Miss You Already - SwanQueen

Part 21

~Emma PoV~

This... of everything I've been through... this is what will break me.

"When you were born, my darling, I lay quietly..."

"After you'd had your 23 stitches" Scarlet interrupts and cuddles into my side all the more, while holding Reginas hand tightly.

"Yeah, after that" I smile. "I looked at you and I knew I love you more than anything else in the world" I vow, kissing her upon her forehead.

"More than Henry?" She grins, because that's what she hopes, but I love them equally.

"Well, The same as Henry, though he didn't actually exist at that point. I looked at you and I made you a promise." I tug her closer to me, maybe because I can't hold eye contact anymore, maybe because what I'm about to say will break the two of us. "I promised that, no matter what happened, I would always look after you. But the thing is, my darling..." I take a deep breath and look to Regina who has tears streaming down her face. She snakes her arm around my back which gives me the courage to continue. "I won't always be here to look after you"

"Why not?" Scarlet asks suspiciously, bolting away from my hug and strongly staring into my eyes.

"Well, mummy isn't getting better anymore" I slowly let out, instantly her eyebrows knit firmly together as she analyses everything I'm saying.

"But I thought that was what the chemo was for, and the pills. I thought it was all making you better" she shouts, I hear the pain in her voice, although I know she's fighting to hold it back, but she shouldn't have to for me.

"They worked for a little while, honey. But... they stopped making me better. So, er..." before I could finish what I was about to say, she's already cutting me off.

"You're not going to die though, are you?" She holds eye contact in challenge, but I can't find the truth, I can't find the words. There will be a day where I take my last breath, and it's sooner than I'd like but how do I tell my whole world that? I look to Regina and instantly scarlet sees us both crying, and that's the answer she got, without a single word being spoken. "No!" She yes and screens. "Whose going to look after us? What about when I grow up? When I need girl things?" She rants, as tears stream so rapidly down her blushed cheeks.

"Daddy will still be around..."

"Oh great!" She snaps.

"Nanna Miranda will be around, and so will Gina"

"I'll be around, no matter what, baby girl I'll always be there for you" Regina interrupts, tugging scarlet close to her.

After all of this, Scarlet refuses to think the worst, she begs for this to be a lie, but it's not. "You might not die"

"Oh ... my darling" I hold her in my embrace and rock her left to right for comfort. "You just have to know my spirit will always be with you."

"What are you talking about!" She snaps. "What does that even mean?" Her cries become harsher, to the point she stomps out of the room, but that's understandable, she needs space and time.

However time is not available to me anymore, it's time I get to the hospice and it's time I had my family helping.

"Did I do it right mum?" Scarlet asks. It's taken a rough week to understand and get used to this situation, but I don't blame her.

"That's very good folding, sweetheart" I praise as she puts an item of my clothing into a suitcase.

Henry slowly and quietly walks into the room, looking down at his feet the entire way. Despite him being a daddy's boy, he is broken and still unforgiving. He's broken and I hate seeing him this way.

He hops onto the bed and stands in the suitcase, slowly lowering himself to curl up inside my suitcase as though he is wanting to stay with me the entire time. I reach over and brush my shaky, trembling, weak hands through his dark tresses.

"You can't go to the hospice, you bumhead!" Scarlet yells.

I get a lift to the hospice, they have a room available. Killian helps me move in, despite us being broken up, I'm glad he is here. To support me and the children still.

Regina walks through the door and instantly I find the strength to form a small smile.

"How you doing?" She asks.

"Hooked up on morphine, I'm great" I joke, I'm not. I'm weaker than ever. I'm dying and I feel it.

"How are the kids?" She asks.

"Henry told his teacher to 'F' off and Scarlet got her ears pierced. They're not taking it well but I never expected them to." I stutter slowly. "I need you to watch the kids when I'm gone"

"You're not going anywhere" Regina stubbornly responds.

"Promise me"

"Emma!"

"Promise me!"

"I promise" she nods, brushing away my short blonde scruffy locks and kisses my forehead.

"Pass me that box" I point behind her. She picks up the box and places it on my legs, but even the light cardboard box that weighs nothing feels as though it's crushing me weak legs. "I have something for you. I cannot help but notice that, since you're pregnant, you've been rather overdosing on the Birkenstock's."

"Well their comfortable" she looks down to her brown sandals. "And completely the trend"

"No, Regina, they're not. They're revolting. So I have these for you" I lift the lid to show a gorgeous set of black heals with a popping red stiletto.

"Oh my god" she gasps.

"Unworn. They're a touch too showy for this place."

"Wow, you're really going aren't you?" She cries.

"Why else would I be giving you my best lair of shoes?" I tease. "I'm holding on" I need to hold on for as long as I can. They need me as much as I need them.

"Good"

"Please don't let the kids forget me. Tell them all the things we did. You're my expert witness." I giggle, but I end up choking on my own air. She smiles down at me.

"Even the time you punched out the police officer and then thrown up in the bin" she giggles hysterically as she lays out my past.

"Maybe edit my high school years..." i sigh. And now we're back to reality, without all the humour and jokes. This is serious now. "Never stop telling them I love them"

Regina nods and takes my hand into hers. She lifts it high and places a single kiss to my skin. I need some sort of distraction. This place is going to tear my mood down everyday.

"Alright, pop the shoes on, let me see" I beam, Regina slides off her horrendous sandals and struggles to slide into the heals. "Ooo sexy" I giggle as I watch Regina strut and sway her hips from left to right as she models walks them over to the window and back.

"Oh yeah, these feel right" she grins. "What are these? A good 7-inches?" She questions, I scoff and giggle. "Just what every girl needs"

"That's what she said" I chuckle, because without my humour, I'm not me. Despite my health and condition I still need to be me until my last breath, so I will be. "Will you think of me when you wear those shoes?" I ask but that's what it's come to. Figuring out moments I will be remembered by and moments I'll be forgotten by. I hate the thought of leaving, which is why I live off the memories we have going.

"Both times" she shrugs, referring to her newly fashionable heals and those god awful sandals she thinks are trendy.