, but how will I know this will be different from HYDRA?

I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I didn't know who I was. I was caught in this world between the winter soldier and Bucky. Steve wanted me to be Bucky, everyone else expected me to be the winter soldier. I sighed and wiped my hands on a towel gently before heading back into Steve's apartment.

Immediately, I was drawn to a sound coming front Steve's bedroom. I tiptoed over, trying not to wake him if it was only a bed, and peaked inside his room. Steve was laying on the bed, turning in his side over and over again, trying to call out for help but he couldn't make the words. He'd helped me through my nightmares, so I will help him.

I walked over to his bed and tried to gently wake him. "Steve. Steve it's okay," I grabbed his shoulders.

Steve's eyes flew open and he attempted to hit me away from him, his eyes were confused and showed he was in a craze. I grabbed him and carefully held him down.

"Shh...shh it's just me...." I calmed him down. His heartbeat started to slow overtime as he wrapped his body around me in a hug.

It helped him, so I held him tightly and let him play with my hair. I don't know why he did it, but I think it's to touch something that you know is real. He looked at me.

"You're here, right?" I looked at him, confused. " I mean, you're here because I asked and not because of...of HYDRA right?" I blinked slowly.

"Steve, I was brought her forcefully, you know that-"

Wrong thing to say. Steve bit his lip and started to let go of me, the fear catching up to him in his mind.

"Initially! I wasn't brought here willingly, initially. But yes, I'm staying for you. I could never go back to HYDRA." There was a pause in the room. Steve let go of me and sat opposite of me. I saw his stomach moving up and down when he took a breath. "They'll be coming for me, you know." I stated after a moment.

Steve simply nodded.

"What did you dream about?" I prompted. Steve always did this with me, so I was really just copying my memories and hoping for the best. After all, he knew me better than I knew him.

Steve shivered. "That night. The train. Then, I dreamt about all the horrors you went through that night, and the night after that and the night after that and the night after that. And then I realized I couldn't even imagine what you've been through for the last 80 something years of your life," he took a breath, "and what was even worse was the fact that I didn't know what you went through. I didn't know!" It could've been my imagination, but I think I saw a tear fall down his face  "and I've beaten myself up over it every single day since I've gotten out, but you don't even know who you are. And I don't know how to help you remember!"

I looked at him. "If it makes you feel better, the memories do come back. They come back hazy, but they're there."

Steve nodded. "Yeah. But I've noticed anytime you mention your past, you scream and hold your head. It hurts you, Buck. And I can't stand that."

We sat together in silence for a while. I'm not exactly sure how long. But Steve stayed close to me, if he were waiting for the exact moment when I'd try to run. I didn't wanna run anymore. Not from these people.

"Steve," I said suddenly as the memory came to mind. I had to say it or else it would escape me. "Do you remember the time we went to the future expo and we saw the flying car?" My head was pounding, it was screaming for me to stop. "And I couldn't take my eyes off of it because it was the future."

Steve smiled slightly and nodded. "Come with me. I have something to show you." He stood up and waited for me. I put on a hoodie and followed him through the long corridors and onto an elevator.

"Where are we headed?" I questioned and watched the buttons on the tiny screen raise higher and higher.

"Let's just say," I caught a glimpse of a knowing smile, "that we've come a long way since flying cars."

The elevator rung, and Steve stepped out onto a solid concrete floor. I followed him out of the elevator into a warehouse. It was still pretty early, or late I guess, in the night, so Steve hit a few switches.

Burning LED lights flickered on, illuminating the thousands, hundreds of thousands of airplanes, helicarriers, and more technology than I could ever imagine. Sure, the winter soldier had flown any type of vehicle known to man, but for Bucky, this was new.