Even if the Barricade Should Fall

Chapter twenty-one

"Yes Enjolras, but when will the uprising be?!" Combeferre rose from his chair.

"I DON'T KNOW, OK?!" Enjolras sat down in defeat. He held his head in his hands, looking completely lost.

"I don't know when the uprising will be..." he stared intently at the table. I got up from my seat next to Grantaire and stood behind him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"It's ok, my lov-"

"No! It's not ok... I am you're leader. I should at least know the date of when we fight for our freedom" Enjolras cutt me off. He remained hunched over, the fire inside being slowly smothered by his frustration.

"Listen everybody!" Gavroche burst through the door with a red face, slightly out of breath.

"General Lamarque is dead!" Gavroche announced and everything froze, Enjolras shot his head up and his posture straightened out again, but then he too froze.

"Lamarque is dead..." Enjolras practically told himself.

"Lamarque..." He said again. Then suddenly, it was back, the spark, the passion, the fire.

"His death his the hour of fate!" A picture of the revolution built up in his head.

"The people's man... his death, is the sign we await!" He announced and my chest became heavy. This wasn't a game, or a rumour, or just a piece of the future that would happen years later. This wasn't later, this was now.

"On his funeral day, we will honour his name! With the light of rebellion ablaze in their eyes!" Enjolras stood on his chair. A look of relief and passion washed over him as he no longer let his boys down, he had found the perfect opportunity to strike.

"From the candles of grief we will kindle our flame. On the tomb of Lamarque shall our barricade rise! Our time is near!" Enjolras started a speech and the others joined in.

"Let us welcome it gladly with courage and cheer!"

"Let us take to the streets with no doubt in our hearts!"

"With a jubilant shout, they will come one and all!"

"They will come when we call!" The room erupted in cheers and joy. I too joined in, but it was only to mask the pain that sank my heart as the date I should loose my love was officially set.

"This is brilliant!" Joly turned to me with an exited smile.

"Yes..." I stared off into space in despair for a moment.

"Yes of course! The revolution is set! Congratulations!" I nodded to Joly snapping out of my stare. Joly gave me a another big grin, followed by a huge hug.

"Boys! I have an announcement!" Enjolras stood on the chair to his right.

"In honour and celebration of our now official uprising, I would like to invite you all to my family ball. Bring a plus-one and Grantaire, do not show up drunk" Enjolras announced, reaching for my hand as he spoke about the boys bringing their "plus-ones". I faked a smile as I took his hand... I've never faked anything to Enjolras before to hide how I felt...

"I won't show up drunk! Expecting it will be drinks on the house?!" Grantaire smirked, I really must learn his ways of knowing exactly what to say to Fireboy.

"Jokes aside, I would like this to be an honourable night, boys. Dress sharp and you will be expected after half past seven" Enjolras hopped off the chair. He let go of my hand and instead laid an arm around my waist. I loved it when he didn't care he was in front of his followers and dared to show public signs of affection... it was very attractive, the thought of a revolution however, not so much.

"Joly! Music!" Lesgle commanded and Joly gladly started playing. It was just like the other day, everyone dancing around, laughing and cheering... everyone except me.

I watched my fiancé getting playfully tossed around as if he was on a bachelor party... the bachelor party that, most likely, he will never experience. He looked so happy, laughing and smiling as the young boys mucked around to the music, they looked like they were twelve again, playing around without a care in the world.

"Not in the partying mood?" Grantaire's voice sounded as I felt someone take a seat next to me on the window ledge.

"Not really..." I looked out of the window and off into the distance.

"You look like you could use a drink" Grantaire offered, extending the bottle out in front of me.

"Tempting Grantaire, but, yeah, I'm not in the mood" I looked at the bottle then to my knees.

"Suit yourself" He took the bottle back and had a drink.

"You know, although I like to the piss out if your lover boy, I really do admire his courage" Grantaire looked at the boys then sadly half smiled to me.

"As do I, Grantaire" I returned the same faulty smile as I tried not to cry.

"Gen, he really loves you, you know that" he took my hand and, for once, put his bottle down. I took that gesture gratefully as it showed he really was human, as odd as it sounds. He loved, he cried, alcohol wasn't the only important thing in his life.

"I know, Grantaire, I know he does" I looked to Grantaire then to Enjolras who was having the time of his life with his best friends, smiling and laughing madly.

"If he dies, it won't be in vein, Gen... it will be for you" Grantaire shook his head looking into my eyes.

"But HOW could it possibly be for me?!" I snapped, taking Grantaire by surprise with my suddenly raised voice. I noticed Enjolras' head snap in the direction where the noise came from, only to be swept away with the other boys who were too engrossed in Joly's musical talents to notice.

"I- I... don't know" Grantaire replied, still in shock.

"He's going to die. He's going to die for France. The love of my life is true hero and I have the best story of romance to tell my future grandchildren! And that's if I even get them!" I cried, angrily biting my lip to stop tears from spilling.

"... if I lose him, Grantaire...
I will never love again"