Even if the Barricade Should Fall

Chapter twenty-nine

I held Gavroche in my arms until Enjolras had returned, I'd always wanted a child, and many women my age have at least one child by now, so I guess you could call me behind in a way.

There was a quiet knocking at my door and next Enjolras entered. I tried to read his face but his expression was near impossible to read, he was not the same Enjolras that was in my minutes before.

"Hello, darling" I smiled, lowering my volume as I'd realised Gavroche was asleep.

"Hi" he said simply.

"Everything ok?" I carefully stood up and started walking over to him, carrying Gavroche on my hip, his head draped on my shoulder.

"Uh, yes" he looked up at me.

"What's wrong?" I whispered.

"Nothing is wrong" he shook his head.

"I'm going to go put Gavroche down in the spare room, don't move please" I spoke sternly, he wasn't the only one who knew how to be cold.

I walked through to the spare room, informing Anita to keep an eye on him and to make sure father doesn't come up and find him. I carefully set him in the bed, placed head on the feather pillow then gently pulled the covers over him.

"Goodnight, Gavroche" I laid a gentle kiss on his forehead then quietly closed the door behind me. As I walked down the hall I began to brace myself for the possible conversation I could have with Enjolras when I returned to my room.

I slowly opened the door to my bedroom, finding Enjolras in the same place he was when I left but instead of standing, he was leaning with his back against the wall.

I walked around him then leant against the wall next to him, waiting for something to happen, nothing did for a while. We just stood there, facing forward looking at good knows what, I gazed out the window, then at the dark room we stood in, dimly lit by the moon outside.

"I'm sorry, Genevieve" Enjolras spoke quietly, staring forward at nothing.

"Whatever for?" I asked confused, turning to look at him. Although I was sure he could feel my eyes on him, he continued staring forwards.

"The things I can't be" he answered simply.

"Enjolras, what are you talking about?" My brows furrowed as I spoke in confusion.

"I heard you and Gavroche talking, about how you are going to be his mother..." he spoke very monotoned.

"Yes... and you a possible father figure too him? Or even just a big brother, someone too look up to" I offered shyly, not knowing what his response would be.

"I can't do that" he looked at the floor.

"And why not? You already are his saviour, can't you see?!" I stressed to him. Whether Enjolras liked it or not, Gavroche admired him.

"Gavroche admires you with every bit of his little heart, and for you to turn around and say you don't want to have a family with us-" I began but was stopped.

"I didn't say that!" Enjolras' head snapped to me after the words left my mouth. It fell silent as Enjolras looked at me, he looked as if he was in pain, I swear I could see tears bubbling along the waterlines of his eyes, seeing him like this broke me in two.

"I didn't say I don't want a family with you..." he looked deep into my eyes. I held my breath as he spoke, his deep blue eyes staring intently into mines.

"I love you and that little boy more that life itself" Enjolras slid down the wall in defeat.

His breathing became unsteady as he sat on the carpet with his arms hugging his knees and his head and back still leaning against the wall. I slowly slid down the wall and joined him on the floor, sitting with my knees up also, and my hands resting in my lap.

"Do you have any idea how much if an impact you've had on that little boys life?" I looked at him but he still stared at the ceiling.

"You're his hero, Enjolras" I happily admitted to him.

"Gen, I'm leading my boys into a suicide mission... how could I possibly be a hero?" He turned his head to face me.

"Because, my love..." I took one of his hands and incased it in both of mine, giving it a gentle kiss to show my love in a simple way.

"You are brave, you are noble and, although chances of survival are slimmer than preferred, you leading the next generations to come into a new France" I looked into his eyes as I spoke.

He looked back into my brown eyes then lifted his hand up to hold my cheek, gently bringing my face closer to his.

"I love you" he gave a small smile then joined our lips.

"I love you too, Fireboy" I pulled away and smiled to him. I reconnected our lips, this time pulling each other closer to the point were his legs had straightened out and I was sitting on his lap.

I knew that no matter how many times we disagreed or our stubbornness collided, we would always find a way out, back to each other's lips, and I would always a find way back to him.