Journal (Calum Hood)

Entry 1 (Stephanie)

Entry 1 (Stephanie)

i can't believe they found me. i was so close, and they pulled me away from the edge. don't they see that i hate it here? with all the lies and cheats, and douche bags and bitches. why can't they see that? im also not good enough to be alive, to have these amazing friends, to smile and laugh. that is why I was going to jump. every time my dad hit me he was correct to do so. he was just punishing me for fucking up, which I do a lot. i deserved it, im a mess up, i make too many mistakes. i am not good enough to live here on this earth with all these damn successful people, and people who aren't mistakes. i hate seeing people who are genuinely happy, not because I hate happy people, but because it reminds me that if i didn't fuck up all the time, i would be that happy person. i don't know how my friends deal with me all the time, honestly i don't. i can't even handle myself, how do they? anyway, i was going to jump to save my friends from my fuck ups. but then they found the note too soon, and here i am now, eight hours later, sitting on a couch, waiting for luke, ashton, isabella, and avery to show up. cal is making me explain everything to them. wish me luck, journal.

stephanie xx

"Hey, Steph. What are you writing?" Mike asks.

"Oh, it's nothing." I say, with a shy smile.

"You wouldn't be hiding it if it was nothing."

"It is, I promise."

"Okay, whatever."

"What happened? Calum just called me saying something about Stephanie, and to meet here immediately. Is she okay?" Isabella asks, walking into the flat, with Ashton, Luke, and Ave trailing behind.

"Uh, I'm right here." I quietly say. They all rush towards me and hug me.

"What happened? Are you okay?" Ave asks.

You mean besides the suicidal thoughts?

"Um, yeah, I'm okay."

"What happened?"

"It's kind of a long story."

"We have time." All seven of them sit down with unanswered questions.

"So, basically I'm suicidal. I am a fuck up, I hate it here. I was going to jump off this building, but they found my suicide note before they were supposed to, and just as I was going to jump, they pulled me back."

"Oh, my gosh." Ave says.

"Please give us more details than that. All of it."

"Okay, fine. I was work and I made a mistake and my boss got upset. He rose a hand, but he only brought it up to his head. I thought he was going to hit me, and when he didn't, I thought it would be better that he should. I would be taught a lesson. And I thought right then, "I fuck up a lot. My father was right. I am a burden." So I decided to kill myself so everyone wouldn't have to deal with me anymore. I came home and wrote my note, then I went to the roof to jump. Apparently, during this time, Luna came home with Calum and Mike, and they found my note. I set foot over the edge, and Cal pulled me back."

"Steph, I can tell you this. You are not a fuck up. You are wonderful, amazing, beautiful, and one of the best and nicest people I've ever met. Everyone makes mistakes, but that's what friendship is. We forgive each other and at the end of the day, we still love one another. You deal with with my mistakes, and I deal with Michaels, he deals with Luna's, who deals with Avery's, and she deals with Calum's. Calum deals with Ashton's fuck ups, and he deals with Luke's, who deals with yours. It's all friendship, we deal with one another's shit, and we all have plenty of shits. We love you and you are not a fuck up." Isabella says.