STOP N SHOP

ALWAYS YOU -5- (JiBea)

I run. I keep on running. I run as fast as I could away from them. I run away from the things I've just heard. I am running away from things that have hurted me.

Ang bigat sa pakiramdam, sa sobrang bigat gusto ko na maging manhid na lang para wala nang maramdaman pa na kahit anong sakit. Ayoko ng ganitong feeling, ayoko na.

Nang mapagod na kakatakbo tumigil na ako and I found myself na nakatayo sa dalampasigan malapit sa batuhan. And to release the heavy feelings deep inside, I shout it out loud.

"Ahhhhhh. Ahhhhhhhh. Ahhhhhh."

Sigaw ko as the tears keeps on falling from my eyes. But shouting out loud was not enough to take the pain away. I was not enough.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh. Ahhhhhhh. Ahhhhh."

But still I continue shouting kaya lang hindi pa rin nabawasan. Kaya napaluhod ako sa buhanginan habang nakakuyom ang mga kamay. Then, napayuko ako as I let my tears continue fell from my eyes.

I felt so empty and lost right now. And all I thought is that I am a mess. I am a big mess. My life sucks and I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what is going on.

And suddenly, I felt someone behind me wrapping her hands around me. She slowly wrap her hands tightly around me. As I feel her embrace, the feeling is so familiar.

10 years have pass, but the feeling to be in her warmth embrace have never changed. And my heart still remembers it.

No matter how many times I will deny it to myself, apart of me just misses her embrace. Apart of me has been longing to be in her arms again.

Though my mind says I shouldn't feel that way my heart says otherwise. Kahit may galit akong nararamdaman for Bea, but deep inside me alam ko na nandun pa rin yung puso ko para sa kanya.

And I hated to feel that way. I hated myself because I can't let go. I hated the fact that I could only taught my mind to hate her but not my heart.

And now, with the way she is embracing me my heart just knows what to feel. Longing, my heart longs fir it for a very long time.

BEA: "I'm sorry. I am really sorry."

Wika niya near my ears as she did not let go of me with her embrace. And with the tone of her voice, I know she was crying too.

But I don't know what to feel and what to say anymore. Wala na akong lakas pa at yung sistema ko is already in chaos. So I just remained quiet and keeps on crying.

BEA: "I am sorry because I know how much my words hurt you that day. I am sorry because it took me 10 years to go back. I'm sorry."

I just let her speak but I don't know if I understood her. I cannot process everything but I heard everything she said.

BEA: "I am so sorry because I don't have the courage to fight for you back then. I am so sorry that I have to leave you and says things that cause you pain and to hate me so much."

And I felt that she kissed the top of my head. She did it many times.

BEA: "But now, I am back. I am going to make things right. I won't allow that bxxtxxx to do whatever he wanted. I will make sure he gets what he trully deserved."

Bumitaw siya sa pagyakap sa akin and she moves infront of me.

BEA: "Come on."

Sabay lahad ng kamay niya infront of me. And I look at her and she urges me to hold her hand. And I did.