Miss You Already - SwanQueen

Part 18

~ Regina PoV~

heavily pregnant sucks. Nobody put this in the brochure. The stabbing pains of every footstep. The consistent pee break in every cafe you walk past. The repetitive pauses you have in every walk. I cannot wait for this baby to get out of me. Pregnancy is torture. Oh look. Another cafe, I need a pee.

I head to the toilet, placing my bags at a table because while I'm here, why not get a drink. However when I come out there's a stern voice shouting at me for using the toilet.

"Toilets are for customers only!" The voice is groggy. Somewhat familiar but masked in a way.

I turn around and see ... Emma. So different, her own hair has grown back in such a scruffy way that looks flawless. So ragged and hot, so short and simple. It's gorgeous. Her glasses resting on her button nose that I love far too much. Her cheeks look slimmer, her jaw painfully thin. Her eyes full of illness and emotion and what's that? A cane... oh my god. I sense an upsetting catch up.

"My god" I appear shocked as my ex-best friend shows her presence. "You look so different"

"I am different" she shrugs. "Oh Regina I'm so sorry" she cries, her eyes getting watery as she hugs me tightly. I admit, avoiding her drama has been difficult but being in her arms is what I've missed the most.

"A cane?" I joke. "Seriously?" I tease because there is no friendship without humour. She laughs with an eye roll and takes a seat with a heavy sigh. "What?" I question knowing there's some dreadful conversation lurking around the corner.

"Metastatic brain tumour" she shrugs. "The consultant said he thought he could see some of them lurking behind my eyeballs. Like oysters. Raw, slimy oysters." She describes.

"Delicious" I giggle, I cannot be another one of those people giving her pity eyes like she's seriously ill.

"I'm legally blind also.." she rolls her eyes.

"Is that why you're wearing those" I laugh historically at the big black frames resting on her nose.

"New accessories" she models them well, pouting and pulling them down her nose to sexily push back up in a joking manner.

"How did you even get here?" I question. It's like 3 towns away.

"I drove" great. The legally blind ill woman drove three towns away to find me.

"Oh great" I laugh sarcastically. That probably wasn't the wisest choice of hers that she's had. Maybe I could drive her back if I wasn't heavily pregnant. "Why can't they just take the tumour out?" I shrug.

"They'd have to take my brain out" she scoffs.

"well, your tits, your brain" I shrug like it doesn't matter. There's not much more to lose. It's a joke, obviously. "Seriously, why can't you talk about radiotherapy or steroids or..."

"There's only so much they can do..." she cuts off. And that's when I have to accept that this is the end of her treatment. No more chemo, no more nurses, no more treatment. This is Emma. "My body's kind of just giving up."

Ironic, the only time me and Emma meet up again it's for the worst occasion, having to explain this terrifying disease she is experiencing alone. "Well, thanks for bringing me back for the good bits" I joke.

"Come here" She offers with her arms open wide. I crawl into her arms without a single hesitation, until finally she pulls back, connecting a hand on my cheek and her other on my overly grown bump.

"Your hair grew back so pretty" I coo as I take her short strands into my needy fingers. I'd be lying if I didn't say I want to kiss her right now. But it's not right? I can't get too close again to just lose her.

"What is happening with you?" She asks, oh wow she really is different. She never asks about anyone. I'm scared... where's the Emma I used to know. All I know is this Emma... the Emma sitting right in front of me... She's stealing my heart even quicker that the previous Emma.

"I erm... The baby got hurt... I had a fall after our argument." I inform and instantly she gasps with her head shaking from left to right.

"I'm so sorry" she takes my hand a caresses it slowly.

"How are things with Killian?"

"Things with kit...are mighty shit..." she sing songs using his hated nickname. I giggle and once my eyes open I see her staring so deeply into my orbs and all the love still lingers. There's a connection. A tide pulling me in, and before I know it, our lips are connected. Sealed together and slowly moving until I realise what I've done. "I'm sorry" she cringes as she worries about my relationship.

"Don't be... that was my fault" I smile, taking her hand. "I missed you Emma, and I was so close to actually having sex with you if I hadn't lied about the baby. Things aren't your fault they're mine. I should have told you about the baby: I should of told robin about how much I love you: I should have been honest to myself" I cry slightly but she is quick to wipe my eyes.

"Don't cry, because I'll cry." She smiles. "Don't blame yourself. I love you, more than anyone, and that baby should be mine. We should have our own home raising three kids, I want a life with you, I want the rest of my life to be with you but I understand that Robin is your life, so I step back, and I allow you to have your happiness."

"Robin isn't my happiness. He pulls me down, I want you so bad... but things are complicated. He's the father of my child"

I just wish things wasn't so complicated