Journal (Calum Hood)

Entry 23 (Stephanie)

Entry 23 (Stephanie)

I really love New Years. It's like, a whole new year just waiting to happen. And it's funny to think about, today, January 1, I am an eighteen year old girl, with no job, not in college. I have some pretty great friends, and my father is in jail. I also have a boyfriend. By December 31, the only think I know, is that I'll be nineteen. I may be in college, with a job. I may still have that boyfriend, I may not. He may be my fiancé. Luna and Michael may be engaged. Avery could get pregnant with Luke's baby. (I doubt that, but it's possible.) Izzy and Ashton could elope!

It's great to try to look ahead, and wonder, what's gonna happen? Hell, it may be the worst year of my life. I could break up with Calum, my friends may all hate me. Or, something may happen, and I lock myself up in my room.

It may also be the best year of my life. I could get accepted to college. I could write a book! I could do amazing things.

I may die.

And that's the thing about New Years. You don't know. Some people hate not knowing, but me? I love it.

And it's just not New Years. Any time throughout your life, you don't know what's ahead of you. Like, maybe you know that tomorrow, you're gonna go grocery shopping after work. But what you won't know, is that at the store, you'll run into a friend from high school. You didn't wake up this morning and say, I'm going to run into an old friend.

You just don't know.

And it's great not knowing. It's like a mystery. What's gonna happen next, and how will that affect me? Guess what?

I don't know.

Calum walks into my bedroom and lays down on the bed next to me.

"Whatcha doing?" He sings.

"Thinking."

"About what?"

"Not knowing what life will bring me."

"May I join?"

"Of course."

"Okay, I don't know, that by the end of the year, if I'll have a job."

"I'm hoping to get a job this year."

"Me too. I also don't know, if I'll have a beard."

"Probably not." I tell him and he laughs.

"Okay, you're right. I probably won't grow a beard."

"I'm not sure what I'm going to do in life."

"Like, as a job?"

"Like, as anything. Will I be a mother? I would love to be a mother, to have a little girl and treat her like my father never treated me. But maybe I won't be able to have kids."

"You want a daughter?"

"I would love a daughter. I'm going to name her Martha, after my mother."

"What if your husband disagrees?"

"He won't. Not if it is about my mother."

"How are you so sure?"

"Because I'm going to find a man that respects my past. Who that is though, I'm not sure."

"What would you like for your wedding?"

"I'd love a traditional one, in a church. My dress will be long and flowy. The reception will be beautiful, and so will the ceremony. My husbands father will give me away, because it's like, he sees me as a daughter."

"You know what?"

"What?"

"I'd love to have a daughter named Martha, after your mother. That wedding sounds like my dream wedding, and I bet my father would find it an honor to walk you down the aisle."

"You're so smooth, Calum."

"I know. But seriously, I'd love that. We can live in a small city near Sydney, and have one more daughter along with Martha. We'll raise them to be classy, and elegant, with manners, just as little girls should be. At the same time they'll be strong, and beautiful, just as their mother." Calum fantasizes.

"That sounds wonderful, Calum. You'll be the best father around, one who loves his kids with all his heart. You will play dress up with them, and have tea parties."

"And if we have a son?"

"We will teach him to be a gentleman, and how to treat ladies correctly. He'll be smart and strong, and handsome. Exactly like his father."

"I've always wanted little Calum's running around." Calum says. "And little Stephanie's will be adorable."

"When we retire, we can travel the world. We can spend a summer traveling Europe, and visit every major city in America. We can take a trip to Asia, and South America. We can go to a hockey game in Canada, and experience real Mexican food. And when we visit Africa, we can explore like crazy."

"Can we start in Australia? We live here, but I haven't seen the majority of it."

"Of course we can." I say.

"Good, then traveling the world sounds wonderful."

"Now I'm getting excited." I laugh. "But hey, just like we were talking about earlier, we never know."

"You're completely right, we don't. Which is why you must promise me something."

"What?"

"When we get older, promise me that we'll get married, and have two elegant little girls, with a gentleman of a son. We will live in a small town, be the best parents around, and when we retire, we can travel the world together."

"Calum, we can't really insure anything."

"Then promise me that you'll spend the rest of your life with me, even if our fantasy doesn't come true, my princess."

"I promise you I'll spend the rest of my life with you."

Then, a thought came to mind. Will I really marry him? Is this a legit promise? Even if I do marry him, will our fantasy come true?

There's the thing about life.

I don't know.

A/N: and yes that's how I'm ending it.

There will be an epilogue, no need to fear.

Thank you all so much for reading, I love you. It means so much to me. this story has been a blast to write.

UPDATE! I need to pee.

Hope you enjoyed! See you next update!

Bailey xx