Ariana Imagines

#144: She's Back

I was in a daze for days once I saw her poster hanging on the walls of my city. She was coming to perform, an old flame who shared her talents to the world. Undeniably, she has always been talented. I would know, we had a little thing in high school. She was popular. Of course our relationship was always kept secret, she was supposed to be dating one of the jocks or something like that.

I'm not going to her concert but my stomach feels uneasy and my mind seems off. Flashes are coming back to me in strange forms, randomly and unevenly. I thought I forgot about her or at least I tried hard to, but I hadn't realized till this very moment how much emotion I still have for her. It's been a long time, and we separated in peace,

and now here we go again. 

- day of concert - 

In order to get my mind off tonight, imagining her smile as she dances and her epic high notes, I went to the nearby theater. Some random horror movie starts to play and I settle in my seat with the popcorn all alone. 

The movie goes on with its random not needed scenes and characters, then a blurry plot all because my head wasn't a hundred percent there. People are coming in late, without even thinking I let people go over my legs to the seats past mine. Someone sits next to me and I smell a vanilla fragrance, maybe a raspberry. 

"Hi, you like horror movies eh?" the person asks beside me. Fantastic, another helpless person. I just hum in response continuing to watch the screen without a hint of kindness in my tone. 

"You always have."  I look beside me and I find the familiar short girl, without makeup, with no fancy stage outfit or fashionable attire, nothing that speaks one of the biggest pop stars out there. Now sitting next me, although she still beats me in beauty, seems so normal. I never saw her that way, but looking at her now it seems so. I'm stuck. She was always doing something that made her seem special and fucking beautiful, hell, in school when she walked down the halls was my daily entertainment. She's always in the spotlight, and I've never seen her this way. No matter the many times we messed around. 

 "What are you doing here?" I whisper. She looks down into the darkness where my feet would be and it's as if she just realized she had come to me. "I-I want to see you." she looks up into my eyes with her big brown mixed ones. We stare in each other's eyes for a long while, I could see something's bothering her. I always could figure out what she's feeling just by looking at her, it doesn't shock me one bit that I can still do it now. I take everything in about her when I'm with her, her habits, her body language, her fucking everything. 

"Let's get out of here." I say and we get up and start walking out of the theater. 

We start walking on the sidewalk that is a little emptied out due to the late night. I dig my hands in my pockets and look at the ground, she's holding her purse and pulling back the part of the sweater that keeps dropping off her shoulder. 

"What's wrong?"I ask not even bothering to ask, 'How'd you find me?' or 'How'd you know I'd be here?' just worried about her. She's looking at the ground too, my heart is at an awkward calm. That same calm I get when I'm trying to help. "I've been going a little crazy lately, I just haven't been myself. I have not one to talk to, if I do, I don't like what they say. They don't say the right things.. Unlike you." she says looking up to me at the end. She stops walking, so I do too. She's got wide eyes as she realizes what she said. 

She looks up again and brings her hands together in front of her, "I'm sorry this is so random and uncalled for. It's been so long huh?" she chuckles trying to lighten the mood. 

"Yes it has." I answer lowly. She slowly starts walking again and I can tell she's thinking hard so I don't say anything else. 

"I feel bad for how I treated you before." she says. I give her a confused look and she goes on, "I mean with my reputation and all, and all the hiding and you probably thought I was ashamed..." she mumbled. I shake my head, "I appreciate what you've given me. You're time and care. Even though I know you couldn't show it aloud so to speak, I felt it. And I hope it was the same from me." I say truthfully.  She smiles at me, and I smile back and I can feel a breeze of ease come over us. 

We go silent for a little. 

"What about that concert tonight?" I ask and she looks like she just remembered it even existed. She shrugs, "I called it off. With all the terrible feelings, I needed this." she smiles again. 

"Why else are you feeling bad?" I ask and she takes a deep breath. "I just- I miss you. I don't know why I suddenly miss you, it feels horrible because it's been so long and.. You probably don't care-" 

"I do." I interrupt. "But I just feel so guilty-" 

"Don't." I say stopping us in our walking again. "I just hate myself because of it and I'm sorry to-" 

"I loved you Ariana, everything you gave to me was enough to get me to that point. If I didn't I wouldn't be here listening to you. If it brings you to ease, I accept your apology. But you don't need to apologize." I say and her eyes go from my own to the ground than scan all over my face. "You did?" 

"Yes." I answer and she nervously giggles very quietly and smiles. She looks up at me again. "I did too." she says. I nod, "I know you did." she playfully hits my arm, but I'm secretly serious. I knew she loved me, when she was kissing him I knew she loved me, when she held his hand down the hall too. 

"Can you kiss me?" she asks going on her tippy toes as I tower over her. I swallow and look over her beautifully bare face. 

"You sure?" I ask stupidly but trying to reassure myself. 

"Please Y/N." she pleads leaned in close. I take her in and slowly crash my lips onto hers. Like a flower coming undone petal to petal. 

It was quite quick, but it felt long. So many memories coming back of us, the touches, the laughs, the secret long glares. In the moment, I remembered everything. I open my eyes and inf hers still closed, a small smile glowing on her face. I get scared when she opens her eyes, it looks like she's gonna thank me, and I don't want that. I should be the one doing it. 

I don't realize the gravity of the situation but it's very tender. This was so out of the blue, could this even be right? We're quiet again. 

My hand reaches out, I want to feel something. I let my fingers softly graze the top of her hand that is hanging down beside her. Than I circle my hand around and take ahold of it, but so slowly as if I'll hurt her. When I look up quickly at her face, she's looking at our hands with a smile. I look down too. 

"So what now?" I say lowly. She shrugs with a sigh of relief. "Can you.. Take me home with you?" I let my eyes dart on the ground and focus besides our hands. A cheeky smile surely now visible on my face. I look up at her begging eyes, I want to gently hold her and deal with her gently and that's all. I want to be the most careful with her, to show her now what I wish I would've shown her more then, to handle her with ease and precision to not hurt her, to let her know how much I love her, as if not to break her body of glass. 

She's Back, and all I can do is just that.