The Graveyard (Zeldris x Female Reader)

Part 37

You stand and wipe your eyes and, after taking a few deep breaths, you come out from behind the pillar. Estarossa hasn't moved. You've met Loki maybe twice, but she seems sweet. Definitely mischievous, but sweet. Most of what you know about her came from one of Lizzy's friends, a Norse Pagan whose relationship with Loki was closer than their relationship with other gods. The had told you a few things about the Norse pantheon, but one of the more important rules they'd insisted on is to ask Loki what her pronouns are whenever you meet with her. That makes sense to you.

You walk towards Estarossa. Chances are you won't wake up back in your apartment until you face him.

"I expected you to be literally anywhere else by now, but..."

You tense up again, but force your leaden legs to keep moving and you face him. He glares at you and you avoid his gaze, but you're facing him.

"But I still can't move. Are you doing this to torture me?"

Tears spring into your eyes, but the sound that comes out of your mouth is... laughter? You're laughing. Why the fuck are you laughing? You can't stop yourself. And it's definitely not a cute laugh, oh no, it's one of those high pitched hysterical hyena laughs. Does he seriously think that YOU are torturing HIM? After all the shit he's put you through?

The glare intensifies and you finally calm down enough to compose yourself.

"What's so funny?"

It's not a question. It's a threat. And Hunter used to do that shit all the time. Yeah, Hunter terrified and terrorized you for far too many years, but Estarossa scares you shitless. Maybe your brain has shut down the fear centre of your brain? Maybe the proximity to the obviously dangerous demon that defies all logic has caused that part of your mind to shut down from the sheer stupidity of not doing as he suggested and turning tail to flee. In the back of your mind, you still want to run. You still want to cry until you puke and curl up in a ball somewhere like your closet for an entire day and then spend an entire hour sitting on the floor of a shower with the water turned way too hot.

But you don't do any of that.

"What's so funny?" you repeat, chuckling.

"Oh, I see, you've finally snapped."

"No," you don't need to raise your voice. Estarossa's mouth is open like he had more to say, but the words that should have come out seem to have died in his throat. You take another deep breath. Another pause.

"I'm just calmer than you are and it freaks you out" you say.

"You know nothing about me."

"I know the thought of your father binding our souls together makes you want to set yourself on fire. I know you can't stand the idea and frankly neither can I."

"If you're trying to win me to your side--"

"I'm not," you smirk, "but as someone who has had her consent both ignored and violated, seeing someone like you in the same boat almost feels like justice. And yet..."

You take another deep breath before you continue.

"And yet I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Not even you. Not even after all the horrible things you've done to me and to women just like me. I can't hate you; because I've been where you're at and it sucks. I really do pity you and I'm sure you'd love to say something about how you're going to kill me once you work through your hatred towards me but... Oh, jeez, you can't even move your mouth to talk to me, can you? That's not really fair, is it?"

You turn to leave.

"Do yourself a favour and leave me alone," you say as you walk away.