Do I have to choose? (BTS x Ftm Reader)

Chapter 15

Little Sinners, a little longer until our debut date would be announced. Excitement coursing through our veins without second thought. Would we be loved for us? Instead of for Bangtan or TxT? I wasn't sure at all.

"Jin Hyung," Seok was on the phone again. Recently we've been really close with Seokjin. He kept hanging around, and giving us support. I'm not complaining, but he should be using his days off to rest. The phone call was short, enough to catch my attention in the practice mirror. "Sunbae-nim said to take a break already (Y/n)," G's strong voice resonated through the bright room as the music died out.

I'm not sure how many hours I'd been here, but the Hyungs came to make sure I wasn't over working myself as usual. I needed to perfect the choreo though. I didn't want to rest until it was completely flawless. After watching our video a a dozen times I realized how behind I was. I needed to perfect it. For them I needed to do it correctly no matter what."Just a little long-" "You said that an hour ago." I was cut off instantly by Sin who stood to stretch his arms.

I wanted to protest but I knew better at this point. They'd personally pin me to the floor to take a breather if I tried to continue practice. I guess it was always like this with them. If I was anxious, they'd try to calm me. If I was being a perfectionist, they would support me in all the right ways. If I wasn't eating, they'd feed me. So on and so forth, they took care of me.

And Seokjin does as well, that stupid old man. So stupidly handsome. Good grief.

"(Y/n), your phone is ringing," as I take a seat Luka slides me the noisy device. On the lit screen the name 'Tae Tae' presented itself, and I almost squealed.

My Christmas miracle boy always seems to call at the right times.

I'm not sure when we became such good friends, but we try our hardest to text at least twice a day. Even if we miss each other due to our schedules, we leave messages for the other. There was once a time I teased him about never seeing his face, so for all I knew he was a creepy old man. But he was sweet about it and teased back. Answering, I greet him and shoo away my hyungs. "Ah, my Tae. What's up?" The others teased me in the background as I listen to his sweet voice. "I wanted to hear my little bird, but he seems to have a lot of boys around."

My face felt hot, I'm not sure why I was getting so embarrassed. But I pushed it back. "My hyungs are annoying. I'm sorry about them," the others quieted down at my remark before grumbling and dispersing to their own end of the room. "Ah, I see. Then perhaps you're free now?" Free?  I panic a bit, not sure how to respond to him but words seemed to spill out on their own. "Free? Now? Yeah, i'm totally free. I have no life, why would I have plans? Hahaha." Oh that deserves a serious face palm, but I keep my cool before I hear him chuckle. My hyungs yelled in the background guaranteeing that my schedule had been free for the day. "If you want to pick him up for a date, we'll pretty him up for you!" Bae was the first idiot I could properly understand, and I think Tae did too when I hear him laugh a bit louder. There was something so familiar about it but I couldn't put my finger on it because I was too busy swatting at the other boys in the room. "Alright, you go get dolled up for me, and send me the address."

Before I could respond a silent click reached my ear, signalling that he had already ended the call. I was covered in goosebumps now. A date?  What was I going to do? I look over to the other guys, but they were already off doing other things. My arms wrap around Sin's waist, and I groan loudly into his back as he attempts to concentrate on his phone call. "Sunbae-nim, I need help. Do you think we could borrow something to wear?" Judging by the fact that he's asking for clothing, he's on the phone with Hoseok.  Who questions the random request to infiltrate his wardrobe. "(Y/n) has a date, and he needs to look ni-" I snatch the phone from his hands and put the receiver to my ear quickly. "Ignore him, he's stupid. It's not a date, i'm just meeting a friend that I haven't seen in a long time." Hoseok stayed silent on the other end before I heard shuffling. "Do you want to borrow something? I don't mind," his voice wasn't as bubbly as usual but I shrug it off. Not everyone can be perfect all the time. "I guess, if you're fine with it."

Within the hour Hoseok was in the practice room with quite a few hangers of clothing. "You're small so I figured something bright with long sleeves would be appealing," he states flatly while holding a yellow sweater to me.  "It's not a date, I don't need to be appealing."  huffed it out before crossing my arms. They were making me more nervous.I never really thought i'd be in a room full of attractive men attempting to dress my gay ass up, and sending me off to yet another attractive man. Did I make god happy somehow? Am I being punked?

"Here, change into this," Hoseok dropped an orange loose fitting shirt into my hands with white belt detailed with dangling chains. I nodded, and attempted to step away to change in a different room but he stopped me in my tracks. "It's chest your chest, we're all guys it's okay."Yup, that stings. I was so happy that I passed well enough for him to say it so casually, but I knew better than to change in front of him. My dysphoria would double and who knows how he would react. How they would all react. Sin shoves me forward regardless towards the door, and babbles out something about me being really shy. Freeing me to quickly change without Hoseok questioning me. 

Hoseok's pov

"Shy?" As if that wasn't something I already knew. (Y/n) gets nervous alone texting me back, I've noticed the repetitive typing chat bubbles that flickered on and off when he couldn't figure out how to reply. Or how his ears turn pink when he makes eye contact. It's honestly cute. He makes me excited to come back home after tours. "Yeah... There's something he won't tell any of us but until then we brush it off as he's just to socially awkward about basic guy things." Seok shrugged, and took a seat on the floor to wait. 

When (Y/n) did come back in, he looked absolutely adorable. The orange made his skin look a bit tanner, and complimented his rounder features. I liked it, but at the same time this didn't seem like something he'd wear. "Next one, try this," this pattern continued for a good while before the striped print of a brand new shirt I have yet to wear caught my eye. Without even commenting on the  sweatshirt he had put on this time I slipped the fabric into his hands with a smile. The shirt was a loose material, black and white striped with bright purple roses lining the arms. The sleeves just barely allowed view of his hands, and I couldn't look away. Seeing him look so cute made me wish I was the friend he was meeting today for a date. I was jealous of this whole situation for a lot of reasons it seemed. "Is this one okay?" He fidgeted as me and the rest of his group nod. "You look great (Y/n)~"

My phone began to ring, and I excused myself as the boys spoke.  "Hello?" "HYUNG! I need help!" Taehyung's voice alarms me, and I nearly jump from his sudden shout. "What is it, Tae?" I sigh knowing it probably isn't an emergency. "I'm meeting someone today, and I'm not sure what to do..." I lift my brow, and sneak a peek over to (Y/n) who is typing to someone on his on phone. "Who are you meeting?"

"A friend, we haven't seen each other in a long time."

"A friend?"

"...Hyung, it's a date. Atleast I think it is. I'm so nervous, and don't know what to do or say. What if I make a fool of myself."

"If you're friends, you'll be fine," I tried to reason with the younger and settle him down. His nervousness seemed to be even reaching me as I clear my throat.

"Hoseokie... he doesn't know who I am... What if my (Y/n) sees me differently?"

My phone seemed to no longer be in my hand as it clatters on the floor loudly. My (Y/n)?