Ariana Imagines

#145: The Three Words

(haven't done one of these in a while) Ariana's POV: 

We all laugh as my friend chugs a complete can of beer at 11 in the morning. One of my long dragged out laughs gets slowly interrupted by her stare across the room. She woke up earlier than everyone else, she has on her leather jacket and blue jeans. She has a beer herself. 

She looks so badass, and I'm in my pj's still. We all begin to get ready for our adventures around town before the concert tonight. 

I put on a black skirt and some random crop top, I decide to try something a little different and put on my friends black boots. I did like them but it's mostly to get attention. I know how she likes her girls, and I want her to like me. 

When I walk out, I only look for her eyes. Her eyes are stuck on my body and I blush. We all end up in the car. She's sitting behind me with a cigarette hanging out of the window. 

- 

She's had a girlfriend for a while, but she's attending school back in her hometown and she decided to come with us. As much as it's terrible of me, I like her and I always have. The thing is they've been together for a long time, and I only a while ago came to terms with my sexuality. 

Our friends as per usual, are jumping around everywhere and being loud and crazy as we walk down the street. Y/N's been weirdly quiet lately. I can't help but think it has something to do with her girlfriend. 

I hit her playfully on her arm, she turns to face me. "You okay?" I ask. 

"Yeah." she smiles. My heart melts and I awkwardly turn away walking forward. We reach the tattoo shop and my best friend gets under the needle. All us five looking around the epic shop and watching her get the tat. I start looking at the book that has tattoo designs and I get the feeling of a body right beside mine. 

"Thinking of getting one?" Y/N asks, and my stomach fills with butterflies. I turn and smile and shake my head, "No. You?" I ask back. She also shakes her head, "I need approval from back home." she raises her eyebrows. 

"Girlfriend?" I ask knowing that she's not close to family. "Mhm.." she hums looking at the book as I look at her face. "Well, that's dumb. You should be able to get whatever you want. It's your body." I say and instantly realize afterwards that I shouldn't have opened my mouth. But I didn't even notice I had till afterwards. I wanted to apologize but I couldn't. Though, she was laughing. So hard and I couldn't understand why. 

"You're right." she manages to say. Then she crosses her arms and shakes her head. "I wouldn't anyway." I'm still stuck standing there awkwardly. 

"Hey come look!" my best friend says behind us on the chair. We both turn back. 

-

We're all backstage, my friend is going on stage in thirty minutes. I'm sitting on the couch and it's just me and my friend who's going to perform. 

"You nervous?" I ask trying to start the usual pre-show conversation. "Aren't you missy? You're gonna be coming in at the end." she winks through the mirror. We go on with talking about the stage. Out of nowhere she asks:

"So are you gonna kiss her or what?" I open my eyes widely at her and with a smirk she turns around and leans back onto the mirror. We both know who she's talking about. "No way, I can never kiss her. One, she's intimidating. Two, she has a girlfriend. I don't want to be the one to.. I don't know.. If she kisses me then it would be her choice." 

"Mistake?" she rings out. I give her a look. "Okay, well that's cheating." she says in an obvious tone. 

I put my hands on my head. Her hand goes to my shoulder. "Look I don't know, all I know is she is having problems with her girlfriend. Not saying do it, but she likes you dude." I bring my head up. 

"Really?" 

"YES!" she yells. 

"I can't." I say honestly sinking into the couch. "Fine, well if I were you, I would somehow let her know that you want her to kiss you. Or to let her know that you like her. That you are there. Without actually telling her." she says snapping her fingers than pointing at me in a silly way and I again give her a look. 

"Fine! I'm just saying.." she smiles and then leaves the room. 

-

Shortly after I leave the room and meet up with everyone else. When I see her I can tell my attitude has traveled a mood onto hers, she's seeming to get my feeling. I feel worn out, weirdly nervous but not because I'm going on stage. 

She pulls me aside. "Are you okay?" I answer honestly because I feel hopeless at this point. As much as she is a badass, she's not evil. More or so stupid. She wouldn't cheat. Not that I wanted her to, but somewhere deep inside me I know that I want her to leave her for me. And now I'm turning on myself for even feeling that. 

"What's wrong?" she asks looking worried. "I-I just I don't know." she looks for my eyes but they're stuck on the ground. She takes my hand and my heartbeat goes uncontrollable, we start going farther and farther away from people. We go into a room that's empty. 

We sit down, "Talk to me." she mumbles so sweetly. Her voice reminds me of lovely picnic, honey and fruit. It almost made me smile. 

"I just like someone. They don't like me back. Or maybe they do but.. Its complicated." she goes quiet waiting for me to go on. "I want them to see how much I care for them, and want them but I can't." I finally look up into her eyes. "It would make me feel.. Terrible."

"Bittersweet." she whispers taking in my every word and in her eyes I can see that she knows. My skin gets overcome with goosebumps and my stomach is killing me. I nod my head as she's leaning in, my heartbeat is going wild. 

She than slowly moves backwards and I don't seem to notice as all the feelings still won't leave me. 

"I'm sorry Ariana." I just stepped back into reality and my eyes are on her lips. The three words sink in and I can feel my body wash over with something but I don't know what. She kisses my forehead.

"I can't."