Devotion [h.s]

297

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(meaning make sure you didn't miss the notification on chapter 296)

It was nearly nine at night when I was in my room getting my pyjamas on, fighting the dreaded thoughts in my mind at what tomorrow was gonna bring. I felt like I had to constantly distract myself, or else I'd break down in tears at the thought of Harry walking out that door and never coming back. I had a constant pit in my stomach and the date today was a good distraction but once we got home all I could think about was tomorrow again.

I threw on my pyjamas, shorts and a white tank top. I didn't feel like myself, mainly because I was an acratic mess on the inside.

I opened my door to go see Harry, needing to see his face to distract me again from the horrors of tomorrow. I couldn't be apart from him at a time like this, we've been glued to the hip since 6am this morning. I just had to not cry, that's it. I've been fighting these tears for hours because I'm refusing to breakdown on our last full day together. I almost let it all go today a couple times, but thanks to him I got myself together.

When I walked out of my room I heard him talking in the room next to mine, Briar's. I froze and tried to hear what he was saying, assuming he was talking to her. I know he was gonna put her to bed.

Her door was half open, the room dark. I tiptoed over and peaked in the doorway, seeing him standing with his back to me and holding her flat in his arms. He was talking her down to sleep, her body laying completely horizontal in his arms with a pacifier in her mouth.

"I wish it didn't have to be like this." He spoke so quietly to her. "I wish I didn't have to let you go."

Oh no, I should be listening to this is I wanted to keep my emotions in order.

"When you were born, I told you I was going to help you with so many things as you grew up. I said I'd teach you how to ride a bike, drive a car, how to shoot a gun, and so much more. I really wanted to teach you so many things muppet. And I'm sorry I couldn't keep those promises to you." His voice conveyed so softly to her, my heart beating so harshly that I thought he may hear it.

"You have to take it easy on mum okay? She gonna have a hard time raising you on her own. I know she'll do an amazing job and you'll turn out just fine, but try to help her out as much as you can. She's still getting used to this mother role and I know that everyday she adores you more and more. She will love you more then anyone on this planet and I know you'll love her too." He said to here while I stayed hidden in the doorway.

"Out of all the awful things I've done on this planet, I believe that my life had one purpose and it was to have you before I passed. I think that I was destine to fall in love with your mum and create you because before her I was just a bad person. I was completely bad and when I met her a part of me became good. Then shortly after we made you and I whole heartedly believe that all the good in me transferred to you to live on and now the bad part of me needs to pass away with all the hurt I've caused." The minute he finished that sentence my eyes shut in heartbreak, my hand gripping the doorframe.

This was all too much.

"But sweetheart, I would do anything to keep you and mum safe. And wherever I end up I'll watch out for you and her forever. You will always be my muppet even when you grow old and have your own family. We will meet again in another life, even if I have to beg and plead my way into heaven, or set fire to the pearly gates themselves if that means I get to see you and your mother again." He whispers down to her, my lips parting because I was finding it hard to perceive oxygen at his point. "I will always love you, and you're going to be just fine with mum and whoever she has in the future. Even if she falls in love again, I know it would be with someone who cherished you like their own daughter and that's all I'd ever want for you. But even if that all happens, I will always be here in your heart. Got it?" He spoke so softly as she was falling asleep.