Ariana Imagines

#72: Numbers

'Dear David,

   Like you've said before, we can't do this. You're a busy man with kids, I'm just a naive child. I'm sorry I don't answer your calls but I'm so nervous to speak to you, I hope this makes up for it. Anyway, don't bother to come and meet me. Stay with your kids, they need you much more than I do.

Sincerely, Y/N."

I couldn't believe that I had to write this and mail it. I'm a senior in highschool messing with an adult man, I couldn't handle it anymore. I dropped it in his front yard and started jogging to school. When I arrived the people kept staring at me, but I always say 'they aren't staring at you, they only stare if you want them too' it was true. I had a feeling that every single one of them knew about my affair. I was embarrassed, but I knew no one really knew. It wasn't possible. Maybe they knew about one or two but not my most regretful. A man with kids and a wife, he was very stunning. But it was impossible, I felt myself catching feelings and I had to let go. No one knew except me and him.

"Hey, what are you gonna do this weekend?" I feel the small girl next to me slightly go against my arm. I look to see Ariana, we've been messing around too. I suddenly feel even worse at my stomach, if Ariana found out she would kill me. I told her about the 'no strings attatched' rule as I tell everyone, she didn't follow. "Just-" the bell rings loudly interrupting me. People start rushing past us. I decided to wait till it gets quiet. I lead her to my class as hers is also near mine. Finally we stop and the hallway is empty. I bring my arms around her, I'll take the time to regret it later but right now I need a hug. "What's wrong?" she mumbles against my neck. "I just- It's not a good day." I sigh. "Do you want to talk about it later?" she says rubbing her hand on my back. "Maybe, I don't know. Will you come over tonight?" I rest my head on her shoulder. "Yeah of course." she says lifting me up. "Okay." I say finally separating us. "Okay?" she says smiling reassuringly. "Okay." I say kissing her forehead. "I'll talk to you later." she says I nod and start walking to my class.

-

"Hey." I say opening the door and letting her into my home. Full of sight-seeing activity photos with family, bands of sorts, and records that haven't been touched in months. She's seen my place many times before, the surroundings don't amaze her. "Hi, how are you? Better?" she asks taking off her jacket, I take it and put it near the door. "Slightly." I couldn't lie I felt the same as before. Maybe worse now that've got my own time by myself to mourn. "Do you want dinner?" I ask leading her into the kitchen. "No it's alright." she says leaning over the table. I watch as she reads my face with her eyes. "Do you want to talk about it over cuddling?" she says slightly smiling. I nod feeling even more sleepy at the thought of cuddling.

   I grab her hand and take her upstairs to my bedroom, we both slide into the bed. Her arms go around me and I look off into the in the room. I sigh against her, I felt warm and a little less tense. "Talk to me." she mumbles. This was gonna be harder than I imagined. Her fingers start circling around my exposed skin, the way she always does before we make love. "Well, I thought I could handle things but I couldn't. I just feel a little worn out and stupid that's all." she rests one hand up on her elbow to try to look at my face. I look to find her eyebrows knitted together. "About?" she brings her hand up to my hair putting it to a side and I start getting annoyed with the touching. I sit up in bed and face her and her face shows even more confusion. "Your not the only one," shes silent. "I got other people to worry about and I fucked up." she nods. "Well," she says getting off the bed. "I get it. You shouldn't be doing that to me, using me as medicine." I get up along with her to follow her downstairs.

"I need someone, someone who actually cares about me. I have no one!" she turns around furiously at me. "That's your own doing, you shut out the only person who cares about you then? Well your right, you have no one." she walks out of the door quickly hanging on to all her things.