Ariana Imagines

#7: New York

(AN): This is the second part to "Ever Since New York" which is imagine five. This part takes place a few days earlier than the first part of this 2 part imagine. Enjoy.

Y/N's POV:

New York was my happy place. I always wanted to live in big cities and New York was definetly a dream. And now that I got the money from music, I bought a house here. "Hey." I say as I see Ariana and give her a quick peck on the cheek than walk into the kitchen. "Hey." I hear her say lowly. She's been here for two days. They've been great. Nobody expected Ariana to be coming to New York. Nobody knew she was coming to meet her girlfriend either, me. Nobody knew about us, our relationship has been secretly going on for a little over six months now. Shockingly, we haven't gotten caught or have been coming out as a couple publicly. The relationship was well, It could be better. The spark we had in the beginning had faded. I would think about her a lot, if I should leave her or if I should try making things better. Of course, I'm going to try to make things better. I want her happy, I hope the best for her always, but sometimes I think we aren't the best together. Maybe I'm wasting her time.

I was so glad she came out to see me. We usually don't have much time together, mostly because we are scared of getting caught. Well she is, she isn't ready to be in a public lesbian relationship yet. I understand that, she just came out as bisexual earlier in the month. I just don't like my relationships public. I had a whole day planned to see if that spark could come back.

"Do you want some cereal?" I ask pouring milk into my bowl. She chuckles "Sure." I nod and get her a bowl. We eat in silence as I study her face. Thinking if she feels the same way, maybe I'm boring for her. Maybe I fucked up. I don't want to leave her, I don't want her to leave me, but it feels right. I want us to be happy, I don't know if this is happy. I care for her a lot, she's made me feel good a lot of times before. She is a very good person. She is very beautiful, very perfect. Maybe I'm bad at love. She catches me staring and she blushes. Maybe she got the wrong idea. "I got a great day planned." I tell her. "What are we doing?" she says a little worried. "Well, I was thinking we can bring our friends over to play some games. Than I can take you out for dinner tonight." I know it was dumb. The friends idea was to give me time to think. I needed to think about us. At dinner, I would try to spark something or feel something.

"Okay, where are we going to dinner?" she asks chewing on her cereal bits. "Per Se." it was a very fancy place with places we can hide in. I had a reservation in a more secret place where most people won't be able to see us. "What about paps?" she asks worried. "It's okay, dress not so fancy and we'll be sneaky. We've never been caught before." she nods. The next hours with friends consist of video games and board games also a lot of thinking. Our friends left after a long time and it was time for dinner. I felt a little nervous, but it's for the best. We got into the car and it was a quick ride to the restaurant. We got out of the car and sped walk into the restaurant with our heads down. We got confronted by the waiter and immediatly knew it was us and escorted us to the back. Their was almost no one there. We sat down across from eachother, my heart seemed to be beating uncontrollably. We ordered our drinks and food and were silent. "When do you have to be back in LA?" I ask just for conversation. "In a day or two. Depends." she says. I nod.

We have small talk nothing cute, no spark. I feel empty and scared, I care for her. I don't want to break her heart, but she really makes me think that she feels the same way. Food arrives early and we eat in silence. Their has been no sign of being caught or paparrazi so I guess we're good. Dinner went by quickly mostly for the reason that I want to get it over with. I picked my option, I'm gonna break up with her.

Almost like a flash we are back at my condo. She's laying on the couch talking about how much she's eaten. I nervously set down my keys and walk towards her sitting next to her. "Babe," I say trying to catch her attention. I curse myself mentally for calling her that name. I don't want to mix her thoughts up. "we should talk... about us. I don't think this is gonna work." I say bluntly. She studies my face her lips are slightly parted and her eyes make it seem like she has no soul. "I'm sorry, but look at us. We are a dying couple. I care for you so much, you have no idea. That's why I decided that we should... break up." Her eyes begin to water, my eyes widen at her reaction. She doesn't shed a tear though. "Y-Y/N, you want to break-up with me." I am about to speak but I think about it first. I just nod slowly. We are silent for a while. "Maybe we can try again, but for now we both need a break-" I say for comfort. "I should go." she says before I can say anything else. She gets up and doesn't meet with my eyes anymore. She grabs her things and walks to the door. "Ariana please just listen to me." I had more to say but she was already gone. I was gonna go after her but I just let her go. Fuck.

- The next day. -

I had been texting her and calling but no response. I wasn't expecting her to answer, I knew she wouldn't, but I still tried. I wanted to know if she was okay, I wanted to hear her voice, I wanted talk with her. I didn't know how I was feeling, I felt lost. Maybe regretful.. I just let go of a perfectly good woman. Was it right? Fuck, I miss her. Suddenly I get a text I check quickly and nervously. But, it's not Ariana. It's my friend and she sent me a picture of me and Ariana when we went out for dinner yesterday. They caught us.

- Few days later. -

  Still nothing. She needs time, I get it. But, these days have been horrible. I haven't eaten and I can't sleep. I fucking miss her. I realized something else, I love her. The internet was going crazy from the pictures and I couldn't care. All I could think about was her. It was late night now, the last call was going to be made. It's been so long trying to call her, I hate to say it but I'm giving up. She doesn't love me, she's hurt, I fucked up, I made her mad, I fucked it all up. I shouldn't have done it. I call her the sound of the ringing makes me nervous. I pray that she answers. Suddenly the ringing stops along with my heart. She picked up. "Hello?" her soft voice says. "Hey." I reply quick. "H-Hey." she stutters her voice sounding unsure.  She sounds so fucking good, I missed her voice. But it's different. "I had fun in New York for most of the time. It was really nice. But, we should talk. I fucked up." why did I say that? Gosh I am so fucking dumb. She was silent for seconds. "Ari, I fucked up. I miss you, I shouldn't have done that. I know you think I'm crazy and stupid and that's because I am. You have every right to deny me b-but I fucking-" she interupts. "Y/N I understand your feelings. Your confused, that's why we need time, you're right." she says in a sweet tone. "No I fucking love you. I didn't realize it because I was so blind but I love you." I almost yell. It turns silent.

  "I'm so so sorry..." I mumble almost on the verge of tears. "I-I-" she stutters "It's okay, you don't feel the same. I hurt you, didn't I?"

  "No, I love you too. So much."