Devotion [h.s]

288

"Why are you looking at me with that smile? Every time I laugh you do that." He chuckles while looking at me through his light green eyes, rubbing the burn cream on my hand.

"You have a lovely smile." I spit out, feeling my stomach turn.

-Malignant

Amelia Adams

It's been two weeks since the day I woke up to my new life; a week in the hospital and a week at home with my parents.

I have seized to remember anything and my mom tried to rejog my memory as much as she could but she's also revealed to me that she hasn't been in my life much for these two years as she would have wanted to. It wasn't until after Briar was born that they were around more.

She has given me a lot to think about, telling me that Harry is a good guy that I don't need to fear. She wants me to trust him despite what he's done, and that was really a lot coming from my mother. She was radiating so much compassion now, the same compassion she had when I was little. I've missed that light in her eyes that's been out since Adrian left.

I'm suppose to move in with Harry today, and it's definitely something I've been really nervous about. A huge part of me just wanted to stay with my parents to where I was comfortable and familiar with everything, but even they have convinced me it was better if I went with him instead.

Also, I have yet to meet my daughter. My mom has explained to me the whole situation with Children's Aid so I'll understand. And basically, Briar is under my full custody until Harry has his court date in a couple months to get his half back. She told me how Harry suffered with drugs when I was in a coma, and that's how she was taken away in the first place because his friends were worried. The minute he lost Briar he fixed himself and worked to sobriety again. This was all shocking news to me but compared to everything else Harry told me about himself, that was the tip of the iceberg.

Ever since I talked to Harry that day I woke up, he's been around every single day. But when I say he's been around, I mean he's present, but not touching or really speaking to me. He wasn't ignoring me, but he was giving me mental space while I recovered and let my parents be the ones to assist me with everything.

We barely exchange more then three sentences in a day, he was very stand offish but so was I. It's nice he wasn't pushing it with me trying to remember him, he was just around to show support. Even when I came home a week ago, he checked in almost everyday except for these last three.

I wanted to ask him so many more questions, but I was scared of the answers. Not just scared of the awful things he's done, but to find out things I forgot about myself. This was all very difficult for me, trying to remember a life I never thought I had.

It's like I was waiting for someone to say 'just kidding' or 'we got you!' And reveal this was all just a twisted joke and I really still was just a nineteen year old high schooler like I remember. But I think we're too far gone from that.

In the hospital I spent every night alone—or so I thought.

Everyday for a week my mom, dad, Audrey, and Harry said their goodbyes around 9pm and I would fall right asleep. Until one night I woke up unexpectedly around 2 am to see Harry sitting in the chair next to my bed, his hand very softly holding mine as he was fast asleep in his uncomfortable seat.

But when I woke up at 6am he was gone and then came back with everyone else around 9am, pretending he was never there to begin with in the night time.