fangirl | han jisung

› 74

[ minho ]

my footsteps echoed throughout the silent park as i stopped walking infront of the swings.

"i'm here." her head perked up at my voice, quickly looking up to me to meet my gaze.

she's looks so beautiful tonight. such a shame that this will be the last time i'll look at her eyes, with feelings.

"minho.." she stood up, was about to continue but i cut her off before she can even say a word.

"i know."

her lips formed a thin line as she bowed her head down, clearly not wanting to look at me.

how tragic, i only wanted for her to look at me just like how she looks at him.

silence enveloped the both of us as we didn't speak a word. we both know what she's going to say so it doesn't really needed to be voiced out.

i know that she's going to reject me properly this time.

i know that i don't stand a chance, i never did anyways.

but i'm happy.

since i got the chance to show her how much i love her, and that is enough for me. i'm lucky enough to get the chance to do such thing.

"yeisha."

i called out, turning my body to fully face her. she lightly flinched, making me chuckle to myself quietly.

she's being cute and i hate it. she's making it hard for me to let her go. i don't wanna let go, i don't wanna lose this fight.

but i needed to.

for her.

"can you.." i gulped first, trying to hold back myself from crying infront of her.

"can you lie to me and tell me that you love me?"

her head snapped up, her beautiful brown eyes meeting mine as it unconsciously widened. it's still stunning.

"minho-"

"please." i knew that i sounded desperate. heck, i am. but right now, all i wanted to hear was her i love you, even if it's merely a lie.

"i.." she bit her lip, i nodded at her. a sign for her to continue, that i won't get hurt by it. that i wanted to hear it more than any word the world can say.

"i love you..minho.."

a dry chuckle escaped from my lips as i looked up into the dark nightsky, seeing the stars reminded me of the days we've gone together. and it's hurting me but i love it anyway.

"i love you too yeisha, so fucking much." my voice cracked as i shut my eyes closed, her words replaying inside my mind repeatedly.

breaking my heart into pieces all over again as this was the only thing i yearn to hear but will never get it real.

"minho.."

i sighed, composing my own self and fluttering my eyes open to look at her for the last time.

"yeisha, promise me that you'll take care of yourself okay?" i muttered, she looks confused but still nodded as i quietly laughed at her reaction.

"never overdo anything and stay away from danger. eat lots of food and never do anything reckless, okay?  and please..just please, stay happy. for me." i smiled bitterly as she held back her tears that is visibly forming on her eyes.

"for the last thing.." i brought my hand up to her face, wiping the single tear that have escaped from her eye.

"please don't cry, ever again, okay?" i turned my back, heaving up a breath before speaking up once again.

"you don't need to feel sorry about me, i'll be alright." i said, nodding my head for reassurance.

"for the last time.."

i inhaled heavily before taking a step away from her, the first step of letting go of her.

"yeisha, i love you..but this is our goodbye."

and with that, i left the park. i left her,  and my feelings for her.

sometimes, you gotta let go of what you love. especially if they love someone and it's not you.

and for the record, i, lee minho, has got his first heartbreak.

i chuckled bitterly, looking up as i felt something dropped. raindrops. it's raining. but i continued walking nevertheless along with my broken heart.

i don't need to worry for yeisha because i know, he will come.

it sure took him a lot of time to realize his own feelings for yeisha. and i know, it isn't late yet. it was never too late for him.

after all, yeisha loves him so much.

and up until now, i still wish for her to love me like that.

but i knew, she can't. she will never love me like that.