Mending a Broken Heart [Ouran Highschool Host Club Fanfic]

Chapter 15

Hikaru walked back to the house in the rain, without a coat or umbrella. But he didn't care, he was more focused on the ground, his head hung low and his soaking wet hair covered his red, tear-stained face more.

Hikaru tried to think of something else, but the image of his precious daughter's face couldn't leave his mind. He also couldn't seem to feel anything anymore, despite him repeating the phrase over, and over, and over again in his head.

Hikaru: "It's for Kaoru, he'll be happy without this burden... I'm doing this for Kaoru, he'll be happy and be able to live his life without the... without the..."

Hikaru stopped, his legs shook and he fell to his knees, crying and choking on the air. His hands were buried in his face, even though he didn't acknowledge who was looking at him.

Actually, there was only one person on the sidewalk. That person ran over and picked him up, taking him to one of those bus stops with the roof on it. The person sat Hikaru down and also sat next to him. Hikaru didn't pay attention until the person's familiar voice rang through his ears.

Tamaki: Hikaru...? What's the matter...?

Hikaru snapped his head up and looked at Tamaki, who had a concerned expression on his face. Hikaru's shocked face however turned into a glare targeted directly at Tamaki, who looked more confused.

Hikaru: What do you think happened...?

Tamaki: I can't know what happened, you guys stopped talking to me months ago. You all blocked my number, missed my wedding, (which honestly was more underwhelming than I think it was supposed to be), Kyoya even sent the invitation back. And you didn't even give me an explanation!

Hikaru laughed, anger rapidly replacing sadness.

Hikaru: Oh, and why do you think we did that?

Tamaki: What part of 'you didn't even give me an explanation' didn't you understand?

Hikaru growled.

Hikaru: Tamaki, Haruhi gave you an explanation when you took her to the hospital.

Tamaki paused thinking back to that moment. Still confused by her wording. He calmed down.

Tamaki: Yeah, I get it now... you guys must feel a little guilty for that treatment, thinking back I think it was a little overboard... but why did you have to cut contact with me? You didn't think I might have regretted a slight overreaction like that?!

Hikaru sat up.

Hikaru: If you regretted acting that way towards Haruhi, why haven't you tried to contact her to apologize?!

Tamaki: Because I was still hurt, and recently she must have changed her phone number because I can't call her anymore!

Hikaru: Hurt by what?! How could you have possibly been hurt?! When you were the one who caused Haruhi all that pain!

Tamaki: Don't you remember what happened?! Haruhi cheated on me and got pregnant with another guy's kid!

Hikaru covered his ears.

Hikaru: Again?! You can't fool me this time Tamaki! Why would you lie to all of us like that?!

Tamaki: I never lied to you, I don't remember sleeping with Haruhi!

Hikaru: Why don't you ask Haruhi?! In case you forgot, your memory kinda sucks! Also, while you're at it, why not ask the baby you abandoned?!

Tamaki: They're not my kid!

Hikaru slammed his palms on the bench and stood up in anger.

Hikaru: You know what?! I can understand how stressful having a child at our age is! But I don't see why you would want to hurt Haruhi like that! And why you had to lie to us so we would join in! Now Kaoru doesn't trust me because of you! All because I was stupid enough to listen to you, instead of asking Haruhi about it! I can't believe I fell for it! Now I'm never going to see my daughter again! And I can't look to Kaoru to comfort me because we broke up! And I can't tell him anything about how I feel because he never wanted me to know! So thanks for ruining my life! Breaking Haruhi's heart! And leaving Shiromi fatherless!

Hikaru stormed off, tears falling from his eyes as the sadness engulfed him once again. Tamaki was left surprised by his words. But didn't say anything. Hikaru kept walking home starting to cry as a new sentence started repeating over and over again in his head.

Hikaru: "I'll never see my daughter again, and it's my fault... I'll never see my daughter again, and it's, my, fault!"

Suddenly something inside Hikaru snapped, and he felt numb. He simply kept walking as his head was filled with several awful sentences. 'You drove your loved ones away.' 'It's your fault you'll never see your daughter again.' 'You didn't deserve her in the first place.' 'Kaoru was right not to trust you.' Hikaru agreed with them. Of course he did. They were right after all.

He made it back to the house and walked into his and Kaoru's room, right, how were sleeping conditions going to work? He shrugged, he wouldn't mind sleeping on the couch, he deserved it. He looked over at something he left in his suitcase, and bit his lip. Hikaru and Kaoru were always told not to do this, but, it hurt too much... so he grabbed it, rolled up his sleeve, and left a cut. Near his left wrist.

He started to feel better immediately, one cut turned to two, then three, then four. He felt better but instantly regretted what he did. Knowing it could become a dangerous habit in the future he quickly went into the bathroom and tossed the razor in the trash, got out some bandages, and cleaned up his arm, he then wrapped the bandages around the cuts, immediately seeing some blood appear.

Hikaru pulled his sleeve down, not wanting to look at it.

Hikaru: "How did I get this bad...?"

Then he remembered Taro's words from when he first went to stay at Tokyo. And the whole situation dawned on him. Hikaru put both hands on the counter and looked into the mirror. Mouthing a simple question that devastated him. And must have devastated his friends and family.

Hikaru: What am I doing to myself...?
Two Days Later
Hikaru hid in his and Kaoru's room, trying to comprehend everything that's happened.

Hikaru: "Why was I too scared to talk to Kaoru...? If I really loved Sakura, why didn't I tell him the truth earlier?"

It was in that moment he heard someone bounding up the stairs and banging on the door.

-Kaoru: Hikaru let me in please!

Hikaru lifted his head and quickly walked over to the door. He hesitated before unlocking it and opening it. Hikaru was then shocked to see Kaoru standing there crying, with Sakura in his arms. Hikaru was frozen in place, unable to comprehend what was happening. Kaoru spoke with a broken voice.

Kaoru: D-did I really hurt you that much...?

Hikaru: W-wha—...?

Kaoru: I wanted to keep Sakura too...! I-I was just scared of how you'd react, if you'd just told me I never would have let you go through his much pain! And I'm sorry for breaking up with you... Hikaru, I love you, I-I'm sorry you only heard part of all this. I never wanted to break up with you either, I-I just...—

Hikaru: It's alright Kaoru... you had a right to be worried... after what I did to Haruhi...

Kaoru shook his head.

Kaoru: It was never about that Hikaru! It was just that stupid, instinctual thing that everyone feels if they're having a child at our age...

Hikaru looked at Kaoru, he hesitantly reached his arm out and pulled Kaoru into a hug.

Kaoru: You didn't have to stay silent you know... your opinion mattered too...

Hikaru: But you were the one having Sakura, yours was more important.

Kaoru sighed.

Kaoru: It might have been... but there's no reason you had to make yourself suffer like that...

Hikaru looked down in defeat, having started agreeing with that. Kaoru smiled at him and held Sakura out for him. Hikaru happily accepted the offer and smiled as he held his daughter in his arms. Kaoru then hugged him tightly, leaned in, and gently kissed Hikaru on the lips. Hikaru melted with joy, he couldn't believe all this was happening now, but he accepted the kiss and hugged Kaoru back with his free arm.