Miss You Already - SwanQueen

Part 4

Everything was just getting too much, despite the girls both getting everything. Emma was loved by her husband and living her life to the fullest with her family, until she was told that the cancer had officially spread and would need treatment.

Regina, well, she is officially pregnant but her boyfriend is soon to be leaving for his long work and missing out on this amazing step of their relationship. How was Regina possibly going to go through this pregnancy alone? Except she wouldn't be alone if she told Emma.

***
~Regina POV~

As I sit at my office desk I hear my phone dialling. Obviously it's Emma and I have no choice but to answer, there's never a choice when it comes to Emma, or so I thought.

"Hi"

"Hey, What are you up to at lunch time?" Emma asks, but her tone is somewhat different, lower and more... sad.

"working lunch" I let down but that's the hardest thing to do to my Emma. I can't cancel work though.

"Oh ok." She huffs with disappointment through the phone and I can almost sense the tension and pain stringing through her heart. Somethings wrong.

"Everything okay?" I question.

But that's when I forcefully make time for Emma. She needs me, that much is evident by her tone, so I will be there no matter what. I head to her place to visit her after work to see her folding her laundry.

And that's when she strongly tells me everything, finally after keeping it secret and cooped up for so long. She needed me most and didn't sense anything wrong. I feel like such a rubbish friend.

"Emma" I sympathise, worrying about her like I do always. "You found out a week ago? And you haven't told Killian?" I scold her, she shouldn't be going through this alone, she needs others to help her and the longer she keeps it from her husband, the longer it will destroy all of them.

"I have to have chemotherapy right away, I'm going to bald" she gulps, hiding her feeling and appearing physically and emotionally stronger than she actually is. I see her true emotions and I se how much this is killing her.

Why wouldn't it? She has a husband, 2 amazing children, a great job, and cancer? Seriously? Who wouldn't be emotional at this stage? I'd be crying all day everyday. I'd be lost.

"Lots of people are bald" I shrug, trying not to appear sympathetic or give her 'the eyes'. If she's strong, I need to be too. She needs to laugh through all of this and have fun. She shouldn't let cancer strip her down to nothing. She still needs to be herself.

"Men are bald, babies, E.T" she shrugs, as she folds her t-shirt and places it in the wash basket, and that's when I realise how deeply this is affecting her. She never does the laundry, Killian always does it. It seems she needs distractions. "Not me"

"They might have to take my tits away" she huffs with an eye roll, we all know how much she loves her boobs, I'm almost certain everyone on this world has seen her boobs and appreciate them. But if it has a chance of saving her, then we're going to take that chance.

"They haven't said that yet" I seem to be trying so hard to make this out to be easier than it is, to make her feel better and more confident, but I don't know how to react in this moment. I want to fall to the ground and cry but she needs me to be strong.

"Not for sure"

"how much cancer can you have?" I ask I just don't get how this has suddenly affected her. Surely it would have spread rather slowly, meaning she had sensed this for a while. "I mean, you've been to all your checkups" I shrug.

"Well- I've been busy" she winces, oh my gosh, she's skipped appointments, the most important appointments ever and she skips them.

"Oh Jesus" I huff with an eye roll. "How could the tumour have gotten so big?"

"It's aggressive. Like you. Jesus" she huffs in response. She finally stops doing her laundry and takes this a little more serious, finally connecting her eyes with mine and seeing the pain hitting me hard too. She's my best friend and I can't lie, I am terrified.

"Well is it contained?"

"In my body, yes"

"You should have gone back sooner" I moan, I just wish this wasn't happening to Emma. Why? Why? How could this be happening?

"Yeah, thanks. Hadn't figured that out" she pings back, crossing her arms over her perfect chest.

"You're right, that was a really stupid thing to say, I'm sorry" I vow.

"Is it too late?" Killian asks, coming around from the corner and looking at the two of us. I instantly tense and look to Emma who is shifting from one foot to another anxiously. Could he have overheard us? "To put these in the wash?" He asks lifting his pile of dirty laundry.

I cannot help but feel guilty. I've been worrying about my own problems far too much. My determination to become pregnant got the better of me, I forgot to check in with Emma as frequent as I used to. I guess that's why she's been so distant and didn't tell anyone from the start, because she had no one, because I wasn't a good enough friend when she needed me most.

Out of all the times I've seen Emma since her checkups I didn't sense anything? What kind of friend am I? A shit one that's for sure.

Now she's officially told me and I have to keep it a secret until she tells Killian, and her parents. I just wish this wasn't happening. I somewhat feel guilty for my pregnancy too: it was such bad timing, while Emma is going through the hardest and most difficult time, I'm pregnant, having my best time and something I've always wanted.

I guess that's why I couldn't tell her, because while she's being completely honest about her cancer and her rubbish life, I cannot admit how great mine is going despite the fact I know she would be happy for me.