Do I have to choose? (BTS x Ftm Reader)

Chapter 24

Daejung pov

"(Y/n), I'm going to take care of you, okay?" Whether he could hear me or not was debatable. He looked so small, and frail that it was scary to me. We just sat in that hallway until his breathing relaxed. I pushed everyone away from touching him, and picked him up. A hospital isn't what he'd want or need. I've heard those kind of cries before, I'd recognize them anywhere. (Y/n) had a panic attack. What it was caused by, I'm not sure but he'd feel a lot worse if anyone knew about his 'differences'. That's why no one can touch him, no one can take him to a hospital. If they did, he'd be found out and that is the last thing he needed right now.

When I did pick him up, Yoongi offered his room as a place to take (Y/n) for the time being. The rest of LS waved a sad 'good-bye', and I turned away from them to walk down the hall. His body was so light even though it seemed almost lifeless. He was sweating though. Sadly, sometimes attacks can lead to nightmares or internal stress that makes resting hard. This includes messing with your breathing. I only know this stuff because my little sister went through it all when we were kids. It's scary to see, much worse to experience.

A realization hit me as I slowly wiped away his sweat from his forehead. This only made things harder.

His binder...

Options being weighed; I could take it off of him with a chance of him panicking again due to dysphoria, or I can leave it and let him suffer the consequences. My better judgement said to take it off. Hands tremblings, I ran my finger tips under his shirt slowly. I needed to know what kind of binder it was, and how I was going to get it off. Clasps, a zipper, I just needed something to tell me what I was dealing with.

There was nothing. Which meant it was a pull over. I gulped down hard. I don't want to induce this kind of anxiety on him when he wakes up and realizes, but it needs off. I stand to make sure the door is locked. The last thing we need is someone coming in. My feet pad back over to the bed he's laying in. "I'm really sorry," my fingers hook to the bottom of his shirt. I will it up slowly while using my arm to pull him into a sitting position. The shirt is up and over his head in no time. No big deal.

Then there's this part....

I'm not sure how many hours I stayed cuddled up to (Y/n). But when dinner was done Seokjin knocked on the door asking me to come out. I complied, silently slipping out of bed. "How is he?" The senior peeked his head in to look at the small boy. "He's fine. He just needed rest, and space." "What happened earlier Daejung? I've never seen anything like that before," Seokjin furrowed his brows at me and I sighed. "Let's head to the dining room so I can explain..."

Everyone eyes shot up to me quickly. Disappointment was easy to read on every face, but I couldn't blame them. I'm handed a plate of food as I take a seat at the end of table. I just barely sit the dish down when a voice calls out. "So? What was that?" The voice's owner being Taehyung, his face looked extremely pained. "It was a panic attack. A full blown, heart wrenching bitch of a panic attack. Those can happen to the best of us," when I said this everyone seemed to nod slowly in understanding. "But why couldn't any of us help? You literally smacked us away." Jeongguk leaned on his forearms, his tongue pressed to the inside of his cheek as he spoke. I take a few bites of food, and try to give myself time to think of a decent answer. "Because I don't like crowding or unfamiliar touches when I'm like that. I can't see, nor can I hear once I reach a certain point. It scares me more," I look up to find an exhausted looking (Y/n) standing in the doorway. He was wearing a large shirt I didn't recognize, and he somehow looked a lot thinner than he did earlier. Everyone seemed to light up knowing he was finally awake. They were quickly waving him over to join us like excited children.

"Hoseok-ah, I took something from your closet if you don't mind," (Y/n) sat beside me with a bit of a whine to his voice. His head rested on my shoulder, the boy basically clinging like a koala to me while I tried to eat. This was something Luka was more likely to do, but I guess there was no reason to complain. "Are you hungry?" Seokjin stood to go get another plate without even waiting for an answer. Classic dad move. "Sin, could I have a bite?" (Y/n) tugged on my sleeve like a small child, and just as I was about to give him some of ky food he was pulled away. A plate was dropped in front of him and an irritated looking Hoseok had some how wedged between us.

"Fucking helicopter dad."

(Y/n) picked at his plate before pushing it away with a loud groan. The boy was being very moody, and I'm not sure how to handle that. I don't think any of us knew. "I don't want any. Kookie~ Let's go play a game," it didn't take very much for the two Maknaes to get up and disappear into another room. "Hey! You guys barely touched your food!" Seokjin chased after them, and as did most of the group. I personally just gave up to finish my dinner. I was just glad (Y/n) was feeling better, that's all that really mattered to me.

"Boy with luv? More like Boy with a losing streak! I'm beating you more than Halsey looks into Jimin's eyes!" From the other room I could hear the fun shouts of games being won or lost, and the excitement of the youngest not panicking anymore. It sounded so happy and natural. I was glad. "Daejung! Come here!"

"I'm coming, hold on."

What bothered me though... Bangtan was starting to act really weird and I was getting concerned about their tour. I understand they need actual rest, but it's more than them acting tired. Let's just hope things get better, because I'm not sure I can handle them being so irritable.