Do I have to choose? (BTS x Ftm Reader)

Chapter 36

Yoongi pov

Tired was an understatement the longer we drag ourselves around. Yet I was glad that our music was making such an impact. I can't always understand Army's languages, and I'm not always feeling the greatest. I feel I could do better. I can be better. But they except me as is. I see their praises online, I feel the love from the crowds while we are on stage and I couldn't be happier when I know they think I'm doing just fine as is.

So the tour isn't the worst time of my life.

A few shows here, meeting people there and concerts in between. It's an exciting time. Tiring, but very worth it in the end.

All morning we got to enjoy a decent break. Being able to eat out, and take a stroll was great before we needed to prep. I guess once you're used to it though, things just fly by so quickly. One minute I'm trying on multiple suits the next im slumped in the hotel elevator with a coffee tray in my hands.

I was hoping to catch Daejung and (Y/n) before they go off on any adventures in the city. Even grabbed them some drinks on the way in hopes to actually have a decent conversation with them. We're together all the time, but next to everyone else I haven't really gotten to know the Little Sinner duo.

Im their hyung at this point. Why shouldn't I try to be a bit more friendly?

The elevator comes to a stop and opens its doors to the boy's floor that seemed eerily silent. Without too much thought I step out, making my way towards their room.

Try actually talking to them, Yoongi. It won't be that bad.

I approach the door ready to knock, but a "What do you mean by that?" startles me. It sounded like (Y/n), and he was a bit loud.

"I don't mean anything bad by it! I just... Look, trust me when I say when getting to know you it's hard not to feel something."

That was definitely Daejung's voice, and i realize I might've stumbled into a conversation i'm not supposed to hear. But for some reason I can't move.

"Have you not noticed it, (Y/n)? Every guy or girl who has met you somehow gets caught up in wanting to be close to you. It's not a bad thing, but you don't seem to notice it all."

I couldn't tell the context of anything that was being said. At first it seemed to be a desperate love confession, but now I'm just lost. Though I shouldn't even be listening. This is so strange.

"I know... Okay, I know. Ever since Seokjin brought me back to BigHit I've only made more, and more friends," (Y/n) sounded defeated. Tired of so much without even saying what.  "All my life I've been an outcast with no one by my side. My parents disowned, and abandoned me for my dreams as a child for god sake. Im so used to being alone that I don't really understand how others feel about me. I'm sorry, Daejung."

Every muscle in my body froze. All these months I've watched (Y/n) smile, joke around, live like he didn't even know the definition of any other feeling other than happy. There's been the occasional staring off into space, but this... It was really amazing to hear someone apologize for not understanding people.

I was anxious, my heart was definitely pounding as I knocked on the door briefly. There was no plan, I just needed to look (Y/n) in the eye for a moment. Just a moment. When the door opens it's Daejung with a smile, and I simply hand him the coffee tray. "I brought these for you," I breathe out while sliding into the room. No plan, none. I don't know why I was so nervous, or in such a rush.

I walk over to the bed where (Y/n) sat and stand at the foot. Now what? They both looked as confused as I felt. I just stormed in their room with coffee saying really nothing at all. Good going, Min. Quietly, I sit beside (Y/n) without making any eye contact like I wanted to.

This whole moment became more chaotic than it needed to be, and I wasn't sure what else to do so I turn to look at him. "Can I hug you, (Y/n)?" He looked shocked, but he nodded slowly in agreement. I was still nervous. I heard things i wasn't supposed to, and yet some how... I feel a lot closer to him in a way a lot of people may not understand. My arms wrap around his frame slowly before pulling him into a full embrace.

Me, and Bangtan have been close for a long time. Even though we spend every day together we still learn new things about each other so often. We could fight, we could cry and be toughing it out alone but we always remember that we have each other. I guess hearing that someone else who has felt so alone doesn't understand what that's like scared me. Lots of people find happiness somehow. Those who don't usually suffer great fates that terrify me in ways I can't describe. Yes, (Y/n) has his friends who understand him. He has people he is close to, and he genuinely cares about. But there's different levels to emotional health, and the way he was talking about his own level of understanding made me realize its hard sometimes. I know that even in a sea of people, someone could still be lonely and you'd never know it because they are just that good at pretending.

"You don't have to pretend to understand how other people feel, but you aren't alone anymore."