𝕘𝕚𝕣𝕝𝕪-𝕓𝕠𝕪 ~ 𝕛𝕒𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕪

Mind

November

So me and Zach have been together for roughly 3 in a half weeks.

Its been pretty good.

All of us couples have been having a great time.

But I just can't help but think that Zach doesn't like me like that.

He just seems distant in a way.

I can't put my finger on it.

Not to mention he still hasn't come out to his parents so still only us friends know.

It sucks having to his from your loved ones and school.

But I'll do it for zach the love of my life.

Wednesday
School

As I walk into the school I'm dressed in some jean shorts and a cropped white hoodie that has a cactus on it.

I walk over to Zach and smile he places his arms around my waist and his head on my shoulder.

We head to our classes.

Lunch

I sat down to eat but I didn't feel to good so I gave my food to Jonah.

Zach was late to lunch and sat beside me u had my head on the table and was just setting there.

He leaned down and was rubbing my back.

"What's wrong baby" he asked me

"I don't feel to well" I said and he kissed my head

"I'm sorry. Do you want me to take you to the nurse" he asked me and I nodded

We walked to the office and I had a fever.

Sydnie was gonna come and pick me.

"Hey I got to go to class I love you jackyy" he said and I nodded and he kissed me goodbye.

I fell asleep for a few minutes before Sydnie came and got me.

"Hey jack what's wrong" she asked As we got into the car

"I just don't feel well and have a fever" I said

"It could be stress. Have you been stressed recently" she asked and I thought and then nodded

"Yeah i Have" I said

"About what" she asked

"Syd you promise not to tell mom" I said

"Promise" she said

"Well I'm dating his guy. He's super sweet. We've been dating for about a month now and all of it friends know. But he don't want to tell his parents. I get it. But still a month with a relationship and his parents are very accepting and he won't tell them. I'm scared that I'm just an experiment syd" i said not even noticing the tears roll down my cheeks.

We pulled into the drive way and she reached over the console and hugged me.

"Jay don't you dare think that it's because of you. And if he don't want to tell his parents then try and talk to him. Or just wait it out. If he truly loves you then he'll be ready when the time comes. Until then just be happy and love him as long as he loves you. Don't settle for anything less" she told me and hugged me again and gave me a reassuring smile.

"Thanks syd I love you" I said

"Love you too lil bro" she said and we got out of the car.

I took a hot bath and went to bed early.

Around 4:45 pm I was woken up.

"Hey Jay it's me" a voice said

"Oh and Me" another said

I raised up to see gabbie and Christina standing in front of my bed.

"Sydnie let us in" Gabbie said and they sat down.

"Oh okay" I said

"How are you feeling" Christina asked me

"I'm feeling much better. Where's Zach?" I asked

"That's good. And he said he couldn't make it" Gabbie says

"Oh okay." I said

"Wanna talk about anything? You haven't seemed like your normal self lately" Christina said and I though about if I should tell them how I've been feeling.

I eventually explained to them what I told Sydnie.

"Oh jacky. I bet it's not what you think." Christina says while hugging me

"I think you should talk to him about it. Unless you want to give him a little bit longer and see how things play" Gabbie says I nod and we decide on watching a movie.

After a little while they leave and I'm left with my thoughts.

He doesn't love you.

Yes he does

No he doesn't he's just using you

But what if he's not

But what if he is

He wouldn't do that he loves me

That's what he has you thinking

But he kisses me with such passion

That's your mind fooling you

No.

Yes.

Shut up

You're the one making me talk

Well stop

•

My mind kept arguing with itself I don't even know what I think anymore.

I just decided to sleep.